Update on Rindercella's DH

[Rindercella]

Apologies for putting my name in the thread title - it seems so self important but I don't mean it to be. So many of you offered so much help, support and fantastic advice, I just wanted to let you know where we are at. Previous threads here and here.

DH was diagnosed with advanced metastatic prostate cancer with secondary lymph node cancer in May last year, when our DD2 was just 5 weeks old. 9 months on and things are very far from well. DH's health has unfortunately really deteriorated since then. Particularly since Christmas he is suffering so much more pain and discomfort. He can now barely eat and is just so, so weak.

He saw his oncologist yesterday and he is to start a course of chemotherapy starting next Wednesday. He also needs a blood transfusion next week (and thank you to everyone who gives blood, what a brilliant thing you do).

He is a very, very ill man. It is so bloody hard to see the man I love so very much waste away. There is no prognosis. I know he is going to die from this fucking awful disease. I just don't know when.

I am getting counselling, which is definitely helping me. And my SIL is now more or less living with us which is so fanastic I cannot tell you - her being here helps us all so much, and it helps her and it helps the rest of their family, knowing that she is here. I actually don't know how I coped for the last couple of months before her arrival. I am still manically busy, and that's with an extra person helping me. I think DD1 feels it very much too and is especially clingy to me and she really hates me leaving her (eg when I drop her off at preschool).

Mostly this seems so surreal. Like I am not really typing these words. Cancer. Chemo. Only pallative. My darling husband. Those things just shouldn't be joined together. But they are and it is very, very painful.

I hope that the chemo does make DH feel better (I understand that he is likely to have bad days following the treatment). The worst pain for him is in his bones. He sometimes screams out with the pain. Just heartbreaking.

Does anyone have andy advice on how best to help him through his chemo?

I am so sorry to hear of your DHs illness. Thinking of you all x

Rinders- nothing I can say will help- but please know and Believe how much love, support and thoughts are with you today from me and everyone else. Xxxxxxxx

So sorry to see this, Rindercella

Thinking of you all and your girls xx

How are you today Rinders? Am holding you, DH and your kids in my thoughts and prayers. With love XX

Sending you and your girls much love and strength from Dubai. Thinking of you all and wishing it wasn't so grim ...

XXX

Thinking of you and your family Rinders

V quick update before I crash for a couple of hours. DH back at the hospital for acute treatment. He rallied really well yesterday evening but has gone downhill again today. He just cannot sleep as he cannot get comfortable and is just wired. I stayed with DH last night and so haven't slept since 4.30 yesterday morning.

I just don't know what to think - everything is so confused. But, realistically I really don't think he has very long left. Perhaps it is weeks rather than days, if we're lucky. But I don't think we can hope for any more than that.

I have got loads of help and support. Both sides of family are being great. Last night was the first night I had ever spent away from the DDs.

Thank you all so much for your lovely kind words, thoughts, prayers and gifts. I can't give much time to anyone individually at the moment, but I will do I promise.

hope you manage to get some sleep, Rinders. strength to you for the coming days and hopefully weeks and more.

big hug x

Don't worry about feeling you have to reply to people individually. I am sure nobody wants you to feel under more pressure.

I hope you get some sleep. And I hope DH keeps on rallying for you.

Rinders - we don't need individual replies lovey x Just update us when you can and call in for a hug when you want to... we are here to support you, please don't feel under any pressure to reply. The girls will be fine with your family & friends for as much time as you can spend with DH. Sleep when you can, eat when you can and spend as much time with DH as you can - that is all that matters right now xxx

Strength to you Rinders - this is such an unfair disease and it's not right that you, your DH and girls are having to face this situation. Thinking of you xxxxxxx

Thinking of you all, I hope you get as much time as possible together

Praying for your family here x

Rinders, we are here for you - please don't think you need to be here for us! No one expects that. All that matters is spending time with your precious DH.

I can't express how sorry I am to have found the pattern of recent events so familiar. My brother's decline was similarly sudden and shocking, so shocking. I really, really wish you weren't going through this. It is just wrong.

Sending you so much support and wishing comfort and rest for Richard. As someone said to me during a dark time, love is the most important force in the universe and I hope that your life is filled with it to the end of time.

You are all in my thoughts. xx

Someone else thinking of you - just sorry we can't do more. x

Still thinking of you Rindercella. All my regards to you and the family. Don't forget to take care of yourself too.

I read this thread last night and you've been in my thoughts all day, i just wanted to say how very sorry I am for what you and your family are going through, you sound totally amazing and inspirational and wish you lots of strength at this awful difficult time. Thinking of you and your family, big hugs x

I am so sorry x

Prayers and hugs for you, Rinders, your DH and your whole family.

I've only just seen this thread, but having it read it through I am so so sorry to see what a terrible time you have been having. You sound like a really lovely family, and my heart goes out to you all. Eill be thinking of you all x

I don't know what to say, but I am so sorry you are going through this... sending you, your DH and your girls all the strength you need right now

xxx

Rinders, i have been following your thread since it begun, from the first shock, through to hope, and to where you are now. Your strength, courage and honesty has touched me, and it has brought back memories long buried, but now I feel you need all the support that we here on mn can give & so I send love, comfort and admiration to you at this most difficult, painful time.