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**t*a*m*o*x*i*f*e*n** number 14

985 replies

MaryAnnSingleton · 05/10/2011 18:19

here we go !

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DeeScent · 12/10/2011 22:17

Driftwood, hello there, glad you found the thread and welcome. Sorry to hear you're suffering - the tension while you wait is pretty terrible, isn't it? Hope you've got some RL support on going.

That was me two weeks ago too. Now I'm having an op on Tuesday. Yes, it's been a horrendous shock, but actually part of me is so pleased the docs have caught it on a routine screening. I've no symptoms so I feel very fortunate to have it picked up and dealt with.

I hope you get the all clear. But if you don't, at least you can soon be on the road to recovery. Last Monday I was told I had cancer but on Tuesday evening next week, I won't have it anymore.

Stick around, I'm sure the other ladies will give you loads of support. Thinking of you tomorrow.

topsyturner · 12/10/2011 22:24

Hi drift , glad you made it over here . Although not happy you had to if you get my meaning ?
Wishing you all the positivity in the world for tomorrow . Have you got someone going with you ? Sometimes it's good to have someone to ask the questions you might forget about . Or even write down your queries beforehand and take a list with you , the docs won't mind I promise you .

Come back on when you get a chance and let us know how you get on , when you are feeling up to it .
And remember , whatever the diagnosis , you can deal with it !

KurriKurri · 12/10/2011 22:35

Hello Driftwood, so sorry you find yourself in this position, but I'm glad you found us and hope we can be of some support for you Smile

Loads of luck for your results tomorrow, there should be a breast care nurse on hand to talk through your results with you and offer you some support. I hope very much you get the all clear, but if not, there are plenty of us on here who have been through the same thing - I was DX 3 years ago, and am still here to tell the tale - and we have new ladies at a similar stage to you, - so they will know exactly how you are feeling.

let us know how you get on, and ask any questions you want - nothing is off limits here. Will be thinking of you tomorrow Smile

MaryAnnSingleton · 12/10/2011 23:15

hello too from me driftwood-was wondering about you -lots of good luck for tomorrow- will be thinking of you and hoping for a good result-as the others have said if it is not good news then we're here to support you.
topsy-I watched the Tracey Emin too- I do like her-the Hayward exhibition was very revealing.

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Iamseeingstars · 13/10/2011 07:03

Hi Driftwood and Descent. Hope everything goes ok for you both. It is so hard when you get a diagnosis and both are getting treatment and assessments very quickly.
These threads make you realise that life goes on and people still lead "normal" lives. That has been my biggest barrier and my life is on hold, but the very lovely people on here have really opened my eyes to things can still be normal.
I have become a hermit and know I need to break this mould very soon for my families sake but I am scared of leaving the house in case I collapse or go dizzy or am sick, yet I know it is mind of matter and can do it.

I love reading the "normal things" that everyone on here does

Hugs to you and everyone else

janechocchip · 13/10/2011 07:31

Hi to Driftwood and good luck with your results today. Do let us know how you get on. I got my dx in August and had a lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy on 1st September and I am feeling fine now. Just 4 weeks of radiotherapy to get through now.

Morning Stars. Don't be too hard on yourself. Set youself a very tiny goal like walking to the end of the garden or street and then go back inside and have a Brew. It can be really hard going outside after being stuck inside for a while.

Have had my furry alarm call today. He has had his breakfast and I have let him out (explained to him that he was not allowed to get locked in Guy's garage today)

Have you seen the new emots? [hsmile]

MaryAnnSingleton · 13/10/2011 07:37

Iamseeingstars it must be very frightening for you- the fear of something happening when you go out. Am trying to think of useful things to say that might help. How likely is it that you might be dizzy/sick ? Often the anticipation that things might happen is a whole lot worse than actually doing it -it's just breaking through the mental barriers-easily said I know.
driftwood will be thinking of you today x

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janechocchip · 13/10/2011 07:43

topsy well done on the insurance and [:)] at you being half cat and sharing the name ! He has come back in from 'wetworld' and shaken water all over me. Happy to be home :)

janechocchip · 13/10/2011 07:45

morning MAS time for a Brew?

topsyturner · 13/10/2011 07:54

stars have you got a sympathetic friend that could be with you whilst you try very short trips ? I know when I had my surgery and when I have my chemo , I need someone with me . I get very dizzy and short of breath . Have you spoken to your GP re getting anti depressants ? I am not a drug pusher by any means , but in these situations they have been a life saver to me . They are not magic happy pills , but they keep my brain on a more even keel so I can concentrate on other battles .

jane I have always felt a kinship with the feline community Grin and am definitely leading a cat life at the mo . Eating , sleeping and the occaisional wash !

What's the plans for today ?
Good luck to deescent and driftwood .
Me ? Prob a bit of sleeping , eating , chasing my own tail ... Grin

janechocchip · 13/10/2011 08:46

[hwink] may look for my smear letter today any do some filing. Stroke cat, maybe a swim later, a very little tidying up and meet my friend in the pub for an hour. (It is Thursday after all!) Thursday means dd1 may cook tea but her bf said something about them going out... [hshock] :)

topsyturner · 13/10/2011 09:29

[hgrin]

Oooh I like these .
Pub is a very good idea jane , Thursday is after all the start of the weekend ...

cakesandale · 13/10/2011 09:45

Morning all!

Welcome to Driftwood - I am sending positive thoughts and willing it all to be OK, but come back and join us here whatever the outcome. We are quite good fun, as well as knowing a bit about how you feel through all of this. The rabbit in the headlights thing sounds very familiar... Sad

Seeingstars - it must be really tough for you. i second what others have said: tiny steps in trusted company could help you make a start. And you will feel a little bit better if you can get yourself less isolated. No lectures from me though, I know it is unimaginably tough. Sad x

Sorry I didn't watch Tracy Emin now, I let my prejudices get the better of me, I usually like that programme.

love to all, I'll be back when I've done something that pays the billls!

DeeScent · 13/10/2011 09:56

Driftwood, I hope the result turns out well for you, there's a chance it will. If not, you will gradually come to terms with it and step by step people will support you through everything that needs to be done. Hope to hear from you later.

Ladies, I realise I don't know about how long the gap is between surgery and rads. " weeks gap for the sentinel result, then what?

cakesandale · 13/10/2011 10:24

Sorry Dee - not sure, I had to have chemo first Sad

janechocchip · 13/10/2011 10:32

nearly 2 months between surgery and rads for me. 2 weeks for path results, 2 weeks after that saw oncologist, then rads planning this week and start rads in 2 weeks. Could be shorter though. Lady on ward with me is ahead of me. There is usually a gap between rads planning scan and start of rads for them to do lots of calculations and set the rads up aparently. Depends on individual path results whether you get tamoxifen, herceptin etc.

Watching Tracey Emin on iplayer at mo. Cat very clingy, watched me having a shower this morning! [hwink]

KurriKurri · 13/10/2011 10:37

Look at all you early birds showing off that you can get up in the mornings Grin

(suddenly realises how ancient she is, now she doesn't have to get kids up for school)

jane I'm glad cat is back to normal, - and probably behaving as if he hadn't caused everyone a load of anxiety!- at least you'll know the first place to look if he goes walkabout again.

Stars - I second what everyone else has said, a serious illness, and everything that comes with it, can be a massive knock to your confidence. You lose trust in your body, because frankly it has let you down, and you're not sure what it may trick you with next.

Is there anyone who could keep you company on a little walk somewhere, it needn't be far, just a breath of fresh air I find that can clear my head better than anything.

And definitely don't be down on yourself, all your reactions are completely normal given your circumstances. I was similar to you, couldn't do anything to start with - I just sort of seized up, and it was before treatment started, so I wasn't feeling ill.

The counsellor I was seeing told me that human reactions to fear and danger are fight and flight, which we all know about, but also 'freeze'. So you become unable to do anything. I do think it is worth talking to the professionals about, but in my case I found little steps was the way forward. Doing one small thing each day I enjoyed, even if its just a crossword puzzle, or a book. And gradually increasing what I did. Not easy if you are feeling poorly, but its all about trying to relax and deal with each day at a time, it doesn't have to be energetic.

Sorry that was rather a long ramble - well done if you got to the end Smile

Hello to everyone else, loads of good thoughts to Driftwood. Dee - not sure about the gap, because I had chemo in between, but I would imagine a few weeks to let your wound heal, because the rads can make your skin sore.

Oh well, suppose I'd better clean out topsy's litter tray if no one else is going to do it..... [hwink]

topsyturner · 13/10/2011 10:42

kk - what you said about "losing trust in your body" really struck a chord with me . That is exactly the right phrase . Hmm very thought provoking .

< kicks a little extra cat litter onto the floor so kk doesn't feel her duties are too easy >

cakesandale · 13/10/2011 10:47

[hgrin]

MaryAnnSingleton · 13/10/2011 11:05

aw,I missed jane's Brew offer...am trying to decide whether to do some work first,then go shopping for lunch stuff for tomorrow or make cake for tomorrow,or wait until washing is finished -

All I can remember about the gap between surgery and rads is that my operation was in May and rads at very end of June and into July. I think.

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MaryAnnSingleton · 13/10/2011 11:07

topsy's litter tray has reminded me of this...
double trouble

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janechocchip · 13/10/2011 11:20

lol mas. I posted that to my fb page on Sunday before I knew cat was missing!

MaryAnnSingleton · 13/10/2011 11:24

ooh,you're on fb too ? we have a tamoxifen group on there (Cakes,topsy,smee amber and figgy) Can we be friends ?

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MaryAnnSingleton · 13/10/2011 11:26

hope this works

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janechocchip · 13/10/2011 11:30

yes. I'd like that :) I'm just off out to meet someone for lunch. See you later...

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