**t*a*m*o*x*i*f*e*n** number 14

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we go !

Evening All

Back home again . Very busy day .
Went out with friend for breakfast , went and picked up my new glasses , had a wander around the local small town - was very restrained and bought nothing although was very nearly led astray by a pair of leopard print stilletos in Dune ...

Went to Tesco and bought my first 3 Christmas presants .
Went out for lunch .
Picked up DD from school , wrapped presants for friends sons birthday , was sous chef for friend as she made approx 300 cupcakes for her sons party this weekend .

Going round to friends house again this evening (she is my next door neighbour) to make even more cupcakes and possibly drink lots of wine .

Feel shattered ! Certainly missing having my afternoon nap

kk stop dancing on tables (says the woman who bought toy microphones in Tesco today for me and my friend to use ... )

mas any cake left ?

smee how are you feeling today ?

cakes yippee for getting the work done , spect you are in a drunkan heap under a table by now ...

Hope all you other ladies are doing well today , and the stresses of waiting for appointments and results aren't getting to you too badly .

topsy - 300 cupcakes wow! - you must be shattered (and your friend obv.)

How are the new glasses, what sort of design are they?

Well done on the Christmas presents. I have bought one, - I happened to see something I thought DS's Dp would like when I was on holiday - it's a decorated tile with a dragonfly on it, - she's v. keen on dragonflies. But that is it so far - I'd love to be organised.

Oops pressed too soon - lunch sounds lovely MAS, - hibiscuses (hibisci ?) are very pretty.

MAS, lunch sounds lovely. My toastie sounds a bit lame in comparison. Is there any left?

Pink, a big G'ah to your Onc. Most unlucky that you're stuck with him. Just thinking on your rib pain, I get that too, alongside mild IBS type symptoms. I have been mighty paranoid since diagnosis that it was secondaries, but 2x CT scans said no and it goes when I'm not stressed, so at least it's not cancer. Could yours be similar? Would a glass of tonight help?

Topsy, you're buying Christmas presents?! Heavens a betsy that's a bit impressive. Woman on chemo and still she's ahead of me. I'm good thanks, though I look awful - completely washed out, ache all over and still stuck with drain. That said, there's a bottle of cava chilling for me and DH to celebrate getting to here. I will stay awake long enough to drink some..

Liam Fox has resigned. Well there's a surprise..

pinkstarlight - I have been told that:
It's a small tumour 13mm. that it is well behaved, grade 2.
Result of biopsy is that it's hormone/eostrogen receptive.
To have surgery when they will also remove sentinel LN, although there is no evidence of LN being affected.
I will see surgeon next Thursday, if he cannot feel "It" a wire will be inserted with the aid of radiographer so surgeon will follow down the wire the week or so after.
Now this is what I do not fully understand - why have I already been told that I will have 4 weeks radiotherapy, I thought that was decided post op.
The breast care nurse told me that I do not need info on chemo, unless I want it (as part of the Hand Held Record.

Shitting myself because:
The treatment sounds beyond horrendous and brutal.
The side affects of the Tamoxifen are practically all the things I am currently taking hrt to avoid.
Overwhelming fear of a general anaesthetic.
Lymphthodema and having to give special care to my right arm for the rest of my life, not really compatible with my life style.
The stress of it all, my bp must be sky high.
Just want to leave it and take my chances tbh.
You must think me certifiable.

about time too !
lots of cake left,and creme fraiche...dig in...
I can't possibly think of Christmas presents yet ! I don't have to design my own Christmas card though as I'm buying packs of the ones I designed for The Pink Place charity - that saves me a job !
I'm braving the Build-a-Bear workshop on Monday to buy my niece a bed for her bear.(birthday coming up)

I have only been on hrt for a year, and they do not think that is the cause.

Drift, feeling terrified sounds sane to me and thinking of not doing any of it does too. I'd bet we've all felt that at some point. I know I did, so you're far from certifiable, or if you are, well so am I. Nobody here will tell you what to do, but we can help tell you what side effects you might face if you go ahead. Would that help?

driftwood bless you...me and i suspect everyone on this thread have been where you are now,your mind will be on overdrive and overwhelmed with everything.

good news that you get to avoid chemo,i had my op in august and it was no where near as bad as i feared and im having 3 wks worth of radiotheraphy now its honestly not that bad at all.

was talking to a lady yesterday with a similar diagnosis as you and she was having 5 weeks worth because she had also avoided chemo so i guess thats why your having a month it could so be that over all your having the same as me but at a lower dose and for longer seems like all oncologists have their own ways.

i have had a bit of trouble with my hand swelling but i see it as a small price to pay.

stick with us on here these ladies are fantastic and will help you get through.

i have a tip for anyone who gets stomach ache when it finally turns into a mild dull ache dont do what i did and go on your childs scooter,im now paying the price ..ouch.. my son cried with laughter on the way home from the shop and said "MUM YOUR SUCH A CHILD"

pink

We are going away to stay with friends for a few days from tommorw pm. I will not have access to this. My plan is this:
I have made a appointment to see GP Wednesday, prior to seeing surgeon on Thursday.
Will ask GP how to broach subject of not wanting surgery to surgeon (after I have the information from the surgeon)
I want to know if I will be offered any other treatment, or will they "wash their hands of me" ? Anyone done this?

Phew, what a relief to have found you all again!!! I'd been catching up with all your posts at the rads clinic earlier on my phone and, when I logged in on the lappy, couldn't find the thread at all. After a bit of detective work (must have clicked on the option to hide thread) I'm back.

Hello to Driftwood (did we just say hello on FB?). I agree with the other ladies, we've probably all been where you're at right now - emotion wise. I know I have. I think the treatment plans always sound horrendous but I had chemo first (not a walk in the park, but doable), then a mx (not half as bad as I thought it was going to be) and have just 3 more radiotherapy sessions without any side effects so far (touching wood, as I type).

Pink, am horrified by the attitude of the senior radiologist. How very dare she? Definitely deserves a kick in the shins.

Cakes, glad you're finished. I hope you can relax now and enjoy the weekend.

Smee, hopefully drains will come out at the weekend. Well done your DH on his trip to the hospital for you. Enjoy your cava tonight.

Phew, Topsy you've been a busy bee. I love the sound of those microphones. and the cupcakes of course. Have a great time tonight with your neighbour.

MAS, lunch sounds a great success. Left-overs? Any cake?

Rads went ok again. Had an appointment after with the nurse (didn't realise) and she inspected my scar/skin and declared I'm holding up well. Haven't got cording thank goodness. The swelling along my scar is an inflammation caused by the radiotherapy. Nothing can be done about it, but it will go down when treatment finishes. Apparently the radiation stays in your body for up to 6-8 weeks after treatment ends and SEs can occur any time till then so I shouldn't be too complacent. Also, tiredness can intensify 2 weeks after treatment ends but I'm so knackered now, I will be comatose if it gets any worse. She's given me a bag of dressings (just in case) along with a pack of gel patches that go in the fridge in case of hot patches. They might come in handy.

Waves to anyone I've missed - the thread's moving so fast I can't catch up. Sorry.

It wasn't till I thought you'd all disappeared from Mumsnet that I fully realised how much I love being part of this thread and joining in with all your banter and how much I rely on all your support. Thanks and love to you all xx

Sorry to hear you are under such stress at the moment -good idea to see your GP.

How about ringing one of the helplines in the meantime - the breast care nurse or one of the charities. You'll have a sympathetic hearing and you can be honest about your worries and they'll have lots of experience to tell you your full range of options.

Breast Cancer Care's number is 0808 800 6000
Monday - Friday, 9am-5pm
Saturday, 9am-2pm

So you could ring in the morning and talk it through.

Drift, I doubt they'd wash their hands of you. I know of women who have said no to chemo, but not to surgery iyswim. I know it's really none of my business at all and feel mighty fine about telling me to stuff off, but all I can think is that if you have cancer in your breast, well it will just simply grow if left. I know you know that, but it's a hard one to escape from. Have a good few days away - good friends sound like a very good idea to be with.

Waving to Figgy. Glad Rads are going okay. Bit of luck you won't get any side effects.

smee-I'm inviting people to have an opinion, so bless you and thank you, please say what you like to me. Thing is I don't believe all cancers grow and are problematic, that's my dilemma.

Okay, well then I get why you feel like you do. I know some cancers don't grow or are so slow growing that they're not a huge problem. I suppose all you can do is to test your belief by talking to the GP, Oncs, as they know more about your particular tumour, then see if you're happy to stick as is. I really do wish you well with it all. Keep talking if it helps x

Drift, good advice from Dee to ring the Breast Cancer Care nurses tomorrow morning for advice. I'm not sure I'd have been brave enough not to have had all the treatment because, no matter how awful parts of it were, it was doable and the treatment was over in the space of a few months (chemo in Feb finished June, mx in August, rads started October and finished October) and I had faith in my surgeon and oncologist to treat me to the best of their ability. But obviously everyone has different views and only you can ultimately decide your treatment.

Driftwood - I think a few days away is just what you need, time to reflect and talk things over with friends.

Ultimately what treatment you choose to have is entirely up to you, no one can force you to do anything you don't want to, and the medics will not wash their hands of you, whatever you choose. The main thing is that your choice is an informed one, and you ask every question you can and discuss all your worries and thoughts with the relevant people.

I have to be honest, like Smee I would not have chosen to refuse surgery, I believe a cancer left will almost certainly grow and spread. I know you are having a dilemma, and ultimately you make the choice that is right for you, but I wouldn't feel right if I didn't let you know my honest opinion.
But bless you whatever you decide, - I know this is such a difficult time for you xx

Figgy it is lovely to see you as always, well done - you are nearly at the end of rads now, I hope the side effects hold off and you don't get too shattered. Hope the boys are well

Driftwood you mustn't refuse surgery! If you do your tumour will grow and it will kill you however 'well-behaved' it is now.I am sorry if I sound brutal but as things are you have an excellent chance if you have surgery and rads.I have seen so many lovely,strong brave women die because their tumour had spread when it was found.Yours hasn't.remember we have all been where you are and felt alone and terrified.Everyone here will be with you and will help you through.At the moment you are in a position where you can kick your cancer into touch-please dont let it get a hold.
Ultimately it is your body,your decision but I would be letting you [and all of us] down if I didnt 'tell it like it is'.Good luck.

Drift, I know this scarey - we've all had those negative emotions. What buoys me up is hearing the docs say how treatable breast cancer is these days, with lots of positive, happy outcomes, and the majority of women walking free of the disease.

Yes, there are downsides to the treatment but to my mind that is a small price to pay for a potential (and very often realistic) cure. I'm sure all your friends and family are desperate to walk through this with you and see you healthy at the end.

You need to gather the facts and try and take the emotion and fear out of the equation (I know, can be easier said than done ), but then you can make a rational decision in your own best interests.

Thinking of you.

drift really really do think you should go with surgery - even small well behaved cancer can grow and spread - I relly do think this should be something you definitely do - sorry to sound bossy, but you would be a fool not to get it cut out of your body. If you do one thing,treatment wise, do that. It is completely doable and you will get through it. Please. Huge hugs to you.
And figgy- that;s a really lovely thing to say

drift enjoy your days away. Mine was a very similar tumour and I have had the op. I would not have been happy to have left it. 6 weeks on I am pleased with the results and I have met a number of older ladies who have had this op several years ago and you would never know. (My neighbour flashed her boobs at me when I told her my dx!)

I am more ambivalent about tamoxifen and could maybe understand if you do your research and make a decision against it based on your particular circumstances. (Have a friend who reads more new scientist than strictly necessary who doesn't like me taking it)

Lymphoedema is unlikely with a sentinel node biopsy as only one or two nodes are taken - ask your surgeon about the statistics.

I know that lymphoedema is a pig - My Mum gets the Lyphoedema association magazine as she had it in her legs after a varicose vein op. However, she did get very good results from about a month of manual lymphatic drainage several years ago and it has been kept under control since.