still worried after gp visit, health anxiety has gone mad!

[kaylasmum]

i posted earlier today about my concerns that i might have anal cancer. Saw my gp who gave me an internal examination and she told me she thinks i have a small thrombosed internal pile. I can't get it out of my head that its anal cancer. I always thought that it was only external piles that could become thrombosed and this lump is very small.

i'm a complete mess right now, can't eat, have a sore head and neck and generaly feel awful. I'm being referred back to cbt as things are getting out of control.

sorry for being so needy but i'm still really worried. Anyone else been through this?

I've been through health anxiety...the trick is focussing on dealing with the anxiety, and not the 'health problem', as much as possible. I hope you get your CBT apt. soon - meantime, you have 'logged' your anal worry with your GP so you could always make a plan (plans help, I find) to go back to GP in a week's time, to check the lump hasn't got any bigger.
Seriously, internal piles can become thrombosed and its far, far more likely than anal cancer.
Any clues as to what could have re-triggered your health anxiety, other than the pile/lump?

hi elibean, thanks for your reply. I just feel it helps to talk to people.

My gp said to go back in 2/3 weeks so i'll probably wait a while. I'm still in a high state of anxiety. When my gp examined me she did'nt feel it at first until i told her where it was. She said that its very small and smooth. She said she was'nt worried about it. She also said she'd only ever diagnosed about 2 cases of anal cancer in all the years she's worked as a gp, about 30 years. I'm trying to use this information to kep things in perspective.

I keep getting waves of dread and panic. I have'nt been eating well this last week and a half and i've lost about 4 pounds or so and i'm trying not to think that its because of something sinister.

I really don't knowhats brought y anxiety back but its hell on earth. Sorry about all the mistakes, hands are a bit shaky

Hi again.
I replied to your post yesterday.
I'm worried now about my health but at the moment it is not as bad as it was last autumn. I had symptoms similar to a small stroke but my GP kept on telling me he was 90% sure it was just a migraine attack. He refered me for a brain scan but while waiting for this I got in such a state. I felt like there was electricity running through my head and body. I constantly felt dizzy and tired. And I lost a lot of weight. All these things made me so sure something sinister was going on. I really felt ill and I couldn't even cope looking after the children. Not until after I had had the scan and it was clear and after being on Citalopram for a while did I start to feel better. Almost went back to normal within a week or two.
What my point is that it is so easy to get panicky and feel things that aren't even there. It is so easy to convince yourself that there is something seriously wrong and when you do panic you do feel dizzy and nauseus and go off your food.
I think you are just going to have to try and trust your GP. Leave it for a couple of weeks and then go back.
Have you ever tried anti depressants? I was on Citalopram for a few months and it really helped me. I still worried a bit but I didn't get to carried away with it.

hi catx2, sorry did'nt reply sooner, been working.

I've been on citalopram for the last 7 years. I take 40mg. I really thought i was doing good after my cbt a year and a half ago but it seems to have come back full force.

Do you find it hard to trust what the doctors say too? I find myself analysing everything thats been said to me and imagining that the gp is just saying what i want to hear. I just keep thinkimg they are making mistakes.

I hope you manage to get your health worries sorted out soon. Living in fear is a total nightmare.

You obviously do not trust your Gp very much Perhaps you could change? Getting into such a state cannot be good for you P

Yes I fined it hard to trust my GP. Don't know why because I've had the same GP for 12 years and so far he has been right with everything including children and husbands health.
I havbe actually managed to get an app this morning with GP. Feeling really nervous.
Sorry to hear the Citalopram isn't helping you? What is cbt? Is it counselling? maybe that would help you.
I had a telephone interview with healthy minds a few months ago but they didn't think I was "bad" enough to qualify for there help.

putthatbookdownnow - changing my gp would'nt make any difference, i could see 5 different gps and most likely still feel the same. I know that its not good for me thats why i'm going back for cbt. I don't like feeling like this.

hi catx2, i have my gp for the last 20 years although i don't always get to see her, but thankfully she was the one i got the other day. Cbt is cognitive behavioural therapy, i finished my treatment a year and a half ago and was doing really well. It helps you to rationalise and put things in perspective. You should ask your gp to be referred.

Good luck with your appointments, i would say try not too worry but i knnow thats pointless. Please let me know how you get on.

Hi.
Just got back. GP doesn't seem overly concerned but was very understanding and asked lots of questions.
He has given me some new tablets. They are an anti-depressant but often used to treat pain associated with IBS. I immediately started googling these. They are called Surmontil. Now I'm not so sure I want to take them. Didn't like how I first felt on Citalopram and when I was finished taking it.
Anyway he said I should try these and see him again in 2 weeks. If there is no improvement he said he would refer me to the hospital. That makes me a bit worried but it is good because I want to know for sure what is going on.
How are you doing now?

hi, glad you're appointment Went well.

You should give the tablets a try, hopefully they will help. I went through a really bad time 6 years ago not long after my dd was born. At that time i was convinced i had bowel cancer because my bowel movements were really mixed up. Saw 5 different gps within the space of 2 weeks, they all said the same thing, ibs and post natal depression. Thats when i started on the citalopram and to begin with it messed up my stomach even more but settled down within a month or so.

I'm still feeling pretty edgy, with moments of panic and the occasional calm spell. Why can't i just believe that its just a pile? Soo tired with this anxiety.

Thanks again kaylasmum. Think I will give them a go.
Like you I feel exhausted with the worrying.
I hope you will feel better soon and your pile turns out ok.
Off out now for a meal out to try and cheer up a bit.
If you want to speak again I will be here.
All the best.