Well, ok. You were warned!
I had a dream a few weeks ago that I was writing a play and I put several piss takes in it, really pretentious stuff.
Last night I dreamed that I was on Holiday in Blackpool, and my Dad mentioned that a market town down the road was having a big drama festival.The town began with 'M'.
Think Edinburgh Fringe, but writers and actors would all congregate around these boards where people would post scripts, and cast actors.
So I pin my script to the board and get allocated six actors for my cast. The parts in my play were a pregnant woman, a social worker, a college professor and two other guys, plus me.
I don't remember the plot of the play totally, but it was based on an incident where I in 'RL' had gone to see my Mum's next door neighbour (who in reality died years ago) to cheer her up, she had asked me to leave, the post came and there was all this jewellery making stuff that the lighter ladies had sent to also cheer her up.
At one point in the afternoon, someone had stood on a syringe, and that was the name at the top of the script.
We have half a day to rehearse and I am bricking it because I only wrote the play as a pisstake and really dont remember the script. Then an expert on scriptwriting (who was called Simon)came back with the 'script edit' (I have no idea if that is a proper term) and told me I have to take out a paragraph where the pregnant character refers to 'Ribs like Thistles' 
Are you still with me?
It's time for curtain up and there are a panel of experts judging the writing and acting but I notice they are at the back of the stage watching, not with the audience. While everyone is trying not to miss there cue, one of the male actors is dithering about whether to go ahead or not. The professor character is really holding everything together.
Just when I am about to go onstage for my dramatic monologue (which also had the ribs as thistles reference but it wasn't edited for my cxharacter) DS appears and says that He has lost DD. And The male actor decides to abandon ship so we have to stop.
I look out of the window of the huge building we are performinhg in and there are dozens of dogs all running around everywhere. I spot DD but there are loads of stairs that I have to negotiate to find her.
I get her, return to the room where I sit down with 'Simon' and he tells me I am a really talented writer. I am ridiculously proud but also a little 
that I only started it as a pisstake.
And then he says that he has been watching me all day and he has changed his view of me. He expected me to be selfish, but apparently I couldn't be because a)I had bought all of my cast an icecream and b) I had nearly been late to start as I stopped to report a flood by dialling 20999 rather than 999 because that way the organisers only got charged a £20 call out fee.
Sop I am pleased that he doesn't think I am selfish, but turn to him and say 'But I didn't even get to go on stage'
Hear endeth the dream. You did ask! 