Friend ill again with infection, what are the chances of death - and drs in the house?

[ChangedMyMind]

I am a regular but this is a very hard subject for me to consider so have name changed.

My friend has a catheter after some surgery went wrong, she is now very immobile. She has recurrent urine infections despite being on permanent low level antibiotics to prevent them.

She has become allergic/irritated by most of the catheters and they are down to one antibiotic that seems to clear the urine infections.

I have found out the reason she isn't responding to my contact at the moment is because she is sleeping all the time/very confused do to another serious infection.

I really need to know if ultimately either this time or the next, or the one after that etc is she going to get to the point where she doesn't recover from one of these infections?

Thank you in advance

How worrying for you. What's the background? Why the catheters?

Confusion and UTI's go hand in hand. They are very connected.

Worrying as in one day my best friend will be dead way before her time, with little warning, we live 100s of miles apart I can no longer take my dc with me when I visit.

She has a catheter due to I presume nerve damage. She was in a wheelchair before the last surgery and is now bed bound, she needs a catheter and has had one for 2 years so I am assuming that this is now a forever thing rather than temporary.

I haven't felt able to have a frank conversation with her about whether she is likely to die from one of these infections as understandably it's hard enough to accept her condition is life limiting anyway.

I know the confusion and UTI's go hand in hand, there is only 1 antibiotic left that works for her, what happens if she becomes resistant to that, how likely is that to happen to someone who is not in good health generally?

Well they are constantly finding new antibiotics, or combining existing ones

It sounds very complicated

Come back pleeeeeeeeeeeease......

Typo in title "any" drs in the house!

Off out to collect DD

Antibiotic resistance is a worry for DH too

She Complex Regional Pain Syndrome and is very severely affected by it as it went undiagnosed for over a decade

www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/reflex_sympathetic_dystrophy/reflex_sympathetic_dystrophy.htm

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no idea here, but hate to see you sliding down list of active convos

Hi.
My mum's been catheterised for the past 12 months. Is there a pattern in the frequency of her infections? My mother gets them when the catheter is changed, perhapse your friend needs a higher dose of antibiotics when it's changed?

I suppose I'm thinking

Resistant to all but one antibiotic for UTIs
Frequently getting severe UTI's due to immobility and catheters
Reacting to catheters, possibly only one kind that she can now use - what happens if she becomes allergic to that?

It's not good is it?

She's the only "family" I have apart from dh and dcs but I'm not "family" so not kept in the loop.

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I don't think there is a pattern, I think she is not using silver coated catheters due to the allergy issue.

Perhaps you should make arrangements to go and visit her as soon as you can anyway?

It sounds as though you are waiting to be told that she might not make it before actually doing anything.

I agree with bibbity. You never know what's going to happen in the future, she may be OK for a long while. They are coming up with new materials and new medications all the time so try not to give up hope.

It's not so much this time in particular I just feel it's a case of it could be anytime, next month, 6 months, 12 months.

I'm not even sure that there are visiting hours as such where she is, is a 5 hour drive minimum and I work full time

I suppose I want to hear that I'm concerned over nothing and this is unlikely to happen but don't know and drs to ask, and her drs aren't going to give out that sort of information to me as I'm not next of kin.

They are usually flexible with visiting times if a friend or relative can't get there at their times because of work/children etc. Call and ask them. All you can do is be there for her. Do you have someone to support you in real life?

There is the option of a suprapubic catheter

Do you have any contact with her partner/family?

If so I think I would be speaking to them.

They presumably know what good friends you are so I can't imagine they would deliberately keep you out of the loop.

I'm not sure how you would word it with them but I think you might need to get an honest picture from them as to what is happening, what the prognosis is etc.

I can contact her Mum, they are a very tightly knit family so although they know we are very close friends I am surplus to requirements IYSWIM. She may already have auprapubic catheter as she had some sort of surgery to do with her catheter a few months ago.

I think her Mum and I are similar in that we don't want to discuss the situation (all on-line) because we have the same fears???

Her long term prognosis is one of things only getting worse as it's a degenerative condition.

My dh tries to support me but apart from cuddles there isn't anything he can do I just need to come to terms with the situation as it is I guess. Hopefully our mutual friend will be able to free up some time and we can go up together again and at least share the driving otherwise I have to stay over.