TAMOXIFEN thread number 8 ********

[MaryAnnSingleton]

just in case we run out of space !

Hi all - have been rather sick today again, (its one of the symptoms of the thyroid thing apparently).

Thank you MAS for sending the book, I'll put yours and Smee's in the post tomorrow morning.

LGF - I'm sorry you had a bad nights sleep, the steroids can make you pretty agitated, I used to take my final dose of the day at about 4pm in the hope the agitation would have passed a bit.

With regard to how you will feel, it's a bit hard to say because everyone varies. I used to have my chemo on a Tuesday, and by Friday I was feeling pretty rough, but I had a lot of stomach/bowel problems and wasn't terrible strong to start with. I was also on a trial for accelerated chemo - so regime a bit different and I did get very ill at one point.

So I'm probably not a good person to say how it will go - I know a good few people who have coped much better than I did, and my SIL worked part time through her chemo (she's a teacher).

So I keeping fingers crossed for all of you that you don't have a rotten time. The affects do tend to be cumulative, so use this first session to get a gauge of how you feel on each day. My feeling bad in the first 3 months of my chemo lasted about 5-6 days during each cycle, then I perked up a bit.

Chemo caddy sounds a very good idea Figgy, I hope you are feeling better today, and have got something for the thrush - that can make you feel low if you are uncomfortable.

Sparkle - poor little DD's finger exploding! - but maybe all the yucky stuff is out now. She sounds a lovely little character
So pleased your DS is so excited about his mini laptop - I hope he a had a great day at school today

Anyway - wishing everyone a good night's sleep tonight. I hope the RSPCA person turned up SR and kitten will soon be on his way to his new home

Love to all x

Figgy - x-posted with you - do keep a good eye on yourself - avoid raw fruit and veg for a little while until your blood count goes up. I don't want to be a scaremonger, but I got very neutropenic and was in hospital for over a week with multiple infections, - not fun. Don't want to sound frightening - but fore warned is fore-armed - and it's great they are keeping an eye on things for you.

hope today is better for those feeling under the weather.
Am taking dad to the other hospital for his diabetic eye test - he can't drive after- though he says he could just put sunglasses on !
They gave me some flowers and a box of rose & violet creams yesterday- so kind -I must eat them all by the end of today as tomorrow it's LENT ! anyone still joining me on the chocolate fast ?

I'll join you in the chocolate abstinence MAS

Hi all - haven't been about and need to catch up. Sorry.

But briefly - thanks for sending the book MAS, I am looking forward to its arrival. I will join you on your chocolate fast - and I ate the last of the McVitie's choc digestives yesterday so they can't sing to me form the kitchen when I am working. I will likely cave after a week, but I am going to try.

Sorry you are sick KK At least they know what it is and are on it now.

I hope SR's kitten has landed, that sparkles' dd's finger has stopped erupting, and that all the chemo ladies are feeling a bit better. It is hard - as KK says, the effects are cumulative, but I found the first cycle really tough just because it is so unknown. But you are doing great.

Figgy - don't feel you have to give in to the voyeurism of others - for some it is genuine concern, for others it is something else, and you don't have to let those people in. They don't mean any harm, but it's more about their desire to know, than about their wish to be supportive. Send 'em to get their excitement for the day somewhere else. x

MAS I will join you on the chocolate fast as long as I can still have my one drinking chocolate before bed, I can't manage without that , but I can and should manage without choclate biscuits, chocolate ice cream, chocolate desserts, chocolate chocolate........ I wonder how many of these I can pack in before Lent starts...... Would I be giving up enough if I still kept my sacred drinking chocolate?!!?

Kurri - I hope you are feeling better today.

SR waiting for kitten news........ very excited for you.

I have just emailed a letter of complaint to director for child services at our local authority, copied to our mp....so we will see whether that kicks them into action, and I have just got back from having my long hair chopped off into a short bob. Is that me in the mirror? Nice shame shame about the lines on the face
I am getting into gear before I go to the breast clinic next week and the surgeon tells me what treatment is next. I will have nice looking hair, well for a while, and I may even paint my nails, not very well 'cos I am rubbish at it with shakey hands, but it is a positive embracing life statement....I think.

hair cut sounds great sparkle- and getting into gear before breast clinic sounds good and cheering - will be thinking of you then.
Any kitten news SR ?

Sparkle - well done for sending a letter of complaint - and I hope it does kick them into action - fingers crossed. They have been appalling.

I bet your hair looks great - have you had it long for a long time? - it does take a bit of getting used to when its a big change

Painting nails is a good move - I may join you and do my toes - my feet are looking very old and wrinkly, they could do with a bit of tarting up. In fact so awful are my feet, my DD bought me a ped-egg - I can take a hint

MAS - Toast has arrived - thank you very much. I am posting Seamus at lunch time today, when I can get to the PO. I am extremely of your beautiful handwriting - please don't look too closely at mine

I am feeling a bit better today. I felt awful last night, and didn't sleep at all. I am a bit fed up with it all and had a bit of a sniffle to DH about it last night - I keep being suddenly very sick - and it's making me nervous about going out in case I seriously embarrass myself.

DH is very strongly of the opinion that I should stop the tablets all together because he thinks I look quite ill, but GP says to take half dose for 6 weeks.

Actually I don't need conflicting advice it's not helpful, although I know DH is annoyed that I have been overdosed. But I think I should stick to Dr's instructions.

Several people have said I look ill in the last few weeks, which makes me think I must look dreadful (I wonder why people feel the need to point it out?)

Sorry that was a bit of a ramble - just thinking out loud really

Figgy - I agree with Cakes - only discuss what you want to with others, - some people are downright nosey - I was once quizzed extensively by DH's boss - who hardly knows me, but he was asking questions as if I was some kind of scientific case. I couldn't be too rude because he's the boss - but I did rather obviously strike up a conversation with someone else

Kurri should you go back to the gp and discuss how you are still feeling, and how quickly the sickness comes on. Maybe there is more the gp can do.

yes,that sounds like good advice KK - you poor thing- must be horrid for you. Perhaps you just look pale and interesting ?
Am just eating my violet and rose creams - ds will be furious as they're nearly finished,but I don't care.

MAS good progress with your violet and rose creams

Figgy - sorry to hear that you white blood count is low but at least you know and can keep an eye on it. Take it easy :) I bet working with children really lifts your spirits? I personally would like to work as much as I can to keep myself occupied.

MAS - I think I will pass on giving up chocolate this year Its one of the things keeping me going. Well anything sweet....

I feel good today! I had a much better nights sleep and it makes a difference. I am also ready to embrace hair loss...2 hats I ordered turned up this morning and a lovely lady came to my house this morning to cut my wig. It looks great. I've just got to make sure it stays on my head now

Figgy, good to hear you're on top of potential neutropenia. Just think though, those drugs must be blitzing any cancer spells. No way will they survive amongst that.

LGF, glad you're feeling better today. The middle of the night is the hardest time, isn't it. I had stomach problems too, but slightly different, as I just couldn't stop throwing up. Definitely talk to the Oncs about it, as they should give you something for it. Great to hear you're ready for hair loss. It's almost a relief once it starts.

Kurri, not good that you're feeling sick too. When will those drugs sort you?? I think the others are right, definitely worth a trip back to the GP to see if they can help.

MAS, thanks so much for 'Toast'. I knew it was from you as soon as I saw the impressive handwriting. Very much the artist.

I'm impressed by you all giving up chocolate, but not me - it's a step too far. A few squares of Green and Black in the evening is part of life now, and have any of you found those Maltesers Bunnies for Red Nose Day. [evil cackle!] I have given up alcohol in the week. Not for Lent, just because it makes sense. Quite hard last night, as DH poured a glass for himself. Wine being poured's one of my favourite sounds.

I've been sensible and had my 3 yearly smear test today. Not too worried about it, as logically all those scans last year, would have shown anything serious, so there are some worrying cells, it's early enough now to do something. Fingers crossed I'm right.

Where's SR?? Working I know, but we need kitten news.

Isn't LimeJelly starting today?? Thinking of you LJ - let us know you're okay when you can.

MAS - thanks so much for Toast. I am very keen to start reading now! Your writing is lovely -and completely indistinguishable from another friend's - she is also very arty.

KK, I do think that the GP should be able to do more about the sickness. It can't be right if it is just erupting with no warning - seriously limiting

Sparkles' hair sounds lovely. And now i am spurred on to repaint my toes too - shame really, as I definitely should be writing something, as i have already spent half the morning getting hypnotised again. This time I felt like I was watching myself fall lazily backwards into a deep blue abyss - i know that sounds scary but it seemed uber-relaxing and peaceful at the time.

LGF - well done for all the preparations. Faced up to and prepared for, it turns out to be not as bad as you might think. Or at least, you are working your way towards the end of it and out into the sunshine, not just facing a big black cloud.

Sparkles, I'm sure I typed something to you, but it's not there, Good on you for writing that letter. Be interesting to hear what response you get. Hot chocolate doesn't count.

Do McVities choc digestives? (I'm guessing the answer's 'yes')

Hang your head in shame Cakes, and send them my way. Am honestly happy to take them off your hands.

yes,meant to say well done too sparkles !
Whoever feels like giving up something,be it choc or wine then do join me,even for a short time !
Am glad all your Toasts have arrived- shall look forward to Seamus

Thank you smee, I will now be happy to start following MAS down the chocolate free lent trip, knowing my hot chocolate doesn't count pretend it is one for later.

Just had to go and get ds from school early, as he subluxed his ankle and we can't get it back in.....am going to make me him feel better with pancakes.

poor ds- send him a virtual pancake from me...

Poor DS Sparkle - do you mind me asking what happens now - does he have to go to a and e to have it put back? I hope he enjoys his pancakes anyway(tell him to eat an extra one for me as I don't think we are having them tonight)

I'm glad you had a better night LGF, and that nice lady has been to style your wig and your hats have arrived, it is good to feel prepared and organised

The hypnotizing sound lovely Cakes, do you think it is helping, or is it too early to tell yet?

Smee - I'm sure everything will be fine with your smear - but it's natural to be a bit anxious considering all you've been through - it's bound to make you a bit more 'alert to possibilities' as it were.

Definitely don't give up your chocolate if you are giving up wine - that would be too much!

I hope your Dad's eye test went well MAS.
I will consider myself 'pale and interesting' now (rather than white and haggard ). You are all right of course, I do need to contact the GP again - my brain seems to be incapable of thinking sensibly at the moment!

I've just spent an hour pottering in the garden -, it's such a lovely day here - and it's really lifted my mood, fresh air and grubbing about in soil generally picks me up

If you have started your chemo today LJ - I hope it went well, and I apologise for not wishing you well last night, - I had you down in my head for thursday, but as I say, the brain is not working at is best atm.

It might be Thursday for LJ. My memory is not to be trusted.

Poor little Sparkle - he really does go through it, doesn't he. Was his new laptop a hit though? Meant to ask before.

KK - I think it is helping. Last week I felt more at peace than I had since before my diagnosis. It didn't last, but again today, i feel mellow and without a core of anxiety. Not many people are going, that's the only trouble, as it is in the day and only people who don't work or freelances like me can fit it in - so it may get stopped. In which case I'd probably go privately, but that would be more expensive (and also I don't think I'd like the one on one thing).

Sparkles - poor ds. i don't know what subluxing is but i can tell it's not good. A big pancake and hug from me. x

it might be Thursday for LJ - I get huge anxiety about not reading the thread properly and missing out on things and then not responding...gah !
Dad's eyes are very good (no diabetic eye probs) so tht's ok for another 6 months I think.
Am sure smear will be fine smee - I have not yet been to mine -am putting it off I know but it's been such a whirl these past few weeks. I also am way overdue with my contact lens check up.(funny how I mnaged to fit a haircut in though- but tht is psychologically neccessary I think)
Just going to have a little choc snack before clearing up the detritus of ds's after school snack- how can there be so many crumbs ?