If Labour get in will Keir Starmer eat my children and my pets?

[OldieButBaddie]

I am really concerned that he is a savage, with Rishi (who doesn't really eat) Boris (who clearly only eats lard) and even Liz Truss (too dim to find the dogs/kids) I have felt safe, but Keir Starmer seems to me to be the sort who will seek out, bbq and eat my family.

Look at those gnashers

Should I vote Lib Dem?

Brilliant. 😀I automatically hide all the "If Keir gets in terrible things will happen" posts started by the Tory marketing people. I'm far more concerned about the damage the Tories have already done and how much worse it would get if they stayed in power even longer.

I'm a cat person myself...

Boris is more likely to; after all, he hides in fridges!

The Great British Banger

Assuming you've not gone back to Boris, what we want what we really, really want - nay need - is for all UK channels to show all episodes of Yes Minister and Yes Prime Minister on prime time, an episode a day from now until the eve of polling.

Bingo cards at the ready!!

Ooh, that PROVES it!😂

All pets will be banned because property is theft, owning pets is a patriarchal concept, and the animals have a right to self-determination within the coming communist state.

You might jest but my partner’s cousin who works at the DoT says that he’s going to select kids to take part in hunger games to try and eradicate the feckless and pave the way for a new era of pet munching

The people posting about the impact on their kids with SN, are not Tory marketing people.
but it’s clear that you will ignore us. Well, we’re used to that. Tell me again about how Labour is the party of the good people

You'd all have been safe with Corbyn.

He's vegetarian.

Changes of government are a thing that happens in this country, and the main difference between Labour and Conservative since Thatcher was deposed in 1990 has been over levels of taxation. You won't get sympathy complaining about the impact of a change of government any more than you would complaining about the weather.

Surely we’ll all be stuck drinking Earl Grey because proper tea is theft?

Boris (who clearly only eats lard)
... and cheese and wine

He's more likely to start by eating the rich.
Followed by the babies of the rich.

Terrible.

Don't be ridiculous Op.

It's Angela Rayner you need to worry about. She can move much faster than
Starmer and she won't be as fussy. Us uneducated, working classes will eat anything, anything 👿.

Will Larry be safe?

That would be the fast way to lose the election. After all, who really wants to be in charge right now?

Apparently Sauron is standing down, so maybe the apocalypse will be delayed a while.

I'm a Daily Mail reporter. Thank you for bringing this to our attention @OldieButBaddie. We'll run this disgraceful story as a headline tomorrow so the Great British Public can see THE TRUTH.

He’s a pescatarian
I think you'll find he's a Virgo
If the Tories get in again we'll all be eating our pets

god. How shit a day would you have to have had to feel the need to post something like that. Sending pity your way. A lot of pity.

I'm more worried about my children with SN under this current government tbh

They're already showing on Tuesday nights on BBC4.

No, you're fine - he'll start by eating Jacob Rees Mogg, and he'll be so stringy and taste of tallow it'll put him off eating any further humans.

I don't think it really matters. Regardless of who gets in we'll all be left with a residual income so that lentils (from overseas) and possibly UK sprouts at Christmas is what we'll be left with 😁

And you’re entitled to your perspective, which I sympathise with. I think you have to question, though, how much concern your political fellow travellers really have for you.
the truth is that provision for kids with SN is never anywhere near the top of the list for governments of any kind. The pensioners must have their triple lock - there’s lots of them and they vote. There’s not enough of us.

That's enough to turn even the staunchest catholic vegetarian 😁