TAMOXIFEN 9 *********

[MaryAnnSingleton]

Starts here !

Hi LGF. Hurrah indeed!

Glad to see you and that you are feeling OK. x

hello LGF - have a lovely weekend

Hi LGF - OMG - periods on top of everything else! Sympathies!

Thanks for the support Cakes - I have asked my manager for 2 weeks off in August today and I have a 3 day break in June for DD's graduation so that will be nice (I hope - assuming she's done OK!)

The ability of chemo to shrink tunours pre-op is amazing! Not everyone responds like that though - one local frind had a tumour that refused to shrink so her op was brought forward - she's fine.

Have to do some work now.

It's weird -I feel I've stepped back somewhere,having gone back to the breast unit-though of course I've been there lots of times since dx- but it was odd waiting outside the ultrasound room,then going into the diagnostic mammo bit - I suppose it's bound to feel strange. I didn't tell my parents about it,nor ds-no point in worrying them and as it turns out uneccessarily. (can't spell that)
Gave some money to two girlies outside Sainsb. in their Moonwalk t shirts and wished them a good walk tomorrow.

It is bound to bring back uncomfortable memories though isn't it, that kind of deep routed emotional response connected to the last time MAS. I am sedning you big hugs, guess you might feel a bit emotionally drained by now. I shall raise a very large to dense tissue tonight!

LGF - periods too seems flippin unreasonable a bit unfair. Big sympathies for having to deal with that too.

Update on sparkle junior.....home again, few bowel and bladder incontinence issues today which is not fun, he kind of lost it earlier, but happier now. Drew himself with huge worry bag... said he didn't want mummy to carry his worries too, as I had enough. Sparkle update......having several large tonight, may need weepy movie to provide excuse for having good cry! but and unashamed one today!

oh bless him,he is so sweet sparkle and you deserve Hope he feels more himself very soon.
thanks for understanding -I have told my parents,but only after 2 glasses of wine and I got dh to say it- mum says I should have told her so she could worry !! she says she'll now worry in retrospect ! Mind you,they never tell me things !

Hello i hope you don't mind if I join you - I found a lump on 14th March went to the GP that morning GP thought it was a cyst, but referred me on, saw consultant a couple of weeks later, lump looked like a cyst on the scan, but histology said not the following week, DH almsot fainted and then was booked in for lumpectomy & sentinel node biopsy on 19th April. Post ops histology showed it was a grade3 2.5cm diam lump, but my nodes were clear. Advised to have chemo due to my age & the type of tumour which starts on 6th June.

I'm not sure how I'm feeling at the mo, mainly I don't think it has really sunk in. Everyone keeps telling me how brave I am but what else am I gonna do. My 2 DS (age 2 and 4(birthday was day I came home from my op) ) don't give me time to really think about it except at night - I'm getting to sleep ok, but then wake up in the night and just can't get back to sleep. I've been going to work and doing eveything as normal cos I feel fine, but i get the impression people think i should be falling apart?

All my family & friends are being great, but no-one really understands, it would be good to talk to some people in the same boat?

hi kazzaL - you are most welcome - sorry of course that you are here,but am sure you will find lots of support. You are absolutely right in saying that you just have to get on with things -there's no choice really. I think it does take an age to sink in-I am 2 years post diagnosis and still feel that, but you will get through it and we're here !

KazzaL and Topsy. Just to say hello and, as a serial lurker on this thread, you won't find a more supportive and welcoming and knowledgeable and funny and reassuring and kind group of friends anywhere. This thread was a god send for me when I needed it and I'm sure it will be for you. Hope you gain the help and reassurance from this fab group that I did.

Hello Kazzal,

I'm sorry you've had to cope with your bad news and to join this club - but welcome and I hope you'll find the thread here helpful. I certainly did when I was going through treatment last year - I still lurk and join in once a week or so, cos everyone's lovely!

Its odd isn't it that people expect you to behave in a certain way. You just do what feels right girl - there will be emotion and shock and all the rest, but you take it at your own pace and for some people work helps. What do you do?

You'll find we do wander off onto lots of different topics so please bear with it - its good distraction therapy anyway - gardens, cakes and DCs are frequent topics.

By the way Topsy - where do you live? Think I missed that.

Also MAS - I skim through too quickly and missed that you'd had a scare. I'm sorry about that and hope you're OK now.

KK - hope you're not fainting any more and that your father is OK.

I've got our Polish guest digging manure into the garden this morning...this is the second lot of lovely bagsful! The garden is really happy! Must plant out some veg this w/e as courgettes and cucumbers are leaping out of their pots.

Morning all and welcome to our newcomers, KazzaL and Topsy. Of course we're sorry you've had to join us but I'm sure you'll find lots of useful advice here, as well as sympathic listening ears and 'virtual' shoulders to lean on when things get tough.

Well, I was diagnosed in February (3 days after losing my dear mum ). I have a largish lump (I think it was around 7cm) plus it's gone to the nodes and am currently going through chemo. I've just had my fourth cycle so only two more to go. Then it's a mastectomy followed by rads. I am keeping everything crossed that the chemo has shrunk the lump quite a bit. The oncologist seems quite pleased but didn't have the results of my ultrasound so I don't know exactly how it's all progressing. I'll have to wait a fortnight when I have the next round of chemo.

I've managed to avoid being neutropenic and ending up in hospital this time, thank goodness. I've just had the last of my daily Filgrastim injections and they seem to have done the trick.

It's lovely to feel almost normal again, enjoying food (well, most of it) and being able to go out and about. My energy levels aren't quite what they were but I've learnt to pace myself and have a rest when I need to.

I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend.

Love to you all. xxxxx

Hello Kazza, welcome to the thread, but as always - I am very sorry you have had to join us. Sleeping can be a bit of a problem - there are so many things going on in your mind, its difficult to switch off. An awful lot to get your head round in the early days, but you are doing well carrying on as normally as you can, and work will be good for taking your mind off things a bit.
It is good news your nodes are clear, - there are lots of ladies on here who are going through chemo, so you'll get plenty of support, - and once your treatment gets started, it often starts to feel as if you are actually moving onwards. Lots of love to you, and hope we can be of help

Topsy, - I hope you are feeling OK today, one step at a time a the moment, and deal with each thing as it comes along. Your sister sounds great (I have a great sister too, so I know how good it is to have that support )

Figgy - great you have managed to avoid the neutropenia this time, - that must feel heaps better. And only 2 more to go - thats great, well done you

Amber, I hope you have a great weekend in the wilds - sounds like a lovely break,and looks as if you will have nice weather.

SR - I hope you do manage to get a break soon, you've got a lot going on. I'm vaguely trying to find something to wear for my DD's graduation, but haven't seen anything I really like yet. I send your DD lots of luck for her finals (although I'm sure she won't need it )
I'm glad PG is digging your manure in for you - and making himself useful

My fainting has stopped now, - 'm just waiting for result from my most recent blood test and hoping everything has settled down now. Dad is fine now thank you, infection has cleared up and he's been able to sit outside in the sunshine

Love to everyone else, take care all and have a good weekend.

I'm going to see DS and his DP in 'Misery' tonight - a stage play of the Stephen King novel. I think I shall look away when my DS is 'hobbled' I'm not too keen on scary plays or films.

Oh meant to say I'm going to try to cut down my posts a bit, and stop waffling on so the new ladies don't have to wade through too much of my nonsense when they are looking for info

oh KK don't cut down !!

I will just try to keep them short and sweet MAS - I sometimes seems to write something that's nearly an essay!

Good luck to your DD too, KK. Does a lot depend on the final exams? As my DD is at Cambridge, almost all the marks are from the exams which is a bit rough. She's never been good under exam conditions really, depsite managing to get to Cambridge! So I'm rather apprehensive. I've book DH and me a couple of nights in Cambridge around the graduation but I'll wear an existing outfit, as we're trying to cut down on our expenditure!

What is your DD going to do next?

good luck to both dds !

my bf is due to have her first routine mammo- am going to be ridiculously anxious about it- partly because she does suffer with her health (fibromyalgia among other things) plus is childless and overweight . I also worry about my mum too. Gah.

thank you SR and MAS for good lucks for DD. Strangely she is the opposite to your DD SR - she tends to do well under exam conditions, but less well on longer drawn out stuff. Needless to say she doesn't have exams (Sheffield do modular course and you take exams at the end of each one)and she did some earlier in the year, but for her main final work she has to write a long dissertation, then have it bound etc. (I'm more worried about her leaving time for those sort of practicalities!) so am also nervous for her.

Good luck for your friend MAS, I hope she is fine, - it is worrying though, I have have a friend waiting for scan results, and I'm thinking about her all the time.

'Misery' last night was really brilliant, a great evening out. IT was just DS and his DP in it, and they were both so good (biased maybe ), but it got quite scary at the end!

Lots of love to all, hope ladies on treatment aren't feeling too bad atm. (hope you are OK LJ, and that the final FEC went OK, and you are able to get plenty of rest over the weekend)

well done to ds and his dp- did you tell them 'to break a leg' ? (sorry)
Hope everyone has a good week,especially those with treatment/recovering from treatment -thinking of you all.

Hello Kazza, just nipped in to say hi. Sorry you're here, but stick around and let us help if we can. I've found this thread ever so life affirming. It probably kept me sane when I was in treatment last year. I started my chemo at start of June too, but a year on and am genuinely fine, happy and living life to the full again. Hope that helps!

No time to post to all, but Figgy, hooray!! Am so pleased to hear you're not neutropenic. Was thinking of you only this morning.

• Sparkle, so for DS. Hope he's okay today and you're having a bit of fun along the way.

Topsy, hope you're not feeling too overwhelmed by it all. Keep talking to us x

LGF, periods seems a bit unfair. I think lots of women still have them on chemo though. G'ah for you being one of them though.

Kurri, DS's partner played the psycho woman??! Heck of a thing for a couple to act out?! They must both be very good.

MAS, leg breaking. I'm not surprised the clinic took you back a bit. I've been feeling a bit fragile since I saw the Psychologist. I think it must be because I had to talk through it all. Am good, just it's all a bit nearer the surface iyswim. at your poor mum worrying retrospectively.

Got to run, as we're heading to a picnic. Wishing everyone a lovely weekend though. Hope everyone on treatment's warding off icky se's. Heaps of good luck to Kurri and SR's DD's for finals too.

Wonder if Pink's DD found any Lemon Cheesecake..

Boring rainy day here so DS got our never-used pasta machine out, and we've had a brill time - made the dough then made tagliatelli and ravioli with spinach and ricotta filling! Did I mention that on Friday he made a chocolate pastry flan filled with a chestnut sponger and covered in chocolate ganache??!! Probably did already mention it but its definitely worth mentioning again My diet's gone out of the window but my sore throat at last feels better! Good thing I did lots of gardening yesterday and swam today.

Hope everyone's ok - I know we needed rain so shouldn't mind it really.

Stop reading here unless you want a gardening update.

With help from DH and PG I planted my dear little tomato and cucmber plants into grow bags yesreday - using 3 of those reservoir thingies to ease watering. So have about 4 different growing methods going to see which works best - a coir grow cube, a container with a cage to support plants, a gro-bag with thereservoirs and a gro-bag without reservoirs!!

Would have put courgettes out today but really to wet. Will have to wait for next w/e unless they've walked out on their own by then..................

I give up on cannage and caulis tho. Cabbage has been in raised bed for about 6 months - cut some last week and it was really fairly horrid. Cauli has also taken space for months and there is absolutely no sign of a flower. They'll have to be sacrificed for the greater good I'm afraid - ie courgettes etc.

pasta sounds amazing,as does the flan - yum yum...
Went to friends for drinks party yesterday and she'd made heavenly herby savoury muffins,tiny ones-warm with slivers of brie in the top- they were so fab...am going to ask for recipe.
Today I did some organising of my receipts and accounts,ready for tax return...not too awful,though I always rather dread it.

Morning All

Sandripples - I am in Belfast .

Had a fantastic weekend , DDs First Communion was beautiful . I cried , but so did a few other mums . So I didn't look like a complete loon !
Went for a meal in the evening with 2 other "communion families" , so the kids all played , and the parents ate and drank and danced !
Haven't told these friends my news yet , so was able to enjoy the evening as a "normal" person .

Appointment with surgical consultant is on Thursday morning . Have full days of childminding today and for the next couple of days , so that's a great distraction .

How was the weekend for the rest of you ?

am so glad that you had a loverly weekend topsy- and that the first communion went well -will be thinking of you on Thursday x