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Original poster

DD upset when she Google searches her name - what can we do?

262 replies

IceskaterTwirl · 22/02/2023 07:02

When my DD was much younger (like 2), she was diagnosed with autism. DH and I, with the very best of intentions, got involved with a local autism charity and did various fundraising events, some of which were reported in the local press/TV. We were seeking to destigmitize autism (how naive) and readily agreed to speak about DD being diagnosed with the disability. We were, sincerely, trying to help other parents come to terms with an autism diagnosis!

Fast forward 15 years and, if DD has autism, no one would know. She was quite possibly misdiagnosed as her diagnosis was when she was under 3 years old. She is now in Y13 and heading for at a top RG to do STEM.

When she Googles her name, autism comes up. She is very upset about this and I totally understand why. She rightly observes that future BFs, employers etc will have preconceptions about her and, as I say, she was probably misdiagnosed.

DH and I feel awful that we have put her in this position. Is there anything we can do to remove old news articles from the internet/social media?

OP posts:
Kennykenkencat · 22/02/2023 10:57

Whatevercanbedone · 22/02/2023 10:42

@OutofEverything
People get annoyed with the misdiagnosed with autism because of the narrative that so many of those diagnosed don't really have it.
Our experience of years without support and schools thinking it was parenting. Being sent on parenting courses which just didn't help at all. Meanwhile the child mental health is continuing to worsen.
When finally get the diagnosis, support still has to be battled for. And people will say well it's only really mild or comments like anyone gets a diagnosis these days or childs fine with us.

They see the masked version that is taking a toll every second and that which later will impact the whole family to the point that everyone of us health has worsened due to the stress. But the worse thing is seeing your child in such distress you wonder how much longer before something awful happens.

So concepts like autism lite, mild autism, misdiagnosis feels like someone turning the knife.

Could misdiagnosis happen yes but it is so unbelievable rare/ unlikely that someone is diagnosed with autism when they are NT.
There are countless ND people struggling to get a diagnosis and support through.

It is rare to be diagnosed with something like autism as usually it isn’t diagnosed so early purely because children develop at a slower pace than their peers

The ones that are diagnosed early are the ones that have extreme symptoms.

A bf from when I was younger had a db with autism who was diagnosed at 2/3 years old.
This child was non verbal but would scream to communicate. He would bang his head on the wall repeatedly and other extreme things.
This wasn’t a child developing at a slower rate.

Original poster
IceskaterTwirl · 22/02/2023 10:58

Thank you MNHQ.

OP posts:
WhamBamEatYourSpam · 22/02/2023 11:05

rexythedinosaur · 22/02/2023 07:50

I get why she googled herself but others won't so I doubt they will see if that's what she's bothered about.

@louise5754 People Google each other all the time - potential employers, friends, family. I can completly understand 'what she's bothered about' because they will think she is diagnosed with a condition she doesn't have.

OP, as others have said, look up Right to Be Forgotten and contact Google.

You're wrong, even if it's not her potential employers googling her - all her peers are likely to at some point. People internet stalk nowadays to find people's social media pages. I had internet pages of me from when I was younger that I wanted removed as colleagues could come across them - thankfully I managed to remove all trace and I don't have social media so people can't find me. But it's a horrible feeling wanting to be anonymous and something from your past being on there for the world to access.

WhamBamEatYourSpam · 22/02/2023 11:05

That was directed to @louise5754

Regularsizedrudy · 22/02/2023 11:11

Don’t understand why my comment was deleted? I guess we can’t have autistic voices on a thread about autism 🙄 just proves my point really.

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 22/02/2023 11:12

@CatkinToadflax apologies, hate was a bit much. I just aghast at the abuse OP was getting, and I appreciate that the abuse wasn't coming from you.

Nosecan · 22/02/2023 11:13

Gosh, I am shocked that my comment was deleted and disappointed with the MNHQ update. I didn’t see op being attacked (I may have missed these comments but mine certainly wasn’t one of them).

I absolutely understand the op’s dilemma but making it a discussion about autism was her doing. It didn’t need to be mentioned in the first place.

Nosecan · 22/02/2023 11:13

Gosh, I am shocked that my comment was deleted and disappointed with the MNHQ update. I didn’t see op being attacked (I may have missed these comments but mine certainly wasn’t one of them).

I absolutely understand the op’s dilemma but making it a discussion about autism was her doing. It didn’t need to be mentioned in the first place.

louise5754 · 22/02/2023 11:15

@C4ou56 Was that reply meant for me?

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 22/02/2023 11:15

@Nosecan OP was talking about her problem on her thread. It isn't for you to police what she can or can not say, or what is or isn't acceptable for her DD to feel.

louise5754 · 22/02/2023 11:17

@rexythedinosaur Why would you Google friends and family?

Nosecan · 22/02/2023 11:19

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 22/02/2023 11:15

@Nosecan OP was talking about her problem on her thread. It isn't for you to police what she can or can not say, or what is or isn't acceptable for her DD to feel.

I’m not policing anyone. I’m pointing out that people have the right to comment on any offense caused to them personally. No one would have been offended if the op was worded differently.

louise5754 · 22/02/2023 11:21

@bigdecisionstomake

That doesn't make sense. I understand employers googling but what would show is she's autistic?

louise5754 · 22/02/2023 11:22

What's with all the tags?

Yes employers will so what?

I meant friends, class mates, co workers.

OutofEverything · 22/02/2023 11:22

@Whatevercanbedone I understand why parents who have been disbelieved get angry or upset at the idea that autism can be misdiagnosed. But logically it will be misdiagnosed. It is a subjective diagnosis where some Drs may attribute delays caused by other reasons, or behaviour for other reasons, to autism.
Broken bones that have a clear diagnosis of looking at an x ray are misdiagnosed. Cancer that has clear tests is misdiagnosed. It is rare that someone is told they have cancer, undergoes treatment, and then is told there was a mistake made and they never had cancer - but it does happen.

I do get irritated that only one kind of experience ever seems to be acceptable. In this case the parent struggling to get a diagnosis of autism for their child. The OP is saying clearly that she thinks her DD was misdiagnosed. Do you not think she knows her DD better than anyone here on this thread?

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 22/02/2023 11:26

Nosecan · 22/02/2023 11:19

I’m not policing anyone. I’m pointing out that people have the right to comment on any offense caused to them personally. No one would have been offended if the op was worded differently.

Show quote history

Offense is taken, not given. No need to disarm the world. Just make yourself bullet proof. Sticks & stones people. Block. Unfollow. Laugh

We can not live in a world controlled but the perpetually offended

MarieRoseMarie · 22/02/2023 11:26

Nosecan · 22/02/2023 11:13

Gosh, I am shocked that my comment was deleted and disappointed with the MNHQ update. I didn’t see op being attacked (I may have missed these comments but mine certainly wasn’t one of them).

I absolutely understand the op’s dilemma but making it a discussion about autism was her doing. It didn’t need to be mentioned in the first place.

Just leave her alone. Seriously, you’ve been told. Your comments have been deleted. It’s getting ridiculous.

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 22/02/2023 11:27

*by the

backinthebox · 22/02/2023 11:27

ND child in this household, and you find any trace of that on the internet. Nor will you find any details of the very much misunderstood condition my other DC struggled with at a young age but is very much under control now. Not everything has to be broadcast to everyone everywhere, which is what you are doing when you publish something on the internet, and once you’ve let it loose in the wild it’s hard to get it back under control. If anything, the OP and more importantly the OP’s daughter’s predicament here should serve as a warning to anyone thinking using your own young child as the face of a campaign is a good idea. It can come back to bite. While it important to be aware of and understand that not everyone is the same, you don’t have to plaster a 2 yo everywhere to demonstrate that. A 2 yo cannot give consent, and it has clearly not done her any favours in the long term.

saraclara · 22/02/2023 11:28

Regularsizedrudy · 22/02/2023 11:11

Don’t understand why my comment was deleted? I guess we can’t have autistic voices on a thread about autism 🙄 just proves my point really.

It's not a thread about autism. It's a thread (posted on the Geek branch) about how to remove Google results.

louise5754 · 22/02/2023 11:29

@WhamBamEatYourSpam The irony is she's upset / worried / embarrassed that's she's in the paper, news, tv, online fundraising / spreading awareness for autism yet she doesn't have it?

backinthebox · 22/02/2023 11:29

My reply above was for @Jamieleecurtain btw.

louise5754 · 22/02/2023 11:29

That was for @rexythedinosaur

louise5754 · 22/02/2023 11:30

@WhamBamEatYourSpam I'm wrong? I made one comment to the OP!!

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 22/02/2023 11:35

I do get irritated that only one kind of experience ever seems to be acceptable. In this case the parent struggling to get a diagnosis of autism for their child. The OP is saying clearly that she thinks her DD was misdiagnosed. Do you not think she knows her DD better than anyone here on this thread?

This. And any diversion from their accepted narrative means you are abilist, autism denying troll.

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