She ain't heavy, she's LIGHTER.

[BitterAndTwistedGoreDodger]

Hello, I'm Bitter and I'm a bit porky.

Feel free to join us for healthy eating and chat.

No rules, no clique, just a bunch of posters who are fabulous and talk too much.

I am so YOU where men are concerned Double.

If I feel 'safe' and no sexual tension I can babble away happily but the minute I like someone.. jesus.. I actually have physical 'symptoms' of my ineptness.

Not that you are like me in that sense. I am sure.

Pasta here too.. mmmmm cheesy pasta

Loving some of my customers..... just bringing me a 'bit' of work..bless.. Will keep the wolf from the door though. The bit we haven't had to eat lol!

I have had to throw half a freezer of food away because DD and her mates unplugged it for one of their hair brained schemes. It is the third time they have done it. It makes me choke.

So we are having fish fingers, pasta and tinned sweetcorn That'll learn em!

saf - i just made fish pie, you inspired me...

1. walk to kitchen
2. take box out of freezer
3. read instructions
4. put in microwave for 10 mins
5. let stand for 1 min
6. feed to dc and tell them 'mummy made it'

dubs - he might be waiting for you to mention it though

I thought that Brian... maybe he is too polite to ask Dubs?

frets alongside brian. gentle text reminder re:wedding

You are all playing bloody scrabble aren't you!

nope, just being perfectionist over my book review!

Good. Then I at least I am not alone!

Dubs - I used to hate homework. Now I love doing it with DD!

Brickie - What book are you reviewing?

I have messed up on dinner tonight, wrong ingredients bought, ho hum, so we had take-away burger and fries and I may have snuck in some onion rings so will pong like a gudden tomorrow!!

Good job I'm not snogging any of you lushies!!

Dubs - I am so like that at the moment. I could eat and eat. Especially as it gets colder.

I bought some beef, onion, french mustard and red wine soup. I'm going to have it for lunch one day this week as a treat. But I want it now with hot crusty bread.

I may go POP before my period finishes!!!

I have just been in a 'row' with DC's Dad and feel a bit deflated. DS was being got at on MSN by lass (He was here so I could go K boxing but I haven't done as I have no money and am in a lot of period pain).

He was quite arsey about things and DS got funny with him, then when I tried to talk to him, he goes into how hard it is for him to help and to engage because he 'isn't here for the subtleties and nuances'. That he can't have a proper relationship with them because of how much he does/doesn't see them.

He still feels he should be 'let back home' (so it is my fault that his relationship with DC's suffers).

There were a number of small things that DS picked up.... He was teasing DD and tickling her and then shouting at her for flapping about near Hot drinks, but not stopping the tickling.

I could go on and on, but it has made me very sad and as if I am just trapped in this loop. Partly why I don't come on much now. I have even thought maybe I should agree to him coming back so he can do what he claims he would for the kids if he were here.. but it was hell .

I am not doing so good. And I don't know how to anymore because it is just one battle to another, and I don't have all the answers.
DS's court case comes up soon, and I am very uneasy about it all.
I hate feeling like this and try to be positive but fucking hell, sometimes I feel that I have given all that I can and there are no reserves.

I am sorry all......

I'm going to bed, I don't want the kids to see me crying.

, luvs ya all xx

Mittz.

You need to sort this once and for all. XH treats YOU like shite. He uses YOU for his own failings. He projects his guilt at letting the DC down onto YOU.

Why on earth would you let him move back in when you have got this far without him?

Yes, DS has his court case coming up but how on earth would having your abusive X back in the house help?

It wouldn't. And you know that.

You have to stop letting him hurt you now Mittz. Enough is enough. He has to stop. xxxxx

Mittz - have you had any support from an organisation like WA? I know that you are going through some sort of counselling, but wonder if something specifically geared towards coping with abusive family might be helpful too. You can't let him back for such negative reasons that he has worn you down by treating you like shite. Would it really be in your DS's interest to let him back? He had all those years of living with you and the kids to prove himself. I don't know much about your DS' court case - understandably you haven't mentioned it much - but DS has to be the priority. Not a whining ex H.

Off to bed now lushies. I hope you all have restful nights.

Dubs - tell the teacher I ate your homework if you like.

At the docs to have my bumps felt again tomorrow.

Happy days

Night night xxxx

Miitz - i don't know all the background but i do know from what you have said that he has treated you and ds like shit. I don't think it would be good to let him move back and certainly not just because he is wearing you down with his guilt trips.

Is he having counselling?

He's being an arse.

I don't know about the court case, pm me if you want to talk xx

Fish pie was NOT eaten. Massive screaming and crying in front of my parents, then the baby started. Great arsenic hour as per usual

Bloods not back, apparently 'urgent same day' isn't errm 'same day'

off to bed, hope you're all ok and bitter hope work was good xx