now have imagine of bitter as matt whateverhisname is. 
can i have some advice please? im sorry im always going on about twatty ex. He usually comes up every 5 weeks for 5 hours. Perhaps 3 times a year he has dd down where he lives for an overnight.
He lives 2.5 hours away from us, 2 if no traffic.
2 problems - recently he's come up every 4 weeks (last 3 times) but this time he's sent a text this am, saying he's coming up on x and that works out to be 5 weeks again. We've asked why and he's said his dad has to drive him and his dad is away on hol (that is true).
He's on roughly £16k i reckon (should be on £50k but hasn't got a job in his line yet). He pays no rent/bills but does pay me £35 a week for dd. He's always saying he can't afford petrol. If he was paying normal rent/bills is £16k enough to live on fairly happily? (i dont drive so know nothing re petrol costs)
He says he has to come up with his dad because his car is SORN and he cant afford to fix it.
HOW do I explain to dd why her dad wants to see her so little? (i heard her the other day call dp her dad when she was talking to someone else but she doesnt normally). Do I discuss it with her? She is starting to ask aNnd I don't know what to say.
2nd prob - shes started not wanting to talk to him on the phone. He was ringing twice a week (at our suggestion 
) but shes started saying she only wants to talk to him once a week and when he does phone she can be quite rude to him. ive tried teling her off, talking to her about politeness etc but she doesnt seem to care.
HOW can I get her to talk more often/more nicely? And should I even be trying?
Sorry for the length (Double!) but I feel like shes getting upset and confused and she wont talk to me about it.
And I did a bad thing. I told her he'd said he wouldnt pay for half her recorder lessons. I know, I know 
I dont know why I told her it was really selfish of me but I just get fed up with pretending all the time that her 'daddy' is a decent human being.