New thread for those having/had posterior or anterior repairs, TVT, rectocele and all the other down below stitchups

[MissingMySleep]

Hello ladies, I hope you find this, I don't want to lose my pre-op and post-op buddies!!

Hi everyone!

Awww so sorry to hear some of you are having a hard time.. its grotty isnt it.. Blue hope you feel better soon, that sounds rough on you on top of everything.. Missing lovely to hear from you again and glad you are back to normal almost, thanks for the update, glad you got some action even if it was a bit sore, I know what you mean about being tired, I am the magic 6 weeks tomorrow and nowhere near back to normal and still get so tired! Keep falling alseep on sofa at about 8-9pm which is a pain as it usually means I cant get back to sleep again when I wake up and go to bed.. also sorry to hear about your job, I lost my job end March and can't believe its been two and a half months since I worked, the days fly past and it has been nice being home after 10 years full time. Been looking but would like a little longer if I can manage it financially (doubtful). And I am just the same re worrying I have messed up my repairs, I did hoover for the first time last week cos couldnt stand the mess any longer, then was constipated for 2 days after and convinced myself I was back to square 1! Luckily its ok again now, but I do know what you mean!
Welcome kopgirl, I don't know about anal pressure but I sure have terrible piles if thats the same thing.. and it seems worse too than before which worries me, sorry about your fluid retention too. I also lost a big blue stitch very soon after my op and I think its all ok regardless, its the only stitch I have seen so far.
Sorry to jewel and all others with PMT and painful periods, so glad I dont have that anymore! :)
Well I am fine, getting ready for my hols which is a week today, very excited but quite nervous too as I dont feel as good as I would like but hope I will be ok when I get there, its a quiet resort so just will be sitting in the sun and eating lots as we are AI, few drinks at night then prolly bed early, no mad partying this time!

Woke up friday night in the middle of the night in agony with a feeling of fire going right up the vajazzle both sides where the stiches are and right across my abdomen, took my breath away and couldnt move at first. Took painkillers once I struggled downstairs and it eased off.. Terrified of my infection returning, keep thinking it has but then there is no smell and the pains come and go, tried to get the metro gel I was prescribed which you squirt up but it has been discontinued apparently which is rubbish

I have noticed that when I get stressed/anxious the pain gets worse, got like it yesterday cos I worked on a job app for 4 hours online and when I clicked save it had logged me out and I lost the lot! Deadline was today and I just couldnt face starting again! Just had to leave it, the pain in my tummy got real bad cos I was so aggrieved.

Rect sorry you have been feeling low too, I felt like that last week too when I couldnt go for 2 days, just sitting there in pain for 20 mins, think my diet was a bit poor and that caused it, have increased the fibre again and it seems ok now, but yes its horrible. I am sure your hubby doesnt mind, I dont have anyone to moan at, just my 15 yr old DD but if I did I am sure I would!! Go easy on yourself xoxo

Keep your chins up ladies, sorry this is soooo long!

Footle the dryer was in reference to what "normal" might be. For me as I don't know how to determine normal in my case, I will just accept it as a setting on the dryer.
I will have to tell my husband we are soul mates for the very reason you gave, he will get a kick out of that. Lol..
I can call my drs office, his nurse Kathy handles these calls. If she feels it is a problem she will tell me what to do. My dr is away for a couple of weeks, so I will have to wait or put my trust in someone else. I think the feeling of needing to splint comes from the fact that I am confused about what I as like 7 years ago before all this rectocele stuff started. I think I want to splint because I am not convinced that my bowels will work. I had another painful BM today and it is just so slow because of my period. I start to panic thinking I have to get it out or it will wreck something. I managed without splinting so far. I am eating lots of fiber, I could probably drink more water and I still take softeners, so I believe this is just my stubborn period bowel acting up, my normal bowel should show up in a couple of days. If it does come back to normal, then I need to be better prepared for my periods.
Flowers I feel guilty for complaining about my measly little troubles when you are having to recover under the circumstances that you do and are handling it wonderfully. I think you are likely quite stressed and having tummy difficulties because of it. I wish I could advise, but I don't practice anything that pertains to good stress relief. I hope you have a restful holiday though and that helps you feel better and forget some stresses and helps you to heal.
I am off to lay down now before Em gets home and I have to make dinner. The way I feel I will need an hour nap to get through that.
Good evening everyone. Thanks for all the kind words and support. Makes me

Hey all I did it I changed my nickname, I feel now that I am all fixed up, I need to be more positive about that and stop being negative with a name that clearly indicates the past at this point. So now I present the new me.

Oh sorry it was Rect BTW

Ohh likeavirgin i am pmsl at your new nickname!! It suits you!! Sooo funny! Lets raise a glass to when you lose it again eh ;)

Flowers, indeed we will celebrate losing it for the second time. Maybe I should have changed my name to Mary? Mmmm. haha to all.
So I am still struggling through my period today. I am tired of feeling sore I guess, it makes me cranky. I hope tomorrow is better. I am making dinner right now and instead of making something simple I go all out and make baked ham, homemade baked beans, scalloped potatoes, spinach salad, and cauliflower. When I should have just put a frozen pizza in the oven. I am hoping I can fight through the discomfort, but standing up cooking just makes my insides feel like are going to fall out. I think I waqs trying to get more fiber in my diet, so that is why I went with this menu plan, let's hope it helps the Bms. I am in bed hubby is watching dinner till it's done and I am having a rest till supper. I still feel like crying, but trying to ignore that and just get through this. Well thansk again for listening ladies. Good night!

Hey footle.. Thanks for that and yes it will be good to de-stress a bit after all that has gone on and hoping that good dose of sun will do just that. Hope youre ok too xoxn

Hi Dawn, re the slow wee, I was told to expect that, its a common thing with TVT and won't change.

re the pain, it had eased off slowly week by week but is back now suddenly, just along the lines of where the TVT is, and also down below where I imagine the curvy bit of TVT is that supports whatever it supports. I am going to pace myself today and if today is better than yesterday I will know what ever it is is healing/going and calm down. If today is as bad as yesterday then its off to the doc I guess. Also TVT was working - I have been a mad knicker sniffer since having the ops - checking for wee all the time just in case it didnt work. So I am sure it worked but this last few days, along with the pain has been some dribbling .Noooooo!!!! I am, as you can imagine, desperately hoping the dribbling and the pain are tied up and will both disappear as quickly as they arrived. Am terrified.

Kopgirl, I have had the same ops and am coming up to 12 weeks. I am back at work and wish I wasn't. I still have to take it easy and still get pains. I think your doc has given you good advice, and if you can stay of for 3 months, then do. Whatever you do, make sure you rest and take it easy for the first 6 weeks at least.

Re PMS oh yes, I turn into a nasty mean old woman, no idea how the DH or kids put up with me. As soon as I come on then its like a sigh of relief, ahh that's better and I am nice again.

Footle that is really interesting the pains being nerves healing. That is what I have had, sudden intense pain here or there for all these weeks, gradually decreasing in severity and frequency over the 11 weeks. Not yet gone but much less now than it was at say 6 weeks.

Re sleeping, to start I could only sleep on my back so had to use a combination of pillows to stop me turning over in my sleep. Eventually (months) I could sleep on my left side. I still cant sleep on my right side without getting pain where the TVT is, after less than a minute. It's possible that my current pains are from sleeping on my side by accident. I have just rigged up the pillows again so maybe that will sort things over a few days.

Dawn am loving the new name!! Sorry to hear you are feeling so low, just a few more days, and out the other side of this period and you will feel so much better!

Flowers I hope you are feeling a bit better.

Thanks for all the support re the work stuff, you're all right, sometimes the money isn't enough to stay somewhere and be unhappy. It's stressful though, even tho I am sure leaving is the right thing to do, DH gets out of the army after 22 yrs in August, so come Sept we will both be out of a job argh...! Scary.

sorry for long post! xxx

Missing that is terrible about the TVT. I think I am more fortunate than you as I have not had the pain you have and so far no unexpected weeing. I also do have times where the weeing is not so slow, I am almost normal there. I sure hope the pain subsides and with that, everything works again like it's supposed to.
In regards to your job, I don't know what the employment situation is like in the England, but here in Alberta, there aer jobs out there if you want them. If that is the case there, is it possible for you to search for other work without quitting your job and then when you find one, just give you notice. I have been through real hard financial times and my husband and I both were jobless for a stint three years ago. He and i worked for the same company and I was being sexually harrassed by an employee there. He would stalk me out in the parking lot, phone me 6 ties a day at home. He grabbed my but and crouch. It was brutal, he even propositioned me for sex. It went on for 9 months. I reported this to my supervisor several times, yet she would do nothing about it. My husband got upset and demanded that something get done. Three days later we were both fired. We launched a human rights complaint and it cost the company $5000. Needless to say though, we were unemployed. After the investigation of the coworkers misconduct he was found to be guilty and then he was also let go. We never got our jobs back. I ended up selling homemade soap and body butters at farmer's markets to make money, I did that for 6 months. I did odd photography jobs and painted houses. We are doing much better now though. Good luck with whatever decision you make. I really hope you feel better soon and start getting some well deserved rest. [smilel]

wow that must have been a tough time! In the UK you would not have got such a raw deal (I think). I am going to take the deal as if I go now, I get a pile of cash for going.

I am going to focus on this whole TVT area being pain free and it all working... time to harness the power of the universe etc, and stop worrying..!

Wow dawn that is terrible! Didn't you get any compensation from them for firing you? It IS tough finding work here in England, I have found there are jobs out there if you look very hard but they seem to get many more applicants so competition much more fierce. I have applied for 20-30 since I found out I was being made redundant and have only had 2 or 3 interviews from all of them, many have never even emailed to say I was unsuccessful, just nothing.

I would imagine also if Missing agrees to the redundancy package it would go ahead on their timescale regardless of whether she has another post or not (sorry to talk about you as it you are not here missing), but yes, she could certainly start looking from now and see what is out there, that is what I did
What line of work are you in missing? I worked in housing and have no desire to go back to it (social housing) so am trying to change paths into marketing. I would really really prefer to work form home for myself doing website work/online marketing and since the op have been doing voluntary for my sister's photography business and a social enterprise I know. If I am successful for them I may consider launching, but its scary. Finding it hard to balance my time between getting the voluntary experience I need and applying for jobs. Howevers as long as jobs are in marketing and 'around' my former salary I would be happy to take them but not sure if I have a chance of getting anything.

Ladies I hope everyone is feeling ok. Missing I am so sorry to hear your TVT is playing up. I really hope it settles back down. Loved your comment re knicker sniffing, yep that is me too checking for infection!! Haha the things this op reduces us to! Do go back to your gp tho if today isnt better. As I said above I weirdly find stress of any kind makes my pains worse so maybe if you are a bit anxious re the work situ it is contributing somewhat? Don't you have your hols soon too? I am so looking forward to mine! It will also be easier hopefully once your hubby gets released, at least then you will have him around. Lots of changes occurring for you tho, even when change is good is is still somewhat difficult adjusting.

Ladies there is a full moon eclipse tomorrow and things will feel tense for next few days, so take it easy. Lots of treats, painkillers and rest. And stay away from the darkness xox

ah dont worry about me, I am always lucky so the work thing will all be for the best I am sure. I work part time, that is the humdinger. If I was fulltime I could get a job no prob as I have some very useful skills, however if I worked fulltime I would be unwell, I have a crap thing called fibromyalgia that makes me ridiculously tired, so part time is the most I can do. I am sure DH will get a fab civvie job and I will be a kept woman har har and in the mean time I will buy more lottery tickets.

Flowers that is horrible that no one replies to your applications, that's just bad manners.

I love this site, who else could I talk to about knicker sniffing, and Dawn I believe it was you who was talking about crying over BM - I bet there is no one on this thread who hasn't done that, but it's not something we can talk to RL friends and family about is it?

Maybe it is stress related, as I am madly stressed right now. Covered in psoriasis that came out when I thought I was going back to work at 6 wks post op, not sleeping, worrying about DH becoming a civvie, downstairs loo has leaked and ruined flooring (dealing with insurance company) and have a citalopram prescription in the drawer that I am considering filling. A good friend is urging me to take them as she says she can see that I am not myself, but I am loathe to as its hard to come off them. Maybe if I just sign the paperwork and find myself a meditation class the pains will ease off...!?!?!

Flowers I got something i the post today, it might be up your street, www.secretvideo.co.uk I havent looked it up yet, but I think this is stuff you can do from home, online stuff etc its a man called nigel botterill setting up these franchises. I will be looking into it myself when I get some time

xx

Morning ladies , I am so sorry if i caused any offence by posting in Caps , it is my ignorance i am afraid !!! I have never been on a forum before and was unaware of the etiquette , I am sorry if i offended anybody as I did not intend to shout or be rude!! I am very embarassed and feel so bad about this .
I am a few pounds lighter today as fluid is going slowly thank goodness!!! I am having trouble sleeping last few nights lots of pressure and awful back ache. I cannot get comfy on either side as my tummy feels fit to burst!! I am sleeping propped on 4 pillows not ideal but am getting a couple of hours sleep.
Rect I feel for you re BM , I am sitting here now and feels as if I need to go but it hurts soooooo much!!!! My poor husband is a saint I rant all the time I think it is in the main frustration as I am so not used to being so pathetic!!!
I hope you feel better soon.

Thanks missing, I will check it out.. I just cant believe how fast the days go when not in work! Eg today, it is 12.20pm and I am still sitting here in pj's, havent eaten yet or.. (ashamed to admit) even so much as brushed my teeth! This is why full time work again scares me as where would I fit it in?!? Missing, sorry you have that condition, don't know what it is but it sounds pretty rough on you. I am sure your DH will get a job in no time and then yes, you can be a lady who lunches! Don'y know what to say about the script.. its difficult one, maybe if you sort the work situ the stress will ease and you wont need it

Kopgirl, no worries, we were all new once but now we are accustomed to talking about anything and everything and you can too, we are not offended, you are welcome here so keep coming on.. Glad you feel better today and bit lighter, I wish my big preggers looking tummy would disappear but its not showing any signs of budging anytime soon! Sorry your not getting much quality rest. Why does it hurt to go BM? Are you taking softeners? Putting it off doesnt sound good to me tho

Anyway better go ladies and at least clean my teeth before tea time haha

have told boss I am going to take package...feel like a massive weight off shoulders, literally. I must have been scrunching up. Now, lets see if the stress falls off and the fanny pains start to ease off/healing speed up...

I am worried about BLUE do you think she has had to go back in??

I will be a lady that eats marmite sandwiches and feeds the kids beans on toast every night. Have given kids the options, money and me working, or hardly any money and no hols etc, but me at home, and all my house jobs done while they are at school, so me picking them up with time to spend with them, they both unanimously voted no money and more money...they are fab (age 5 and 8)

meant no money and more mummy argh

Missing - Have a htink about working from home. Is there anything that you really enjoy doing? Do you have any creative skills? Are you good at sales?

I trained at Uni in Hotel & Restaurant Management and spent years working in the industry. My hubbie and I would hardly ever see each other due to my daft shifts and I would sleep and eat at the most odd times!
It eventually got the point where I would wake at 8am and spend all day dreading going to work at 5pm! I loved the people I worked with but hated the politics, grief from head office and the drunks that would show up at 11pm to hasstle me!!!

After child number 2, whilst on maternity leave, I bought some beads from a local shop and strung a few together and make a couple of necklaces. Then a couple more and ended up with 20. Then I thought hard and bought a couple of strands of pearls of ebay and made a couple more!
Hubbie then told me it was getting silly andI had to try selling them as I couldn't start filling the house with jewellery. Well, to cut a long story short it is 7 years later and I am buying pearls by the hundred and have made over 10,000 pieces of jewellery!!!(I number them!).
It does not make me a lot of money, my hubbie (working as a civie for the MOD) supports us and I pay for what I can (mobile phoe bills, car payments, treats etc). And you know what, getting out of restaurants was the best thing I have ever done!
I LOVE MY JOB!!!
SOmetimes it is a little difficult to motivate myself but I work damn hard when the orders come in and slack off a little when I am not needed! I choose my hours, sometimes just working in the evenings, sometimes at weekends and when the boys are at school! Ideally I would like to be making more money but this work suits me!
With my headaches, PMT & IBS it would be a nightmare getting up early every day and doing 9-5 (I never really had illnesses when I was younger) and so I love working to my own hours.
Missing is there anything like you would like ot try? Jewellery, arts & crafts, selling something like Avon (probably not much income), Pampered Chef, Partylyte candles, Body Shop, Vigin Vie? I would avoid any 'money making' schemes as they are normally too good to be true! But something established may be a good idea.
Oh crap I'm late for school!
Anyway, my main advice is to start off small. I only put about £100 in to my business to start with and did it a little at a time, make some money, buy more stock etc.....If I had need to invest say, £500 or more to start with I would have been too scared!
Right, go to go!!!!
xxxxxxxxxx

Thanks Jewel, lots of things to think about. I am just going to give us the summer, as DH is off all of August and worry about it in Sept. I am an accountant, so altho its dull, I am pretty sure I can do some private work to fill the gaps, altho it wont be the same as earning a salary.

am hoping Blue is ok ......... ?

Yes where's Blue???? Sending positive vibes to the universe for her.
Missing, good for you with your package. Sometimes just making a decision can be a relief in itself. Let the healing begin When I did work markets selling soap, I met so many vendors that had great careers, making lots of money, but the stress and unhappiness got to them, they started marketing, much in the was Jewel started. All of them very successful and happy. A guy from England in fact Alan Irving, he sells homemade berkshire pork products, gluten free, he and his wife are just loving what they do, make a great living. One woman in particular Her name is Trish, she is a single mom, she made jewelery (Bejeweled, her company name) she quit her 9-5 stress job, she has great marketing skills and talent. She now works as a silversmith/jewelery creator and only works the summer markets and makes her entire living for the year from the 6 months at market sales, spends the winter creating and has one BIG sale for Christmas where she makes $10,000 in one weekend. That is huge financial success and at the same time, she is super happy. I am not as motivated as she is, but for anyone who is, the sky is the limit. Just thought I would share this story for the benefit of Flowers and Missing, you can do what ever you put your mind to. I believe in you both!!! Jewel has great advice for starting up if you choose that route.
Footle, yah the job loss thing over the harassment was awful and it consumed me at times and I was so angry. I eventually stopped feeling sorry for myself and tried to do something about it. Laws here are not great for that kind of thing. We were lucky to get a settlement at all, many cases don't ever have merit, but ours did. My husband filed a complaint as well as his grounds were that he was fired for being married to me. The company had to pay for more than just our settlement amount, they had to pay for a lawyer and an investigator and I am sure that would have amounted to over $10 000 more. The investigation went on for over 18 months. A coworker of mine was questioned and she shared that she also was victimized by the same person in the same manner as I, but wouldn't speak up for fear of losing her employment also. Glad that is over and we are where we are today and a little wiser.
I am very tired today, slept only an hour and still have the headache and have had the worst period I have had in a long time. I have been passing large clots like crazy for some reason, I don't know why that is? I am weeing a lot, so the water retention is subsiding and with that, the headache and joint pain should also, then I will be able to sleep.

So much posting today from everyone, last week I was worried everyone was done with mumsnet and all healed and now I can hardly keep up with the posts. It's great, I like to hear from you.

Have messaged Blue on everyones behalf (hoping an email may get through to her if she hasn't got time to go online) wishing her well and telling her we are concerned not to have heard from her for a while.
Em
x