Neighbours telling us what to do?

[Sallymads]

Hello, commenting on here for a sanity check, I’m sorry it’s long winded 😆 basically, 5 metres of ivy at the back I’ve been cutting back over the last 3 years, but the whole time I’ve been going outside the neighbour at the back has come out watching me. (In their 70’s, early 80’s) She’s commented a few times that she doesn’t want any gaps, and doesn’t want to be able to see, and tbh she’s made me very uncomfortable. I didn’t do anything at the back last year because i felt so awkward, but it had gotten so overgrown again. From their side it’s a very nice ivy hedge I’m sure, but from ours it’s just massive roots and vines sticking out everywhere, some are surprisingly sharp! At first I was like ok I’ll try not to make any gaps etc etc, but we’ve recently discovered ALL of the ivy is actually growing from our side over a metre from the boundary, so it technically belongs to us. Well today, as we were clearing yet more crept ivy, she came out again this time with her husband and he said ‘excuse me can I have a word’, my husband was there too out of sight, so he went to the bushes for a chat and the neighbours were so rude talking over us, trying to tell us what to do with the ivy, saying how unhappy they are with us cutting it and they want their privacy, don’t want their dog to get through or my kids to get in, my hubs was calmly saying we are only cutting what’s on our side like we’re allowed to do and we’re trying to put a mesh barrier in between (still on our side not the boundary), and they’d snap back saying it’s ridiculous and it looks a mess? She made a comment that the last owners ‘were gardeners you know’ 😂funny because so am I. I offered a solution of planting laurel which they vehemently declined, they also said they didn’t want a fence. Ironically he then went on to say our willow is hanging over their garden and “I’ll have to get someone to cut it AGAIN!” Someone cut it for us last year and he rudely said they didn’t make a very good job of it. I’ve had enough, I actually hate going into our garden now, I wince everytime the kids ask me to push them on the swing (also at the back) which is a shame, because the gardens the reason we offered on the house and it really used to lift my spirits. Where do we stand with this? Even if we put a fence in, it’d be very far from the boundary with the all the roots. How can I stop the ivy? My back can’t handle any more😫 thank you if you made it this far! X

I'm clearing some very mature Ivy now, what a nightmare job. I planted it to hide an ugly 60/70's holey concrete pattern block wall. Really slow progress and very hard work, my loppers won't go through some of it. Time to try the mini chainsaw on it! I'm only 1/3 way through it - there's so much to pick off and losing the will to live
if it's growing on your side cut it down. I wouldn't hesitate to replace it with 6' fence panels. Just don't let Ivy grow on them as will absolutely wreck it.

Yes my husband said afterwards he can’t understand why they don’t just plant shrubs in their garden, if they want the greenery?

@Sallymads probably because just like my neighbour, they want to see the greenery but are quite happy for it to encroach on your garden space instead of theirs.

If the roots are in your garden it’s yours. Get it down. Fuck em. They’re bloody rude. We’ve had to replace a whole side of our fence last year because of ivy growing on it and pulling it down. Thankfully our neighbours were supportive of getting rid of it and we went half and half on the fence. Ivy is a menace. It’s your neighbours responsibility to make sure their dog can’t escape, not your problem.

Walls of text really hurt my eyes.

Tell that to our shredded fences. Tear it out OP

Do whatever it takes to get the joy back for you in your garden! don't let them and spoil your enjoyment of your garden even down to not wanting to push your kids on their swing in your garden!!

Can you afford to get someone to do it? Get all the Ivy dug out and a fence put up, a big fence!! It's your garden your Ivy!

If they want greenery the other side of the fence, you erect, they can plant it themselves or get someone to plant it for them.

It's not your duty to make their garden secure for their dog or Green for them, that's their job!!

But for the dogs sake, not theirs, I would make sure if the dog can get into your garden it can't get out of your garden into other neighbours or the main road. If you can't secure your garden so the dog is contained between the two gardens, then I'd make sure the fence goes up before the old Mish fence Ivy combo gets taken out.

The age is no excuse to allow them to bully you about what you do in your garden.

That's a dreadful shame.

Simple solution move onto another thread

I had similar - 2 or 3 metres of ivy at the back, covering a shed and hiding 2 bed frames, grumpy neighbour. Though I already had a shared fence that was being damaged by the ivy. Do cut and ignore them.

Here's how I removed it: Get (hire/borrow) a small electric chainsaw. Cut a gap like in the photo with chainsaw, loppers, secateurs (you can't cut the stringy bits with a chainsaw). The gap doesn't need to be as large, but you don't want the two sides of the remaining bits to touch. Cut trunks about 10-20 cm above the ground if possible. Leave it all to wilt for a few weeks or months. The aerial roots will die back a bit and it's all easier to pull out.

Pull out the top half once it's ready/easier. Then buy some Ecoplugs. They're plastic plugs that contain glyphosate, but it goes straight to the root, doesn't contaminate other plants so little risk to the environment. Check the instructions, but you normally you'll need 2-3 plugs per 10cm diameter trunk. Hammer plugs into the remaining trunk stumps.

I did all that about 3 years ago and have just finally pulled out the rotting husks of the trunks :) NO REGROWTH 🥳💃🏻

To cover up the ugly bits, I built a planter just in front of the trunks and put in a honeysuckle. Also put in some willow whips as the soil was heavily compacted and wet, so nothing much else would grow. Honesty and wild garlic grows well there now too.

Pigeons are still enjoying the remaining ivy - I only removed about a quarter of the whole thing (shared between several neighbours). Plus I've massively diversified the planting to feed more species. But I have my shed and 2-3m of space and sunshine back!

Sorry, forgot to add the photo after writing all that!

Also if you have lots of stringy bits on the soil, in principle you can twirl them out like spaghetti with a rake - but it's a bit gung ho and you won't get everything.

I have a lot of ivy in my garden and I love it. It flowers in autumn and you would not believe the amount of insects that come to feed on it (someone thought there was a bee swarm on it because there were so many insects). Everything comes for an ivy nosh up: butterflies, moths, bees, wasps, hover flies, flies…

Golden rod is the same. It also flowers late in the year and attracts EVERY flying thing.

One autumn we had miniature bees overnighting in the garden so they could feed on it during the day. They were tiny and amazing!

Insect populations have been totally decimated over the past few decades so, for me, keeping anything to support them is vital.

Hah! Not in my heavy soil you can't.

It makes me want to weep when I go to someone else's garden & they've real soil - you know, soft, crumbly stuff.😥

Do you know where the actual boundary should be? I only ask because we had similar with an elderly, and very cantankerous, neighbour for years, he didn't like us doing any work at all near the dividing fence. After he passed away and we cleared it, including chopping down some of the overgrowth on his side - we discovered the reason he didn't want us anywhere near. We spotted the obviously original concrete fence post holes which were a good 2 ft into "his" garden, He had nicked a 2 ft strip the full length of the garden just before we moved in! We managed to move the fence back to its original position before his family put the house on the market.

Ahh god yes the sunshine!! It’s so dark at the back because it’s climbed all over our trees, they’re not in great shape either! But the mosquitoes that are loving life in shade are wreaking havoc! Honestly can’t wait till it’s gone and I can see the sunshine through again!

Yes, our garden spreads across 3 at the back, the houses either end have fences, so we know where it should be in the middle. I’m guessing from their point of you, it makes their garden look much further back than it actually is. Some people are so sneaky aren’t they! We’ll be putting a fence up and I’ll plant my own much more manageable greenery on our side

OP, our neighbour has the beautiful mature ivy "hedge" on their side, we have the ugly mass of bare stems on ours. Our garden is big enough that we can plant shrubs etc outside of the worst of the ivy, which means they get their (lovely) hedge and we don't loom at the ugly bits.

Ivy flowers?

2nd this

They're just a bunch of Busy bodies. Old and nothing to do.

Yes i would prefer having greenery, but i do think we’ll put a fence in first.
Just for context, this is when id cut it back not even half way! Ive cut back much more now, so i can actually see where else it’s rooted in. But it would be nice to have bare soil to actually plant anything else in. Not to mention the amount of glass, wood with nails and broken crockery I’ve found! Its been an awful ride 😆

go around with several ivy plants in a nice basket with a big bow and tell them you are getting rid of all the ivy and putting in a fence along the yellow spayed line ( or put a pegged wire ) or anything that show where you think the boundary is
they have time to debate the boundary
for arguments sake I’d be prepared to move boundary an inch or two for a quiet life and do fence red Robin your side and offer to plant the “ gifted basket of ivy their side if they want

put a fence up well within your boundary (you'll lose a bit of land though) and ignore the miserable old bat

We had this situation too - but it was at our back door. The ivy roots were all on our side but they had all the greenery and we had all the hairy roots - it looked bloody awful. We tried to talk to them about it but they weren't in listening mode and they just kept telling us we weren't allowed to do it.
By that stage I knew we'd gone past the friendly neighbours point, I could see no way forward where everyone got what they wanted - I removed all the ivy - she was utterly furious but I expected that - it was really uncomfortable at the time, my only regret is that I didn't do it sooner - normally having a chat with your neighbours helps to resolve issues - not in our case, it just made her feel that she could bully us into keeping a plant on our side that ruined the look of our garden. I'd rip it down and build a fence - but be careful about birds nesting - wait till August - to avoid that being part of the problem.

Bet they don't want the expense of having to put a fence up to keep their ddog in their own side..

Once you have a 6’ fence then I’d stop talking to them altogether; you’re going to need to clear the area so maybe let the fencers do it.

Ivy is brilliant for wildlife - laurel is apparently poisonous and of no use to wildlife - just saying