Update on Rindercella's DH

[Rindercella]

Apologies for putting my name in the thread title - it seems so self important but I don't mean it to be. So many of you offered so much help, support and fantastic advice, I just wanted to let you know where we are at. Previous threads here and here.

DH was diagnosed with advanced metastatic prostate cancer with secondary lymph node cancer in May last year, when our DD2 was just 5 weeks old. 9 months on and things are very far from well. DH's health has unfortunately really deteriorated since then. Particularly since Christmas he is suffering so much more pain and discomfort. He can now barely eat and is just so, so weak.

He saw his oncologist yesterday and he is to start a course of chemotherapy starting next Wednesday. He also needs a blood transfusion next week (and thank you to everyone who gives blood, what a brilliant thing you do).

He is a very, very ill man. It is so bloody hard to see the man I love so very much waste away. There is no prognosis. I know he is going to die from this fucking awful disease. I just don't know when.

I am getting counselling, which is definitely helping me. And my SIL is now more or less living with us which is so fanastic I cannot tell you - her being here helps us all so much, and it helps her and it helps the rest of their family, knowing that she is here. I actually don't know how I coped for the last couple of months before her arrival. I am still manically busy, and that's with an extra person helping me. I think DD1 feels it very much too and is especially clingy to me and she really hates me leaving her (eg when I drop her off at preschool).

Mostly this seems so surreal. Like I am not really typing these words. Cancer. Chemo. Only pallative. My darling husband. Those things just shouldn't be joined together. But they are and it is very, very painful.

I hope that the chemo does make DH feel better (I understand that he is likely to have bad days following the treatment). The worst pain for him is in his bones. He sometimes screams out with the pain. Just heartbreaking.

Does anyone have andy advice on how best to help him through his chemo?

Wishing you strength at this time x

In my thoughts and prayers Rindercella. x

I'm so sorry, Rinders. I don't know what to say really, other than I'm so sorry this happening to your family.

Wishing you all the strength and hope in the world x

Keeping you and your lovely family in my thoughts. x

I'm fairly new to MN and have just caught up with your heart breaking situation. My thoughts are with you all. Just focus on family time. You are doing an amazing job. Sending hugs.

To be honest, words are failing me.

know that we are all sending you strength, hope, love and f**ng bloodymindness to help see you and your family through the coming days and weeks.

i've read your posts before (longtime lurker) and always felt i really had nothing to add - i dont - but wanted you to know you and your girls are in my thoughts.

Another lurker here, wishing you strength and courage to get you both through this. Take care. I'm not particularly religious but am sending positive thoughts your way x

I've read your posts before and I've never known what to say, but have always been struck by how amazingly strong you sound.

Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and your family, and sending you love and prayers.

New to the thread aswell and sending you strength and support from Albuquerque (from a Irish mummy a long way from home & family)

Thank you for sharing your life, your courage, your amazing strength with us all here during this very harrowing time for you, your DH and your DD's.
Hope on the days you feel you have no strength left that we can help you,support you and listen to all your fears and worries.

I cant imagine going through this...watching your Dear Husband go through this dreadful disease.

Your DD1 is such a wonderful little girl to help out getting ready for bed.

thinking of you & your family and sending you a for luck hoping your DH gets some much needed rest and relief in the days and weeks ahead

I have read your threads before, but never commented. I just don't know what to say. I can't imagine how you feel. I just hope that the thought that people who have never met you will be thinking of you gives you some strength to face such a nightmare.
The love that exists in your family is so apparent when you write. I hope that love grows even stronger in the days and weeks ahead.
God bless you all xxx

thinking of you all tonight x

Hope you had a peaceful night Rinders and that DH is doing ok.

Morning Rindercella - thinking of you and yours today.

Thinking of you all, hope you all have had a peaceful night.

Wishing you peace and a better day today.x

Hope you both managed to get some sleep last night and that your poor DH is more comfortable today x

Another lurker, rinders - your DH is in my prayers. Too many wonderful people are battling this horrific disease at the moment. All so sad. Hope you are staying strong. Big big hugs.

Another lurker here.

Just wanted to say you and your family are in my thoughts. I'm not a praying person normally but am making an exception this time.

Wishing you all the strength in the world x

Thinking of you all Rindercella. Hope you have all had a peaceful night. x

Hope your DH had a comfortable night last night.

Thinking of you all x

I remember reading your other thread - your family are all in my thoughts and prayers

I am so sorry x.

Rinders - if you want the children taking next Thursday to Blenheim - holler. I can give you my cell number and can be back in forty minutes at most if necessary from there. Or to the hospice in 50.

Rinders, I can't put what I feel better than astar did: 'love is the most important force in the universe and I hope that your life is filled with it to the end of time.' Hope things become more stable and comfortable for Richard and that you and your family have an easier, better weekend.

And what an amazing woman you are, at a time like this, to be concerned about talking to everyone here individually. I wish I was half the woman you are.

Thinking and praying for you all and wishing you so much love and comfort x x

Wishing you a peaceful night