Not going to the loo all day

[readsalotgirl]

Hi
I'm concerned about my elderly mother and her toilet habits (sorry). She is in her 80's and for several years has kept a bucket next her bed to use in the night. She also wears Tena pads during the day. I assumed these were to cope with any dribbles in case she didn't make it too the loo in time. However I recently spent a whole day with her ( 10 am - 11pm)and she did not go to the loo at all during the day. She did go to the toilet before going to bed that night (at about 11pm). She clearly had used the bucket during the night but the bed was wet also - and not just a bit of a dribble whilst getting out to use the bucket. I can't understand how/why she doesn't feel the need to go during the day but does at night. I also think this can't be either right or good for her . I'm also not sure how to tackle the whole situation and would welcome any advice. Posted on here as I think there may be more traffic than on the elderly parents topic.

So do you think during the day she wets the pads rather than going to the loo? Or you think she's just not weeing all day? How much did she drink whilst you were with her and does she have a physical problem which might stop her getting on/off the loo?

Have to say I'm not entirely sure - I suspect she wets the pads because she finds getting to the loo difficult (she has sight and mobility problems as well) but I asked her several times if she wanted to go and she said no. She didn't drink much during the day, maybe 4 cups of tea, and I know she is restricting her fluid intake in the evening as she thinks this will help.

It sounds like she needs to have an assessment done to see what help she needs/can be offered at home (i.e rails in the bathroom, raised loo seat, a proper commode rather than a bucket etc etc). I really think it would be worth you speaking to her GP about that because there is help available. It's really not good for her to be restricting her fluid intake.

I hope someone comes along who can offer you some proper advice.

Not an expert but it sounds as if she has incontinence issues and gets through the day by not drinking much- which is not good for her.

Most towns have a continence clinic- try the phone book or ask drs and they might be able to send a nurse etc to talk to her.

I think i read somehwere that in old age the kidneys speed up overnight, whereas in younger people they slow down- which could also explain why she wets the bed.

Thanks for the replies. Mum is moving much nearer to me this weekend - currently she is 150 miles away so it will be easier for me to take her to the GP and arrange input from District nurses. I have spoken to the "new" doctors surgery but they can't do anything till she's registered and they have her paperwork. She was referred by her "old" GP to the Community older peoples team and was offered a visit from the incontinence nurse which she refused - I suspect she was embarrassed. I am hopeful I can arrange a visit in the new place by not mentioning the "I" word. I am concerned about her restricting her fluid intake and wondering if there is a medical/physical cause of the not going but I haven't been able to find anything. thanks again