there is an alien about to burst out of my perineum.

[crispface]

the perineum is the bit between my arsehole and my vag right? Assuming that it is, there is a big bulge to the right hand side of my perineum.

It is about the size of a marble, and protrudes about as much as a marble (a normal sized one).

it hurts to press, a bit like a bruise, and the whole area around it is a bit red and itchy, though that could be non-related.

wtf is it? am i growing bollocks?

Ingrowing hair?

Thread title of the week BTW.

Ouch, poor you. Sounds a bit like a cyst or boil. Try not to squeeze it, you might need antibiotics.

Might be a blocked gland. If it's red and sore as well I'd get seen by GP/A&E as could need draining esp if infected. Are you feeling unwell, or have a temp?

bartholin cyst? get thee to GP for check up just to sure.

it is still here, getting smaller and less painful - am waiting it out as it is not causing me any bother. No temp, no fever, no general illness, possibly just a boily thing

thanks all.

Bartholin cyst more than likely. if it comes back, it can be drained. Excellent title.

I've had something that sounds very similar - first noticed it about 10 yrs ago - got maddeningly itchy, then really sore like sandpaper and looked size of a pea. Lasted about 3-4 days then disappeared. Since then it comes up every few months but now gets much larger - I had it checked by a gynae who said he thought it was a blocked sebaceous gland and no need to worry but he could remove it when it was next inflamed if it really bothered me. I didn't have it done even though it's infuriating - just get it every few months now. Weird.

sounds like a blocked sebaceous gland/sebaceous cyst. You can have them removed but there really isn't any point unless you are really bothered by it.

You tube Sebaceous Cyst and see how much mess they make :o

oh god NO! i would throw up or pass out! I shall take your word for it. Has totally gone now!! how bizarre.