Neighbours telling us what to do?

[Sallymads]

Hello, commenting on here for a sanity check, I’m sorry it’s long winded 😆 basically, 5 metres of ivy at the back I’ve been cutting back over the last 3 years, but the whole time I’ve been going outside the neighbour at the back has come out watching me. (In their 70’s, early 80’s) She’s commented a few times that she doesn’t want any gaps, and doesn’t want to be able to see, and tbh she’s made me very uncomfortable. I didn’t do anything at the back last year because i felt so awkward, but it had gotten so overgrown again. From their side it’s a very nice ivy hedge I’m sure, but from ours it’s just massive roots and vines sticking out everywhere, some are surprisingly sharp! At first I was like ok I’ll try not to make any gaps etc etc, but we’ve recently discovered ALL of the ivy is actually growing from our side over a metre from the boundary, so it technically belongs to us. Well today, as we were clearing yet more crept ivy, she came out again this time with her husband and he said ‘excuse me can I have a word’, my husband was there too out of sight, so he went to the bushes for a chat and the neighbours were so rude talking over us, trying to tell us what to do with the ivy, saying how unhappy they are with us cutting it and they want their privacy, don’t want their dog to get through or my kids to get in, my hubs was calmly saying we are only cutting what’s on our side like we’re allowed to do and we’re trying to put a mesh barrier in between (still on our side not the boundary), and they’d snap back saying it’s ridiculous and it looks a mess? She made a comment that the last owners ‘were gardeners you know’ 😂funny because so am I. I offered a solution of planting laurel which they vehemently declined, they also said they didn’t want a fence. Ironically he then went on to say our willow is hanging over their garden and “I’ll have to get someone to cut it AGAIN!” Someone cut it for us last year and he rudely said they didn’t make a very good job of it. I’ve had enough, I actually hate going into our garden now, I wince everytime the kids ask me to push them on the swing (also at the back) which is a shame, because the gardens the reason we offered on the house and it really used to lift my spirits. Where do we stand with this? Even if we put a fence in, it’d be very far from the boundary with the all the roots. How can I stop the ivy? My back can’t handle any more😫 thank you if you made it this far! X

My neighbours tried this - but ivy is not classed as a hedge and it is a grass as far as the law is concerned.

It absolutely does do damage to masonry etc. And there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Biodiversity depends on no one species being dominant etc. And if there is loads of it in the wood across the road anyway, in my case, and I hate it, I'll be getting rid. But what do I know with a masters in ecology and a qualified horticulturalist.
I'd be making a point and being spiteful at this point and doing it anyway. Their dog is their problem, it's rooted on your property. Just do it.

Silky hand saw. Cuts through everything beautifully :)

i keep some ivy for the wildlife, a patch of nettles and other wildlife friendly stuff BUT and its a mega but, I manage it. I keep it to its areas and don't let it get out of hand. I love the wildlife in my garden but managing a wildlife area is really really hard work. This year I replaced the wild brambles with thornless fruit canes. I had about 12 feet of bramble hedge dividing off an area of my garden but it was getting really thick so I had to take it out before it became unmanageable.

Ah, just like the first time my dad helped in the garden here and came round with a handful of soil exclaiming about it.
They're heavy clay and builders rubble- the 1960s housing estate edition

Chop down the Ivy, dig out the roots and get a massive fence put in and then you won't have to deal with them any more.

Yes, little tiny white clusters.

the ones on mine are green like this.

We've had this kind of thing with elderly neighbours- ours seemed to think we needed his permission to do anything in our garden and he used to say everything we did was "an awful job". One day I flipped and said "it's a good thing it's none of your business then" and he didn't comment again.
I think you're going to have to tell them that it's your garden and you will do what you think best as you've tried to accommodate them but they're not happy.

If they don't want a gap or to be able to see, let them plant their own hedge.

Your neighbours are miserable, entitled fuckers aren't they? They don't seem to realise that your home and how you live in it do not purely revolve around their preferences. They have a learning curve coming.

Am glad you are being decisive. Yes, clear your ivy and put up your tall fence, and when they complain, tell them they are welcome to plant whatever they like in their garden, as you are in yours.

@Sallymads you really need to get rid of the ivy. I had it invading my garden it threw roots out onto the lawn and taking root, even covering a 6ft high, 20 yards long brick wall by growing through the concrete and brickwork. It grew over the roof of a double garage covering it for the neighbour at her side. I was out chopping at it one day and she remarked how it was a shame. I carried on regardless.
Particularly as she stole my dcs cat several years before. (Another thread completely).

@Sallymads , that's a huge amount! Ours is nothing like as bad as that, I'd be clearing that if /when I had the energy.
I love ivy when it's mature ; flowers and has berries. Hate the way it tries to eat the entire garden when it's younger though.