TAMOXIFEN thread number 8 ********

[MaryAnnSingleton]

just in case we run out of space !

You can increase the size if you want SR - but you'd have to re upload them - I can see them fine though they are very clear

You are remembering I'm the dumpy grey one aren't you KK?

PS hope you're feeling better.

Hello everyone, I have caught up on all your news, but am too knackered to answer properly, sorry.

Figgy and LJ I hope you are ok, and coping with the ideas of what lies ahead.

SR I can see your picture, and it is lovely!

Kurri I can see your too [sparkle being pleased with herself emoticon needed] What lovely family you have.

If I can work out how to do it, and just restrict it to you guys then I will add some photos too, my entire profile is non existant at moment.

Quick run down on sparkle's life at the moment....
Off to see dear friends for three days tomorrow, too khackered to pack, so dc will have strange thngs to wear over next few days

Saw GP yesterday and ds referral to spinal specialist was turned down 3 months ago, no reason given, no-body told that he was refused. GP chasing, me and dh screaming in frustration.

dla reconsideration in post, thank you LJ

GP says ds now lost so much weight that he is now failing to thrive, clinical term apparently, community paeds already picked him up appointment next week, and only saw gp at 7.00pm yesterday...I love this man, he is married to a dear friend too so extra love for him.

Final bit of my scar has come away and I now realsie I have a stitch, maybe two which have not "disolved", but sore not sure what to do. Think I might have my friend we are going to see and who is a vet, have a look! Vet doctor...all the same really, and after I have had middle aged men and medical students poke mt breasts I have no pride left anyway?

Sorry, as Terry Wogan would say....me, me, me.

Love to you all, I will catch up with all your news properly after the weekend, and the kids being back at school.

have and [biscuits] from me.

O Sparkle, I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time. Your poor DS not thriving. I hope you have a nice few days away and treat yourself to something while there - even if it is seeing the vet!

Must admit I'd be tempted to pull those stitches out myself. I had one lurking under my arm for ages last year and no-one realised it was there for weeks. A Health visitor finally spotted it.

TMI warning - after I'd had my first baby things were um, pretty patched up down below. One day I went to the loo, saw into my knickers, and thought, 'Oh no, on top of anaemia, new baby and total exhaustion, now I've got worms!'

It was the stitches dropping out

The nurse told me I had 'rather a friable vagina' it renders you speechless doesn't it - or makes me fall about laughing actually - the mind boggles.

Sorry Sparkle - that's probably unhelpful.Its hysteria on finding I've managed to post some pix.

And lovely pix they are too SR! And Kurri's!

It's lovely to put faces to names

I have tried and tried. Some photos just would not load at all, too big maybe. Only one success has been a very old and not representative (ie glam ) one of dh and me - from May 2007! There are very few pics of us together, or me, as it's usually me wielding the camera. Will try to find some more recent pics, inc some of the boys.

Have made photos visible to 'mates' only and hope I have not missed anyone out! xx

Sparkle - some internal stitches can take quite a while to dissolve, anything sticking out can be snipped off - your vet should sort you out . Poor you and DS re his weightloss. I hope the paed is useful next week. Hope you have a lovely few days away and that DS eats lots!

Hi, can I creep in and say Hi? I was diagnosed with breast cancer about 2 weeks ago and have been in a haze ever since. So scary! How do you deal with it?

I start chemo next Thursday, I wish it could be sooner as now I'm feeling that the cancer is there and just growing while I wait? Saying that, I'm also scared about the whole thing and wish it would go away.

I had a a phonecall about a wig fitting appointment for next week. It makes it all so real :(

LGF - off course you can join us. You are very welcome, I am sad you are here but happy you have found this lovely group, who have given me so much support and fab advice over the last couple of months.

It is very scary indeed and I don't know how we deal with it but we do - and you will - one day at a time.

I was diagnosed on 16th Dec - 3 lumps, IDC, grade 2. Had to wait until 13th Jan for surgery. They found a bit more in one lymph node so further surgery to remove all lymph nodes on 4th Feb. Two of us here are waiting to start our chemo. I am due to start in 3-4 weeks.

I know exactly what you mean about the waiting - can't wait for it to start, don't want it ever to start.

Are you having chemo first and then surgery? xx

Hiya, yes 6 rounds of chemo first and then surgery. I haven't been told the grade which is probably a good thing as it will proably scare me even more but I do know that it has reached a lymph node.

I guess that you just have to have faith in the doctors? Everytime I go to hospital/see a consultant I feel better for a bit and then, like today, I feel down again :(

Figgyroll, who also joined us in January, is having chemo and then surgery just like you.

I am the same with the doctors. It doesn't help that I forget most of what they say and think of all the good questions once I get home! Good job all the lovely women here can fill in the gaps for me . It's totally normal for your emotions to be going up and down - rollercoaster really is the word for it!

Do you know what chemo are you having? Figgy and I are both having FEC, then she's having Taxotere and I'm having Taxol.

Now I know that I am having FEC for the first 3 sessions - does that sound right? Then they said they would see what test results come back as how they will carry on. I'm sure thats what they said.

I tell you something, I turned 40 at the end of January and boy did I panic? Then this? It puts everything else into perspective doesn't it? I keep looking at my 3 young kids and crying? How do you tell them? I have told my daughter a little bit but not enough to worry her. I just wonder how they will cope with the hair loss?

Yes that sounds like it's probably right. FEC is pretty standard first lot of chemo for bc. Presume the test results they are waiting on are biopsies? This will tell them what grade your cancer is and whether it's receptive to hormones or herceptin - that may affect what chemo they give you for the second lot.

I could hardly bear to look at my boys at first either. They are just turned 11 and 7½. How old are your children? Their age affects what to tell them and how. Sounds like you have made a very good start . It must be very hard preparing them for chemo, though, when you don't know for sure yourself which side-effects you might have, and which not. People are affected very differently. I have not really talked to the boys about the chemo yet, will wait until nearer the time. I did tell them at the start that the treatments would make me tired and therefore possibly a bit grumpy.

Re the hair loss, have you been offered the Cold Cap? Some people (but not all) find using this can reduce hair loss. I have been offered it and keep wavering about whether to do it or not. Latest thinking is that I will have a go, as I suspect my boys (and dh) will find my hair loss harder than I would. Children are so very adaptable though. As long as I cover up in public or when they have friends round I'm sure they'll adjust - they do love me very much after all . I have not been offered a wig yet, must chase. I have heard that many wigs nowadays are fab, and it gives you a chance to try out a new style/colour etc if you want!

Of course you can join us LGF - but am very sorry that you have too

I am not surprised you are in a haze,- what a huge thing to get your head round in two weeks.

I was DX 2 and half years ago - but I had surgery first then chemo (also FEC initially), - I think hospitals vary slightly - several people on here have had it the same way round as you will be.

Telling children is very hard, - mine were young adults so a different set of problems - how old are your DC?

I'm sure people with younger Dc than me will be able to give you good advice, but for what it's worth I think children cope fairly well with the physical things like hair loss if you explain it in fairly simple terms (depending on age of course), is it something you could talk to your breast care nurse about? - they are very experienced in helping with the emotional side of the illness.

Anyway welcome again, this is the place to shout, vent, cry, laugh or just chat - whatever you feel like xx

dear god you lot are chatty! apologies for being AWOL (again ) far too much and [tea]!!

welcome to new people- you will soon realise i am the resident loon, but the upside is that if the treatment you need to know about is on offer- i've probably had it

nice to see everyone getting on with things, i had a quick scan but couldn't keep up!

Where is everyone now? I think the originals are all over and done with treatment wise and continuing on tamoxifen (or equivelent) there seems to be some chemo going on for some, and impending surgery too! it's all a bit too much for my addled brain tbh to keep up!

I've been assesed for cost efectiveness, and given the ok for 26 more weeks worth of treatment, no significant change in my scans either way, so not curing it but equally it's not winning! Yey! best news we could have hoped for!

bad news- kitchen flooded, washing machine blew up... i cried very unlike me to get worked up about these things, but we had spent so much time getting it to where it was that to lose the wood floor was a tradgedy at 11pm last night (the machine had a fault that we weren't aware of and the pressure kept building up and blowing the feed pipe off, the first time it happened we put it down to my dodgy plumbing, the second time it filled the kitchen with half an inch of water!) so today we have been appliance shopping, it's now proudly sitting in the kitchen with a dry floor underneath! tomorrow i am going to select the new flooring- can't face ever having to do this again so we're going for vinyl- won't look the same but is at least 'safe' with regards leaks and children!

Went to watch the young farmers prancing again last night- highlight was a particularly fine specimen singing 'let me entertain you' and believe me.... topless and skin tight jeans... he REALLY did! then i caught a lift home (15 miles!) in a tractor with my nephew

hope everyone's coping with half term, we're having a great time so far... but the whinging is starting "I'm bored..." "where are we going today..." "Muuuuuuum, i'm hungry (repeat ad nauseum!)"

Sparkle if you're still up - have a lovely break, I'm glad your GP is fighting your corner with DS, and yes I would get the stitches out if you can (a practice nurse will do it, - or your vet friend)

Have you looked at the Breast Cancer Care website yet? They have a handy checklist here for getting through chemo. I have printed it out but although it's quite daunting, do remember it's only a guide - you won't need everything on it, not everyone gets the same side effects.

This is a bit like the blind leading the blind though - I haven't had my chemo yet either, you'll be getting much better advice soon from the other ladies here who have been through it and are out the other side, healthy and happy and growing their hair back!

Well done for being cost effective RWU and for being 'no change' on the scans that's definitely worth a or two

Sorry to hear about the floor, what a shame

Steady on with those young farmers

Click on my profile if you want to see photos.

with regards to chemo- everyone copes differently, my best advice is..... (drumroll please).... if you suddenly feel the urge for something (ben and jerry's in my case!) just eat it, i find ice cream is fantastic as i usually get mouth ulcers, but the barley water someone suggested made me hurl... just go with it! all the best for those just starting chemo- with nearly 3 years experience i can tell you it is tough, but there are good days and bad, the important thing is to make the best of the good days and try to forget the bad ones, it'll be over before you know it

LJ - meant to say that's a lovely photo you look very glam., ditto your DH, lovely dress (you not your Dh obv. )

Ooops sorry - that last was for LGF of course!

Phew! People who know what they're talking about and can express it much better than me are here!

RWU - hello! We haven't 'met' yet but I know you as the woman who 'accidentally' buys horses and then falls off them? That is a bugger about your washing machine and floor. Lino is a great option for spillages and dirt - we have it in the house we bought last year, just a terracotta tile kind of pattern. You can get some really snazzy ones nowadays. Your night out with the YF sounds - you are as bad as Cakes with her 'ripped' dance troupe!! Letches the pair of you!

Not keen on barley water at the best of times! Thanks for that tip

My children are 7, 5 (almost) and 3. I just don't want them to reject me because of my hair loss. I know that my youngest has become clingy to my partner over the past couple of weeks, when he used to be such a Mummy's boy. I have found it so hard.

I was offered cold cap but turned it down. So many other things to deal with and I just want to get on with the treatment. There is so much to deal with!

Anyway, I need to get some sleep, which means i will fall asleep for about 3-4 hours then wake up, panic and then fall in and out of sleep until the kids wake up! Luckily, they are pretty good and wan't be until about 7-7.30am.

Thank you for letting me join in. It helps :)

lol @ LJ, i don't often fall off, but i did buy a new steed by accident on monday she is a beautiful bay dressage horse, a few years from her best and looking for a 'sympathetic ride' according to the auctioneer, i fear i am not all that sympathetic- more 'chunky and hardwearing' but hey she looks good so far

If it helps anyone i've not used the cold cap for some time, it gave me an awful headache (which when you consider the ammount of toxic chemical being pumped in) was not a good prospect! i quite enjoy the bald and carefree look... it means i fit into a childs riding hat- saves £40

I can't keep up with all these posts - but welcome LGF - it sounds as if you've already had advice from people so I can't offer anything else except a comforting hand on the shoulder,if tht's ok.
RWU - saw your washing machine report on facebook - eek- your poor floor
Am soo tired and everything aches - my neck and my hands even-do you think it's stress ?