Would you be irritated?

[spod]

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'Ere Sackache, Polgara25 makes me sound even more like a Star Trek cyborg (or whatever!) than I already do!! But yes I do understand what you mean - I am only talking about contagious issues. However,if this woman's children were in the situation you mean would she not have talked about it by now? Maybe not I suppose depends on how comfortable she is with it. BUT contagious bugs should be kept away full stop.

Sorry Polgara2! Didn't mean to add an extra 5.

Polgara2. I am with you! And Sachache, I would just leave (and have done) if someone's child is clearly very unwell but its when they turn up at your house. And I tend to suffer very badly when ill, I don't just get a cold, it always turns into a chest infection or leads onto tonsillitis. And even with the smallest sniffle I end up vomitting! Not very pleasant. So to cope with all that on my own with 3 kids is not funny (DH works extremely long hours and no family nearby to help). So yes, I AM A PARANOID FREAK!)

And, while I am on my soapbox..... what gets me too, is when people peer in a pram with a newborn baby and sneeze or cough and then while getting tissue say 'oh I've had a rough night, felt really rough' and/or let their kids do the same! AHHHHH

we had this problem with a group I used to belong to. One toddler was always coming down with sicky, cold bugs and infecting the others - some of whom were teeny babies. Unaccepotable IMO.

In the end, I sent an email to the group asking that mums ask the group's permission to bring along a toddler with a bug. Needless to say, the mum in question went bananas at me. However, she calmed down a bit when I explained it was unfair on the tiny babies plus, most of us had babies that still weren't sleeping through and sickness was an added burden that, for me, made life intolerable. Given that her DD rarely woke in the night, even when sick, she kind of needed this spelling out to her.

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My kids have both had heavy colds recently. dd is over hers and went to a party today, but ds is still full of it, so when I took her the mum invited me in for a drink. I would have loved to have gone in because it's another contact for me and her ds is a good friend of dd, but I was worried about ds giving his cold to the other children so I explained and declined.

I wouldn't expose children to my kid's germs so would be mightily offended if other parents did not have the same consideration for my kids. It's just common courtesy.

I'm with you on this one, spod - like the way DingDong handled it, too. I think its much better to say something than keep feeling pissed off - know it might be too late, if the subject has already been broached, but a group 'boundary' about how to manage illness in the group generally sounds like a great idea, nice and clear too. Good luck!

.....>runs back onto thread<

Chicken Pox is infectious before any symptoms appear.... and is no longer infectious by 3-5 days after the 1st spot appears..... so are you sure her child was still infectious? We took dd and ds to the Zoo when they were all spotty, I know they weren't infectious anymore.

Tonsillitis isn't necessarily infectious either. Depends what type.

I do tell my friends when my kids are ill with tummy bugs and colds which I know are mega-infectious! I am courteous in that respect. I just think that if her kids are that ill all the time then something else could be wrong.

i think that maybe if there was something more seriously wrong with these kids she would have said something by now, but of course you can't be sure. But she should be a bit more thoughtful IMO. At mother and baby group a few months ago my ds had just got over a nasty bug [we'd stayed away while he had it] and was feeling so much better. We got there and there was this woman with an older child, in his pyjamas, obviously feverish, sitting on a chair hacking his lungs out. she kept feeling his forehead and giving him sips of water. Sorry but that child should have been at home. My ds was 10 months at the time, and i was cross. All of us with younger children tried to give her a wide berth and i think thankfully she got the message and went home, just before i gave up and went home myself. I don;t understand why parents take obviously ill children to mother and baby groups, i do find it selfish.

Ahhhh, just happened to me on the school run yesterday.... Outside school waiting for DS1 to come out, another mum's young child leaned in pram, kissed my DS3, her mum said 'Ah thats lovely, are you giving the baby a kiss and a cuddle?' Then the child said, 'I am still really poorly.' The mum looked at me and said 'yeh, high temperature again in the night, really not been well. May take her to the drs later'. Oh great, yeh, thanks a lot!!!

peachandpear i'm speechless!