Would you be irritated?

[spod]

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Hmm, I can really see your point. If this child just had the usual colds and coughs, I wouldn't really mind - they build up immunity that way
But if these are properly serious, I would be inclined to tell her you object to your child being exposed unnecesarily and I would leave! I don't think polite would do it in this instance

This is my main bugbear and I don't think it's fair when other mothers do this at all, they should forwarn us first.

I think it's fine to turn up with a child who has a mild illness, like a cold. But not diarrhoea and vomiting, or chicken pox, or any disease that is contagious and for which you'd need to see a doctor. If my ds is ill but able to be out and about, I always warn people in advance so they can decide if they want to risk it.

Haven't got any bright ideas for tackling your friend other than head-on.

if the child is ill it is probably not good for her to be out and about anyway!

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what kind of things are you talking about

Wait till one day when she is there and her child is healthy and start a general conversation within the group about how you feel on the subject of you children mixing with ill children. She wont feel picked on then but might just get the point.

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Very inconsiderate IMO. Colds & sniffles, that's one thing (in ds's first couple of winters we'd never have met up with anyone if we'd stayed home due to these, lol) BUT the other things edam mentions, well, that's simply not on. Or the dreaded conjunctivitis. Have you discussed it with the other mums? If you have everyone's email addresses, could you send round an email, not directed at anyone in particular, just saying that as the season of general yuckiness is upon us, could everyone be careful about bringing their children along if they have something contagious?

I like singywife's idea.

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No that's not on for you to stay away. The thing is, to be blunt, if someone did say something and she did take offence, would you be bothered anyway? What I suppose I'm saying is... do you like her?

Steal trefusis' story, embellish it and pretend it happened to you, bring it up next time you are all having a coffee, go on...

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Ah, if you like her then I don't know then other than dropping hints/trefusis' story as previously suggested. I am a wuss about these sorts of things.

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Don't envy you this one I'm afraid. Sorry I can't be any more help. I'm off to drool over Rupert in Spooks now!

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Is it an official group? Like a mother and toddlers. Could you get the organiser to send round a general memo. Or do you have a friend in the group who is a bit braver than you who could strike up a conversation on how irritating this is when people in general do it. Maybe your friend knows its wrong but just really needs the company,. Sorry if that made you feel worse!!!

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Do you phone round when your child is unwell? Has she never taken the hint from that?

Think the idea of bringing up the subject when everyone is there (and with healthy children!) is good but don't just say how much it bothers you - say you'd like to make it a new rule (or whatever) that if anyone's child is ill they have to either stay away completely or at least let people know in advance to make their own decision. If you all agree to this she will surely feel obliged to stick to it?
This is one of my pet hates too - have been known to leave before or simply say well you can stay away from us then .