TAMOXIFEN thread number 8 ********

[MaryAnnSingleton]

just in case we run out of space !

Aww LGF no way will your kids reject you over hair loss! You will still be you, their mummy. That's all they will care about. Young children are much less bothered about appearances than older ones I know it's hard on you, but it's better if the kids do draw closer to their dad at this time - this has been forced on mine with my two disappearances to hospital for surgery, and I see it as good preparation for when I'm not feeling up to much during the chemo. Think DH is enjoying the extra closeness too.

Your sleep pattern sounds identical to mine when I'm very anxious. Have a glass or two of before bed maybe? Hope you get a better night's sleep than last night xx

quite possibly MAS- and plenty of it should be just what the (RWU)doc ordered! i try to lead by example [hiccup]

Oh RWU not another one!

MAS Neck very definitely could be achy from stress, and you've had plenty of it. Hands - you've been working hard recently on your drawing/painting? Nasty cold damp weather?

LJ- 'fraid so, i am collecting them... although i have found a distinct difference between antiques and equines... antiques need dusting every now and again, equines need at least twice daily attention and a vet i'm sure dh would prefer me to buy wedgewood

Was supposed to go to antiques auction today - viewed yesterday - nothing I particularly 'needed' so stayed at home away from temptation today - try it sometime? cheeky

yes,am sure it's stress ! thanks
LGF - agree with LJ - your children won't reject you because of hair- I will be thinking of all these worries and anxieties for the book (LGF - I am thinking of doing a book for children about bc (to start with) and am hoping to gather any ideas and experiences which might help me)

No word from dad yesterday,so have guessed that mum is not moving yet - hope he managed to sort hairdresser..will probably go with ds later to visit. I gave in and emailed my bcn about what was going on.

Morning all and welcome to LGF. I've only been here a couple of weeks and these ladies are fab.

I was diagnosed a fortnight ago, had CT scan and bone scans and it hasn't spread although there were signs it's in the nodes. I've got a ECG booked for tomorro. So, like you, am starting first on chemo (hopefully next week)followed by an op.

I have two sons 24 and 20. My youngest has Downs Syndrome and I told him on Monday. I was really reassuring. Then yesterday he asked when I had to start my "medicine". We talked about it a bit and I mentioned it might make me feel a bit yukky and it might make my hair fall out. He looked a bit shocked. I told him I'd wear scarves, hats and a wig for a few months till it grows back and he asked if he could help me choose a lovely scarf so I think he's going to gradually get used to the idea.

It's only natural to be scared witless about the treatment but it helps to come here and ask questions and join in the banter.

Oh well done Figgy on talking to your son. I had been wondering about that, remembered you had been worried about it. Sounds like you did a really good job and very positive he wants to help you choose a scarf. What's his taste like?

yes,well done figgyroll

LGF - I'm certain your children won't reject you. They will make sense of everything gradually in their own way and come to an understanding that they are happy with.

Maybe one approach could be that the medicine to make you better will make your hair fall out, and when your hair falls out it means the medicine is working well. (as I say mine were much older so if I'm talking nonsense just ignore )

Figgy well done on talking to your DS, and is great he wants to help you choose a scarf. Actually any little thing family members can do that lets them feel helpful in a situation where they will feel very helpless, is a good thing IMO.

My DS spent a lot of time drawing up charts for my temperature, my pills etc. - not strictly necessary but it made him feel he was doing something

MAS I will PM you the bits and bobs I jotted down re the book - I meant to do it earlier, this bug has addled my brain . I'm not sure they will be of any great use, as mine were grow up. It's just jottings, not perfect prose

Love to all. thinking of everyone starting chemo soon

Have e-mailed you MAS

got it ! many thanks KK

Blimey, loads of posts!

First off -welcome and heartfelt comiserations from me LGF.(However I spell that it seems to be wrong) I imagine you are in big shock, and if you have any specific questions one if us is sure to have some ideas. Although I find the memories a bit hazy, even I can sometimes dredge up something practical. I hope you'll find this thread helpful. We are all in the same boat, it's just that some of us have been in it for a bit longer, and it really is nice to have company, especially for the rougher bits. We always say this, but in case you missed it, this waiting bit is the worst, getting on with the treatment really is better.

SR and LJ I love your photos. I really must upload some, if i can figure it out.

RWU, how many horses do you have now??? I am very sorry about your floor, what a total sod. And I got a bit dreamy with your tales of young farmers. I really think I am turning into a sad old lech, I need to get a life.

I have scanned all these posts so forgive me - but whoever is worried about their kids going off them without hair: I really don't think so. Mt dd was 6 at the time. I warned her beforehand and she was OK. Kids are resilient.

MAS - I think it's stress too. Your body's way of saying you should get away from the desk and try a bit of fun instead

Hi again, thanks all for your responses. I had a better nights sleep and woke up feeling positive today. In fact I've had a lovely day so far. Some work colleagues took me to lunch and I'm taking the kids to the cinema soon. For those that work - did you continue to work through Chemo if you have had it? I work part time and really want to go back, but I am worried that it might not be the right thing? Then again, I don't want to spend all my time at home if I can help it!

Figgy - I too was diagnosed 2 weeks ago today so we are in a very similar situation. Let me know when your chemo starts? Mine is next Thursday.

To everyone who advised me about the hair loss and my childrens reaction. Thanks. I will need to talk to older 2, especially my daughter. She knows I'm not very well, and need to go to the hospital to make me better. I think I will go with Kurri's idea of saying that the medicine is working well if my hair falls out :)

Hi LGF - I'm glad you had a good nights sleep - makes all the difference and have a lovely time at the pictures.

With regard to working, - I was working from home, on a very part time basis - I wouldn't have been able to manage an outside job I felt too ill. But everyone is different, my SIL did manage to work a couple of days a week while she was on chemo - she had fewer cycles than me and seemed to cope very well.

So see how you feel, chemo makes you very tired apart from anything else, and at the vulnerable time between treatments you need to avoid contact with people who may have a bug of some sort (as far as possible).

Do you have the kind of job where you might be able to work at home? Play it by ear - if doing your job is very important to you in terms of how you feel, your confidence, carrying on as normal etc. then maybe you try it and see how you get on, or find some sort of compromise. IME also effects of chemo were cumulative, - so you might be able to continue for a little while

HTH - it's really hard to say what you can and can't do because people vary such a lot.

Sorry - mad rush as driving to Cambridge in 5 mins. Just wanted to say hello to L:GF. I'm another on here who's been through ops, chemo and radiotherapy so yes fire away with any questions. I've emerged out at the other end - its long haul but you'll manage.

RWU - so pleased about your additional horse! And eve more pleased about you being cost-effective. Carry on like this as everyone knows what a total bargain you are. WE all love you just virtually so in RL you must be totally amazing.

Bye for now. Off with DS to an open day and to see DD.

How could I forget to mention my relief at RWU's cost effectiveness??? That is seriously good news, and a big yay! from me.

LGF - I continued to work during chemo, but I work for myself, from home and was able to give myself maximum flexibility. I think some jobs would be pretty impossible, others much more doable. What is yours?

Have fun in Cambridge SR

My brain has just clunked into gear and I've realised you've accidentally bought another horse RWU (I'm not good at reading late at night), she sounds lovely

lovely pictures SR !! Now I can picture you when I read your posts
Have a lovely trip to Cambridge
LGF - am glad you've had a nice day - hope the cinema was fun !
Have just got back from visiting mum- my brother and niece were there too - we stayed for an extra half hour and weren't told off.
The grab rails and other bits and pieces have been installed at parents house- they are of course essential but so ugly - my parents house is lovely and full of fab things and it's sad to see these clunking great things- dad says his heart sank at the sight of the outside rails which look like bits of scaffolding -but he says he'll paint them with green Hammerite.

LGF, I am worried about work too. I am a teaching assistant in a primary school working with 6 year olds. I asked the oncologist about it and she said they encourage people to continue with their normal lives as much as possible and didn't seem too concerned that I would be working with small children and all that entails (coughs and sneezes and worse). I only work 5 mornings a week so will have the afternoons to rest if I need to but I really don't know if I ought to be putting myself at risk of a possible infection. I will mention it tomorrow when I go to the hospital.

Cakes- will be having a day off tomorrow (apart from dentist) -we're going to The Vyne - lovely NT place and I think Wagamama

Have a nice time MAS - a day off will do you the world of good, - I agree with the others re stress. Everything tenses up without you realising and you get aches and pains.

Have a lovely day, MAS!

Figgy - ask the oncology team. But I'd say that. if you want to do it, give it a try. At least it won't be during the winter colds season. You will have to watch yourself, though (ie just take your temperature daily). I think continuing real life is really best, as long as you can manage it.

i can't keep up with the chattyness!

MAS- good that the rails are in- hopefully making things easier but i know what you mean about the clunkyness, we have grab rails in the wet room (damn social services seem to think i'm ill or somesuch ) they can look strange to start with, but you do get used- and i like the hamerite idea!

we've got 9 horses now of varying sizes (1 each for the dc's, one for step dd, 2 of mine and a lovely old companion who spends her days wistfully watching the world go by!) we've just been up to the farm, i took 'muppet' out ( i know... only i could end up with a horse called muppet- but it suits her!) and the boys all went 'trenching' with their cousin on the tractor and quads. Good job we got the super large capacity machine- it's full of muddy stuff now!