I have pain in my left shoulder blade. Feel like I am having heart palpatations. Fuck

[TheOriginalFAB]

nnb - I don't think I have HA. I have a body which reacts physically to emotional/stressful issues.

Counselling has been something I have had in the past but has never helped.

Ouch.

You have no idea how wrong you are.

Your posts do shout out HA, Fab. The internal stress manifesting as physical symptoms is part of it, IMO

I don't think counselling will help, either

I think you need an experienced therapist experienced in this sort of thing

Thanks for that.

Lots to think about.

Not sure if you're being sarcastic or not...

But yes - I think there is a lot to think about but there is a solution

You ned to want to sort it though

FAB I was one of the users on your MH thread, you obviously are suffering badly with depression and you need some help for that before everything else. It could be that your depression is causing some anxiety about your health so you need to be able to get that under control so you can start looking at what symptoms are caused by your depression and anxiety and which are being caused by genuine health issues.

The heart palpitations could have been down to a panic attack or general anxiety which your brain then looked deeper into than it should of done causing more anxiety and so on into a never ending circle.

Go see your doctor and kick and scream I really think you could do with CBT to help you sort out your issues and talk to someone on a professional basis who could really help you.

Its hard to start but the roads well worth walking. If you need to talk about any of this just drop me a PM and I'll help in any way I can.

FAB, sorry - but I have to agree with Shiney - who was giving you good advice. I have said to you before that posting vague "poor me" threads is not helping you one little bit. MN cannot help with this.

If there are specific issues in your life that are causing you anxiety and you want MN advice on them, then you need to namechange and lay it all out there. This "long running problem" and unspecified illnesses mentioned over and over is something is something no-one can help with.

I think you DO like the fuss and the attention, (and I can totally understand that) but other people start to get a bit . What you need is to get off MN, and get out of the house and DO something. Take up walking/running, volunteer for a charity, get a job even!

Stop sitting at home dwelling on things. Everyone gets stressed - it comes with the territory when you have dcs. Yes you had a shit childhood, but that is no reason to let it ruin the rest of your life. You need to DO something.

:(

I have to say I agree too, sorry. I've tried to speak to you on several threads, only for every suggestion and bit of advice and you're so dismissive, it's as if you don't want to do anything about it.

Sorry :(

NNB - no, not being sarcastic at all! I am wondering if what people are meaning by HA is I am worrying about my health more than I need too as there is nothing wrong. I never worried about my health pre children and was rarely at the doctors too.

Of course I want to be well, not a worrier and all happy and not loopy. Not as easy as just wanting it though.

I do want to be normal. I do want to be well. I don't want to feel that people are at me and have had enough. Neither so I want people to think that I don't want or appreciate their advice.

It isn't as easy as just going to the GP. I have tried before and been sent away with nothing. I don't post about that.

I am in need of some TLC as I do feel alone in the world and typing that has brought tears, so yes, I am about that but also scared as I know I haven't faced up to feeling like I am alone here.

I thought my depression was under control .

Just a small voice here to say that actually, removing children from a school that makes them wretched CAN be necessary and not a sign of parental overanxiety. We can't see the whole picture here, Fab, but a new school was exactly the right thing for my very stressed ds last year.

Poor you FAB. I am not aware of your back story, and wouldn't like to label you in any way. I just want to give you a {{{}}} because it sounds like what you really need right now (though the tough love you are getting here also makes sense tbh).

I am a lifelong hypochondriac (not saying you are one too) and certainly know what it is to have anxiety about symptoms. You have to try to rationalise what you feel a bit. EG, last night you had symptoms that scared you relating to your heart. Yet today, here you are, still with us (thankfully). Now doesnt that tell you that, at the very least, whatever you suffered last night was not as serious as it appeared to be at the time? If you can think yourself into a panic, you can think yourself out of one too. Also, if your GP has sent you away with nothing before, it is possible this means there was nothing serious wrong with you. I know you say previous doctors have let you down in the past - I have experienced that on a major level too and my trust in doctors is reduced - but, possibly, this doctor was a good one and could see your symptoms were nothing to worry about.

I found a good GP this spring who took weeks to go through all my symptoms with me, did all the tests, and eventually convinced me that I was not dying of one thing, but actually had something else - quite trivial, and definitely related to psychology rather than physiology. Since then, my symptoms have decreased.

Oh I am rambling on now. I really just wanted to give you the hug and say I sort of understood where you are coming from when it comes to worrying about symptoms.

If you do a search on the threads you've started in the last year or so, I think it'll give you an idea of why posters are thinking HA

I don't think anybody thinks you are imagining symptoms, or exaggerating them. BUt clearly you react in quite a physical way to stress/anxiety/low mood

There is an undoubted link there - so until the underlying stuff is examined and worked through, there is unlikely to be change in your physical state

I think I advised you in the past to speak to your old NHS psychiatrist and ask for a referral to a decent and reputable therapist

You know what to do. You've just got to get the ball rolling

You do have problems that need addressing Fab, and you need help for those.

You seem to keep going on about this problem that has been ongoing for years but want to keep it a secret - it's as though you WANT us all to ask what it is but not tell us, as if its some sort of game. Namechange and post about it, you may get some sound help and advice.

You have had a time and that must be awful to deal with, but you need to deal with it however you can because it is ruining your life - get some help for it and don't stop asking until you get it. You obviously had a bad childhood, you are not happy in your marriage (no matter how often you convince yourself you are, you are still in love with your ex) and it is making your life a misery. You can change it you know, you just need the confidence to do that. I personally think that these issues are causing your depression and the sooner you get help with them the quicker you will feel better.

I have never seen a psychiatrist.

I don't want people to ask what the big issue is as I can't say, I would if I could. I can't namechange and do as people always know it is me. People have dropped me once they know about it so I am sure you understand why I am too scared to post about it on here.

I am leaving to see the nurse in 10 minutes.

Ok, am going to bow out now because it feels like it's going round in circles again

I am pretty definite that I have spoken to you about the route to finding a decent therapist before . You mentioned seeing a psych in the past

I wish you luck

You repied to me earlier saying your DH was askedto phone dr - is there a reason why you cant doit. DH said you need to get your hr up? not sure what he meant by that?

Everyone has difficult situations and we all cope differently, but your way of managing clearly isnt working just now and some help might be beneficial.

I know everyone saying thistoo you is hard to hear, but almost a year ago I was ill with chest pain and a cough. Some GPs wereunhelpful others concerned and I was sent straight to hosp from GP on a few occasions. I wanted to ignore what was going on as was worried about job, thought would get sacked etc. Many posters on here spoke to me in an honest, frank an almost harsh manner - oneof those being scottishmummy. She was quite blunt but it got through to me and I put my health first and went for the appointments they wanted (they thought blood clot/pneumonia at that point) and in fact handed in notice to job! I didnt want to be told to go to hosp, I wanted to forget it. But sometimes people on the outsie can see the bigger picture and that is what scottishmummy and many others could see when they told me straight. I am grateful for that even though at time I fet like they couldnt possibly understand the situation at work and how hard it was to go to hosp. What I am trying to say is do consider what people are saying.

FAB you're going through a lot of stress and thats causing a hell of a lot of strain on your mental health and you're right of course you're body is going to react to it because it needs to let some stress go somewhere but its not healthy for you.

If you're afraid I'll judge you for your big issue you're wrong but I completely understand so I'll just reccomend CBT again you can tell them and work through it and these people will not judge you its their job not to judge you and just maybe if you took the time to work it through with a trained specialist you'd be able to lay the incident to rest and not let it keep dragging you down as it obviously seems to be doing.

I said on the other thread for the sake of your children go to the Doctors and don't leave til you get the help you really need love, I'm worried about you, I recognize myself off my medication in what you're posting and it is a big cry for help. I want to help but I can't you have to do that, go read your other thread in MH again and then make that Drs appointment you promised you would and don't leave til you get some support.

I wanted DH to ring as I was in the shower when the surgery opened and appointments go quickly. DH felt that exercise would do my heart some good.

I have seen the nurse who said my blood pressure and chest were fine. I knew that. And I had to see a doctor so will do that on Monday.

Still in pain.

Have found my CBT for dummies book and will go and read it now.

where is the pain Fab? Glad you got checked - at least you know now that it isn't your chest/blood pressure and will hopefully stop worrying a bit.

You will be feeling run down because you are so stressed, and you will always be stressed until you deal with the 2 issues I think you are struggling most with, its a horrible circle, you have the problems, it stresses you and makes you ill, then you get stressed because you are ill etc and it goes on. It happens to people all the time and it can be awful until you know how to deal with it and change your life so the issues are causing you enough stress to make you ill.

You do sound really down and lonely at the moment and I wish I could help more. No wonder you dont want to post if the last time you did people dropped you. They are not worth having as real friends though if they drop you as soon as you talk about your troubles. Don't waste energy on them. And don't think everyone is like that - people on here will listen. When did you last see anyone dropped because they wanted support? People post on here constantly for support and get it too, MN is mainly full of good people (with a few arses thrown in for good measure) that are always helping people. Maybe its your turn for help now, so think of yourself and ask for it.

The pain is across the top of my back and chest and at times it feels like my chest is in a vice.

I am bottling up because I am too ashamed to talk about it and too scared too. I am not deliberately being a nuisance. I am also worried that other people that are involved would read and recognise themselves.

DH has gone to get the kids and DS1 is watching a film so I am going to mkae some cards. It keeps my mind from thinking and I feel I have achieved something.

It sounds like stress/anxiety to me. When I suffered with it I was getting back/chest pains and was really worried it was something awful - it wasn't, it was just me getting myself into a state without realising. I have got other health problems that do worry me sick but I am trying to manage that and not get myself so worked up about it - I can't change it by being stressed, infact I am probably adding to it so I try my hardest now not to.

I can understand why you are bottling it up, but honestly, it isnt healthy to do that. You can see that and are seeing what it is doing to your health. You don't need to be ashamed of anything, you really don't. I can understand you wanting to stay annonymous though. If it helps at all you can PM anytime, even if you just want to ramble on about things, I will listen and try to help if I can.

Great that you are going to do something to keep busy, that will help. You need to keep yourself busy and not put yourself in a situation where you have too much time to think. When I was at my worst I used to spend all day on my own thinking about the terrible things that were wrong with me and then as soon as anyone came to see me, or DP came home I would just burst into tears.

Thank you RTAC. I appreciate your PM offer but can't do it yet. I hope you are much better now.

FAB - your long standing issue is to do with your childhood experiences isn't it? I am sure you have mentioned that there may be a court case which will involve you. If this is the case, is it definitely happening, or is it still undecided?