Post-birth sex...OUCH

[lurcherlover]

OK, so DS is 12 weeks old now and up until now I've been too sore initially and then just too bloody knackered for sex, but I decided last night it was finally time to get back in the saddle, as it were...and it was AGONY. He barely got inside before we had to stop. I had a second-degree tear after DS presented with shoulder dystocia and had stitches afterwards, but I've felt fine for weeks so I was sure it was all healed. The weird thing is the pain is coming from the edge of my vagina, but at the front rather than the perineum side which is where my stitches were. There was a lot of blood afterwards too so I must have tore something. Is this likely to be birth-related or just me being too tense as it was the first time? And do I persevere or see the GP? Really feeling I'll never have sex again right now

Poor you

FWIW I had a 2nd degree tear after DC1 and DC2 and sex did not feel completely normal until about 8-9m later. It wasn't painful for all that time, but it wasn't completely fine, IYKWIM

I didn't bleed ever, though. Might be worth checking with your GP?

3m is still only a short time... did you use loads of lube? That can help things along (and if you're BF it's worth using, too)

Yep, we piled the lube on. Did use a condom tho which probably didn't help as I always find them "drier" somehow...GP has given me Cerazette but I haven't started taking it as I wasn't sure about giving DS hormones in my breastmilk (just being paranoid really, I'm sure it's fine) but maybe I should start taking it so we can lose the condoms. I think part of the problem is I wasn't as turned on as usual as I don't like DH touching my boobs in case he gets sprayed with milk, and also I find the idea of him touching them and then me going to feed DS a bit icky somehow...it's as if at the moment in my head they're just for feeding, not for sex. But I'm not sure how to get round that??

From my experience (bf 3 babies) it does 'dry you out' a bit (hormonally, I think) Probably nature's way of preventing another pregnancy too soon

IME sex kind of goes on the back-burner for about a year after the baby is born. DP completely gets why this is (for the reasons you outlined, really!) and luckily he is not a fuckwit who gets all pressure-y or stressy about the vacant libido

Plus I'd rather sleep, frankly

Meant to add: the libido does return - fear not

Lurcherlover - I'm with you on that! I can't bear to be touched anywhere near my boobs, they're just not a sexual object right now. DD is also 12 weeks old.

She is my 3rd though and later on I know I'm able to separate the two, even when still feeding.

After my first two DC's I found sex very painful and thought there was something seriously wrong. Went to GP who said nothing physically wrong (had an episiotomy with DD1) and that she sees many people who are nervous it will hurt and tense up so much that it does, even without realising. She called it vaginismus. Once I knew this, I tried again, really relaxed, took it very slowly and was fine.

I didnt bleed though, I think it may be worth checking.