TAMOXIFEN 9 *********

[MaryAnnSingleton]

Starts here !

Hello all,

I'm sorry you've had a down day Pink, it does all get on top of you sometimes, but you are getting there, as Smee says when you've got 2 cycles left you'll definitely be on the home stretch. As everyone says be kind to yourself and treat yourself to something you enjoy.

I also had the red flushed cheeks - so don't worry about them, they are normal

I have to say I sometimes venture into style and beauty and ignore everything -Linen trousers are nice and look good -especially black. (My DD has a pair in black and she looks great in them)

I went to yoga then physio today - the physio has given me some more exercises using a theraband (a wide strip of rubber stuff) I have to tie one end to the door handle then stretch it out with my bad shoulder arm. 10 rounds each of 3 exercises, 4 times a day. It is agony - I kept saying 'this is quite painful' and she said 'just try to go a bit further', then I couldn't hold it any longer and my arm pinged back across my body. It is an instrument of torture

Phoned mum when I got home, and she gave me the fright of my life. I was speaking to her and she suddenly stopped answering, so I said 'hello' several times - no reply.
I hung up and tried to ring back - just got engaged every time.
So I have visions of mum collapsed on the floor. I haven't got my sister's (who lives close by) new phone number - she's just moved house. I am in a panic by now, so find the police number planning to ring them and ask the local police to go round.
I have one last try at ringing her back, - and she answers - she'd fallen asleep!!! (she said it wasn't because I was boring her ) She is bonkers, bt at least she is OK, I however am still feeling shaky.

Love to all. xx

oh KK but also !! so glad she was ok though ! Owww about the exercises,but I guess it will hurt before it gets better.
My neck and shoulders really ache- am not sure why-I generally try to ignore anything but it is really uncomfortable- esp. when I'm in my bed-=I always seem to lie awkwardly,though i start off neatly on my back,everything straight. I don't want to think it might be the tamoxifen-but I suppose it might be.

Heck Kurri, that sounds terrifying. Glad it was something daft rather than serious. Has she always been bonkers, or is this pure senility? Your mum does sound lovely either way. And those shoulder exercises sound a bit much. Do you trust this woman?? I have one of those theraband things. Gets used a lot, though not by me - DS loves using it to make catapults.

Cakes, yes Style and Beauty is a very scary place. Have only ventured there once to ask if anyone had any ideas on my chemo regrowth curly hair. I didn't understand the replies..

I am trying to steer DS away from Harry Potter until he can read them to himself. I remember reading them to my nephew and they do go on and on.. Can your DD read well enough to not need you yet, Cakes? I do hope so for your sake.

• thinking about it, I too have black linen trousers. D'you think that's why none of us were invited to the Royal Wedding?

MAS, I ache too - I was wondering if it was the Tamoxifen, but am trying to ignore it. [ostrich]

Pink, hope the dog and the tv helped. Sobbing's a brilliant idea - definitely needed from time to time. Bet tomorrow'll be better.

And speaking of tomorrows, Topsy really good luck. Hope you get very clear answers to all the things you need to know. We'll be thinking of you. x

I think someone's having chemo tomorrow, but can't remember who. There are so many of us now. sorry if I'm useless..

Crikey , that must have been really scarey Kurri
Glad she's ok .

Am having a glass of wine tonight , in the vain hope it will help me sleep .
Appointment is at 9.55am , so all the positive vibes you have around that time will be very much appreciated .

Hopefully I'll be back on tomorrow to give you an update .

Loads of positive vibes heading your way Topsy and love and hugs - we'll all be thinking of you.

It was scary, - I know I joke about it, but I was actually still shaking when DH got home half an hour later. Mum has always been eccentric -but I think she's getting more so with old age (although she's still bright as a button at 88)
She said she woke up and thought 'I don't remember saying goodbye to KK - where's she gone?'

KK - glad your mum's ok. You'll have to try harder on the coversation front though.

Pink - yes I was always very flushed on steroids for 2-3 days too. I'm sorry you're feeling down. The middle bit is really hard because you feel crap ( and yes I also found it was cumulative) and you still have what seems an age to go. But have a cry now and then, and yes do just go to bed. I liked my mantra of getting into bed during the day saying to myself 'I don't have to do anything at all - just get better'. Hang on in there.

Cakes yikes I didn't even know there was a beauty section - hadn't even registered it. What a saddo I must be. But its inner beauty wot counts. (My linen trousers are navy and just slightly too short - have been thinking of getting a new pair but they were ever so comfy last year during chemo etc ...I must have looked fantastic in my slightly too short trousers and no hair. Actually I had some inkling that this wasn't quite au point - I used to roll them up to the knee sometimes and thought they were better that way - OMG how embarressing. Must be that when its life and death you just don't care about these things ...better stop now before I incriminate myslef any further..

lots of good vibes to you topsy -will be thinking of you xxx

Topsy, keeping everything crossed for you today...

Feel a bit today. Just not coping as well as I do normally. I expect I'll cheer up. A would probably help. Anyone else for one whilst I've got the virtual kettle on?

Oh yes I could do with one, amber. Thanks.

Topsy, I am vibing madly and will keep going until you come back.

SR you did make me laugh, that's the kind of thing I'd have done - and still do, if I'm honest. And also smee - when people start burbling on about hair products and stuff I just glaze over. I like to think this is because i have better things to think about

I am glad you all similarly have dark linen trousers, or at least think they are Ok. I really like mine and won't be stopping wearing them any time soon.

KK, how really, really scary. I am so glad she is OK, she does sound wonderfully eccentric.

MAS - how appropriate. This thread is, after all, all about getting things off our chests (and then dealing with the chaos that ensues)

me too amber- am about to sort out tax stuff and then have to clean so refreshment is in order- I have some chocolate caramel biscuits to offer...

Huge vibes for Topsy from me too. Hope it's the best news possible.

Amber, I've pulled up a chair, so pour me a I have some extraordinarily delicious biscuits. Lemon Shortcake with one end dipped in chocolate. Will virtually share to cheer you up.

Pink, is your face still flushed?? it will go soon if so. Did you venture into Style and Beauty then?

See, all this talk of nice biscuits is just mean!!! I am on a diet!!! I am eating pineapple and grapes dontchaknow

PS Smee, yes dd can read the HP by herself in theory, but the sheer volume of words is daunting so we have to read a page each just to keep it moving along....

Cakes, it's okay, I scoffed them. I award you a halo made of fruit.
Good on DD for reading so well, though HP is endless...

Phew, temptation averted!

I quite like a long book about magic and tosh (I read Discovery of Witches in a state of bliss over Easter, esp when I found it was the first of three) but HP is a bit unrelenting....

I hope you're feeling a bit better after your cuppa Amber, - everyone has wobbly days every so often, - but you've been doing brilliantly, - I really admire your determination to keep going as normally as possible, and get on with the things you enjoy - and if its not too late, I'll have a - I'm very excited because I found a tea cake in the freezer (can't share I'm afraid there was only one, and its got my name on it )

Well done with the diet Cakes, - are you thinking of a name change GrapesAndMineralWater perhaps ?
Well done your DD for being able to manage the HP books. They seemed to get bigger and bigger as the series went on. Both my kids loved them, but I have to admit, I've never read them, maybe I should.

I'm currently reading a book that I won from waterstones - a proof copy - its not published until June, and I've got to write a review on their website. But I'm trying to think of a tactful way to say 'I hate all the characters in this book'

SR - your style sounds similar to mine

Good luck with the taxes MAS.

More vibes for Topsy, she will have had her appointment by now I think.

KK -be honest in your review to save hapless bookgroups from enduring awful books. We are reading The Blasphemer -Nigel somebody - it is quite engrossing at the mo.

Yes I should be really, - its not a terribly written book and its quite readable, but the plot isn't all that original, and I can find anyone to empathise with in it.

Has anyone read 'The Slap' ? - I didn't like anyone in that either

MAS is right, Kurri be honest. I haven't read 'The Slap' got put off by the marmite tag. A friend of mine has read and he loved it, but we have v.different tastes, so I don't trust that one bit. I'm reading 'Alone In Berlin' by Hans Fallada. Very, very good but also long..

Ooh awkward. A review like that isn't going to sell books, is it?

I haven't read The Slap. I like something a bit escapist, really, I am not much of a fan of reality, it's a bit samey isn't it?

I hope Topsy has had her appointment and it is good news, but if her consultant is anything like mine she'll be there until lunch, sitting disconsolately in the waiting room, desperate for a wee and not daring to go in case she misses her slot

Have just looked up Alone in Berlin - it looks good, I may get that, I can do gritty reality as long as it is safely in the past

topsy..i really hope everything goes well today,have been thinking of you.

kurri..lol at your mum,my mum is driving me bonkers im sure she thinks im still 5 everytime i go out she tells me off and checks up on me up to 5 times a day then my stepdad wants to talk to me and repeats everything my mums said.

amber.. sorry your feeling low i know how you feel i had a really bad couple of days but woke feeling much brighter today.it all gets a bit much sometimes doesnt it.

smee..i did take a look but didnt post, yesterday was tough enough to get through without taking on style and beauty.

i woke feeling so much better today and actually feel like i have more energy.i was able to whizz round the house and do the housework instead of having to stop every 5 mins.in fact im going to get the lawn mower out i just hope thats not going to be me done for 3 days.i just wish i could get rid of this burning feeling in my mouth that is driving me mad.

good on you, pink (don't overdo it though)

Yeay for whizzy Pink.

Well done Pink, great you are feeling better (go easy on the lawn mowing though, don't knock yourself out)

I am now on skype with my DD's whole house, - they all want help with the last minute touches to their essays/dissertations/ composition titles etc. etc. so I am receiving several requests for help 'is this the right word, it doesn't sound right' etc.

I am such a pushover - I ought to be telling them to get on with it themselves, but they are all at the panic stage Meanwhile I am trying to finish off the centipede which has been very tricky to make.