Neighbours telling us what to do?

[Sallymads]

Hello, commenting on here for a sanity check, I’m sorry it’s long winded 😆 basically, 5 metres of ivy at the back I’ve been cutting back over the last 3 years, but the whole time I’ve been going outside the neighbour at the back has come out watching me. (In their 70’s, early 80’s) She’s commented a few times that she doesn’t want any gaps, and doesn’t want to be able to see, and tbh she’s made me very uncomfortable. I didn’t do anything at the back last year because i felt so awkward, but it had gotten so overgrown again. From their side it’s a very nice ivy hedge I’m sure, but from ours it’s just massive roots and vines sticking out everywhere, some are surprisingly sharp! At first I was like ok I’ll try not to make any gaps etc etc, but we’ve recently discovered ALL of the ivy is actually growing from our side over a metre from the boundary, so it technically belongs to us. Well today, as we were clearing yet more crept ivy, she came out again this time with her husband and he said ‘excuse me can I have a word’, my husband was there too out of sight, so he went to the bushes for a chat and the neighbours were so rude talking over us, trying to tell us what to do with the ivy, saying how unhappy they are with us cutting it and they want their privacy, don’t want their dog to get through or my kids to get in, my hubs was calmly saying we are only cutting what’s on our side like we’re allowed to do and we’re trying to put a mesh barrier in between (still on our side not the boundary), and they’d snap back saying it’s ridiculous and it looks a mess? She made a comment that the last owners ‘were gardeners you know’ 😂funny because so am I. I offered a solution of planting laurel which they vehemently declined, they also said they didn’t want a fence. Ironically he then went on to say our willow is hanging over their garden and “I’ll have to get someone to cut it AGAIN!” Someone cut it for us last year and he rudely said they didn’t make a very good job of it. I’ve had enough, I actually hate going into our garden now, I wince everytime the kids ask me to push them on the swing (also at the back) which is a shame, because the gardens the reason we offered on the house and it really used to lift my spirits. Where do we stand with this? Even if we put a fence in, it’d be very far from the boundary with the all the roots. How can I stop the ivy? My back can’t handle any more😫 thank you if you made it this far! X

Honestly I’d just cut the ivy on your side, put the fence in as big as possible,and ignore any more of their interference.

I’d cut the ivy off at ground level if it’s growing on your side. I’d replace it with photinia red robin and ignore them.
Ivy is a horrible plant.

Whatever you do pisses them off, so just be straight with them. It's your boundary and you are not discussing it further with them.

If they approach you either ignore them or simply tell them you are not discussing it further

You haven't seen Chris Packham singing the praises of ivy, then! I can't remember everything he said but I know that bees depend on it because it flowers in winter when nothing else is in flower. Also it doesn't do any damage because it just sticks on with little suckers. So leave some of it, OP.

If they want ivy in their garden they can plant some. Anything inside your boundary is up to you - in your position I'd just state you're not discussing your garden with them and ignore from then on. Stick ear pods in and listen to a book/music/podcast when out there.

As for the ivy, I'd personally cut it down to nothing if you don't want it. I'd presume to really get rid of it you'd need to dig it out (I've not had to deal with ivy but had something similar with blackberry brambles in a previous house)?

And lastly, you may want to check your deeds etc to confirm who is responsible for the boundary you're talking about.
My understanding is that a fence/bush etc isn't something you have to have so you could cut everything down then put up whatever fence you want inside of your boundary. I'd do that (and make it a bloody tall one).

Remove the ivy and roots and get a 6ft fence put in (pay someone to do it if you can afford it). As Bigpaintinglittlepainting says anything you do is going to annoy them, and you shouldn't be too worried to enjoy your garden. They might not want a fence, but they can't control what you do on your side of the boundary. When they complain you can say you are ensuring that there is no way your children can get in their garden or there dog get through to yours. Your home should be your haven and they shouldn't be spoiling that.

We have a neighbour like this who thought she could dictate what we do with our own garden. She seemed to think she had the right because she had lived there so much longer. Having a nice fence between has helped enormously as she can no longer spend her time looking at our garden.

Personally I would want to reinstate the correct boundary line so that it's clearly marked but I agree about the wildlife benefit of ivy. Its pretty fast growing stuff though, it will probably come back or you could always plant some along the new fence.

Yep, a six foot fence is your answer. Doesn’t even matter whose boundary it is, you put the fence within your land.

We used to hate interaction with our neighbours moaning but now only have peace in our garden.

I am fed up with ivy as it completely ruined the fence of the house we just moved into which meant we had to replace it straight away instead of in a year or two as planned. Removed as much ivy as you can (you’ll probably have to dig it up). What is the ivy growing on if there is no fence? Then put up a nice fence which will solve all her problems (and yours) no gaps, no dangers of dogs and kids escaping, no one can see anything.

No I haven’t. I have seen it break fence panels and choke the plants on my side of the garden. I now live in rural north Wales and have wildflower islands in my field and along the field boundary for the bees.

We have a part of the garden called wildlife island 😆it’s full of ivy. Spotted a few cute wood mice in there. It’s fine there because it’s well contained, the back just looks ghastly x

Clear all the ivy out and put in a high fence, the highest you can legally have and then buy these fence toppers so when they come for a moan they can see exactly what they look like -

Yes it is awful stuff. The trees on our side are struggling because the canopies were completely covered. Hoping they revive now it’s been cut off🙏

Me too, it’s awful when it’s not kept in check. We found a very old mesh makeshift fence I’m guessing it grew up, it’s mostly flattened now. Some of the trunks are massive!

Haha these are hilarious!

oh yes I love a red robin! I’ll always prefer plants over fences but at this point I don’t want to have to look at them😳

Can I cut it even though it’s going into their garden? I’m just worried something will come back and bite me on the ar*e like they think it’s some sort of boundary hedge or something?

I think a fence may be the only way to go, I do like the greenery and would have replaced it with something much more manageable, but honestly now I don’t want them to look in while it would be growing. I’ll just plant my own along a new fence!

Yes my husband said afterwards he can’t understand why they don’t just plant shrubs in their garden, if they want the greenery? Same for their dog not escaping, surely you’d make sure your garden is secure? That’s what I’m trying to do for my children anyway! Yes I’ve had to keep digging it out as I go. We’ve so far filled 6 bulk bags of the stuff. Brambles are just as bad, as soon as a stem touches the ground it roots itself! Plus they’re prickly!

I think I’m going to just cut it down and erect a fence. I just don’t want the bother while it’s being done I suppose.

Thank you all! Glad to know I’m not going insane as it’s been really bothering me.
Chop down and Fence it is! X

Yep

I love ivy but had to get rid of some that was getting out of control. I sawed as far down to the ground as I could, poured weed killer on the stump and it seems to be dead. The rest will die back. If the roots are in your garden I'd do that immediately (but then as soon as a neighbor moans about something in my garden I do it all the more). It's your garden OP do as you please.

Check there are no nesting birds in it, at this time of year, or that will give the neighbours another potential issue to complain about if you do decide to cut it.

Nobody is responsible for a boundary. A boundary is a line on a map which may be marked in some way in real life. Sometime ownership of a fence or hedge is known, sometimes it isn't. Occasionally there is a legal requitement for a landowner to secure their property with a fence or hedge but there usually is not.

It doesn’t matter whether it’s going in their garden. If the roots are in your garden it’s your plant and you can do whatever you want with it. You’re not obliged to keep anything in your garden just because your neighbours like it.

I would be telling them very clearly and firmly that you will be doing what YOU want to YOUR plants and that if they want ivy in their garden they can grow their own. I would also be telling them in the most robust language possible that they need to stop banging on about it and that you wont engage with them any further about it.