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Original poster

Looking for a cure for my phobia

173 replies

Lonelymum · 10/10/2005 14:32

OMG I have just rung up a charity that offers group behavioural therapy, discussed my phobia with someone over the phone and she is sending me details to join one of the groups. I feel completely wrung out and can't stop crying, but it is a step I have to take. O M G.

OP posts:

Aimsmum · 11/10/2005 20:11

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Heartmum2Jamie · 11/10/2005 20:16

Well done on making the phone call LM. Coming from another emetophobic, I can understand how difficult it must have been. I looked at the website, but the nearest group is 45 minutes away by train.

How is your dd now?

Eeek · 11/10/2005 20:16

Hiya. I used to be phobic about flying. Before a holiday I would have nightmares for about 3 months. I used to fly on a mixture of valium and half a bottle of whisky! What you're feeling is perfectly normal for us phobic types. I had treatment and can now fly but I still don't really like it. Just keep going. The treatment will help. You will find the first session hard, the second one easier and so on. You can do it!

HTH

Original poster

Lonelymum · 11/10/2005 20:26

I am just not sure I liked the sound of the treatment: the woman on the phone was telling me I would have to slowly do little things that I found hard and that she had a whole shelf of videos on vomiting that I would one day be able to watch. I found that really frightening. Also, I can't think of what little things I could do to gradually lessen my phobia. And I don't want to watch videos of people throwing up. Honestly, would anyone who was not an emetophobe want to do that?

I found another website today that claimed you could be cured with one consultation on the phone and one Harley Street session costing £200. They didn't go in for desensitising but I didn't really understand what they did. The website looked convincing and professional but a cure in one session? They must be charlatans, mustn't they?

But I am reaching the point wher I feel I will grab any therapy. I am gettin so much worse.

BTW, thanks for your enquiries. Dd seems to be on the mend. Dh won't be persuaded to stay but I am going so mad here, he might yet have to. I am just waiting for the boys to get ill now.

OP posts:

Eeek · 11/10/2005 20:31

it really is tiny steps - so a spider phobic might look at a picture, eventually touch a picutre, be in the same room as a spider etc etc. Each step is horrible but then you suddenly realise how far you've come. Obviously no-one in their right mind wants to watch videos of others being sick but non-phobics aren't frighted as you are, they're bored. You will eventually get to that point. From there you'll find dealing with the reality easier. It'll never be fun (as flying isn't for me) but it won't be terrifying and it won't disable your life any more.

Original poster

Lonelymum · 11/10/2005 20:34

Aren't non-phobics disgusted when they see someone throw up? Are they really just bored by it? I really don't know what is normal anymore.

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crazydazy · 11/10/2005 20:37

Oh poor you Lonelymum, hope DD is much better now!!!

As you know I know EXACTLY how you feel about this debilitating phobia!!!! Every night I am waiting for my kids to get the "dreaded bug", have touched wood as I don't want to tempt fate!!!

Last year my DD complained of a pain that she had had all day at school and I just knew exactly what it was, insisted DP was there the whole time and then she threw up and was fine!! But then I spent the next week waiting for us all to "catch it", she was the only one though so I think it must have been something that disagreed with her.

I am lucky as DP stopped working away as he couldn't see me so upset every time he went so my heart goes out to you with regard to your DP working away. Its so frightening when you are alone at night believe me I know.

My thoughts are with you!!!

Aimsmum · 11/10/2005 20:38

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Lonelymum · 11/10/2005 20:39

Thank you crazydazy, I know you understand. We could be identical twins separated at birth, the way we both feel about this. Unfortunately you got the right man! My dh just can't (won't) find a job that doesn't take him away.

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crazydazy · 11/10/2005 20:41

Just read your post Eeeek. My sister is like that, she doesn't have a phobia and when her DD wakes through the night with a bug she is more upset by the fact that her DD has woken her from her sleep than by the fact that DD is throwing up everywhere. I would love to be able to comfort my child through the night and be bored by the whole situation, but just can't see it happening tbh. Tried cognitive behavioural therapy but was scared off by a very offensive "puke tape" that I had to listen to. It traumatised me for weeks!!!!

Original poster

Lonelymum · 11/10/2005 20:41

Aimsmum, what are the pictures of? I know you were offering me a relaxation tape, but I don't remember you mentioning any pictures.

OP posts:

crazydazy · 11/10/2005 20:46

Unfortunately most men think the phobia we have is pathetic!! DP has got really angry with me before over the way in which I panic!! Trouble is the kids want me more than him when they are ill and he just wants them to feel better

Does he look after them when they are ill when he is at home? I am alone with the kids through the day but just seem to cope better in daylight!!!! When the night draws in the panic sets in.

Aimsmum · 11/10/2005 20:46

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crazydazy · 11/10/2005 20:48

I tried to look at some pictures on the website emetophobia.org.uk but could only look at the first set. Even though they explained what was behind the pictures it was still too scary to look. I even made DP look at them first and they were the ones that weren't very scary!!! He looked at them all and just said "been there done that" to the really bad ones!!!

Original poster

Lonelymum · 11/10/2005 20:51

No I am sorry Aimsum, I don't think I could handle that right now. But thanks for letting me know something like that exists! I shall be careful when googling emetophobia from now on!

Crazydazy, yes I am ten times worse at night too. Somehow it is to do with being taken by surprise and also, not having the mental and physical reserves to be able to deal with it. I wasn't bad when dd threw up yesterday as we were on our way home from school so I had no mess to clear up (well, minimal on her clothes) and she had the bucket with her from then on (but didn't need it in the end) so the whole situation was more controlled. Sorry, unnecessary details, but I can't help myself.

Yes, dh does a lot to help when he is there and I wouldn't say he was unsympathetic to my phobia, but he won't not go to work for me (well, he won't not go on this trip abroad) I am getting so worked up.

OP posts:

Aimsmum · 11/10/2005 20:55

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crazydazy · 11/10/2005 20:56

I bet you are, I would be too, I cried every night when DP was telling me he was going away, I could not stop thinking about it. Its so very hard and nobody understands the level of fear we feel when there is a stomach bug going around!!!

Hope you are okay, will be thinking of you tonight honey!!! Try not to worry although I know myself its easier said than done!!!

Original poster

Lonelymum · 11/10/2005 20:58

I don't know and I don't care! I am sorry that must sound awful but I have reached such a low point. He said he would stay if anyone else got ill but I can't sit here and hope someone else does as I know how upset I will be that one of my sons or me or dh is ill.

Not so long ago one of his colleagues had to cut short a trip because his wife was ill so I can't see why dh can't do the same for me. As I see it, I have a mental illness.

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Aimsmum · 11/10/2005 21:02

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Original poster

Lonelymum · 11/10/2005 21:06

No Aimsmum, I really don't know anyone. Not like where I used to live (although like you, I don't think I could call someone in the night anyway). I am so desperate, today one of my neighbours came round to invite me to something and I mentioned to her that I have a phobia of my children being ill (see, I wasn't too specific) because I had a wild hope that she would offer to help, but of course she looked at me oddly and said "Oh" and changed the subject. I don't normally tell people about it, so you can see how desperate I am.

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Aimsmum · 11/10/2005 21:11

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Original poster

Lonelymum · 11/10/2005 21:13

That was how I used to be Aimsmum. Now I am afraid, I am f*cked up all the time. That is why I am desperate for help. It is becoming a 24 hour 7 days a week thing for me.

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foxinsocks · 11/10/2005 21:14

lonelymum, I'd be wary of those Harley Street claims - most of them will have small print somewhere saying that you need more than 1 session if you have a complicated phobia (which no doubt accounts for most of them).

Well done for starting the ball rolling with your therapy - that sounds like a good approach. Good luck.

Original poster

Lonelymum · 11/10/2005 21:15

Well done foxinsocks! I have already seen that small print saying exactly what you said it would1

OP posts:

Aimsmum · 11/10/2005 21:19

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