ADHD move away for Uni?

[Tiredpanda]

Son has AHD and on medication. It helps with concentration and has reduced the symptoms of ADHD a lot. But he still has bad days when his mental health isn't great and we see more of the ADHD symptoms like emotion dysregulation, impulsivity.

He wanted to stay home for uni but has now changed him mind and wants to try living away. He is capable of cooking (although makes a mess and usually can't be bothered), ironing and staying on top of schedules when i am not around but i am around most days and he often cannot be bothered and i try not to do things for him which ends in him getting annoyed. He can plan and organise although he struggles and usually need support from me to remind him.

Is it a good idea he moves away from home? Has anyone been in a similar situation and your child thrived moving away?

My dd has just moved into halls 50 mins / an hour away from home. Her university seems great for SEN and she’s been approved for DSA. Dd is in denial that she has any additional needs, and I’m figuring this will be a baptism of fire.

She’s only just down the road if she needs us, rather than 3 hours away. There’s no catered accommodation at her university, but she has an eating disorder, so she wouldn’t have coped with that.

I would also say for it to work, your ds should be close enough to commute, so if it really doesn’t work he can come home. That he’s thinking about this stuff means he has a much better chance of making it work than someone like my dd, who flat refused to learn anything from us. She only knows how to do washing, because I downed tools and she had to learn. I also taught her to clean.

My advice would be to teach your ds as much as he is willing to learn. Budgeting, saving, time management, cooking etc. All things dd is yet to learn.

Why?

Op I have children with both autism and ADHD and 1 is staying at home and the other moved away for uni. The one who moved away had a breakdown and ended up repeating a year. It wasn’t the living bit but the organisation with the degree that became overwhelming. Dissertations are very open ended and long which isn’t ideal for those with ADHD and they have to be on the ball re checking emails and uni staff mess ups which do happen , organising large amounts of work, balancing exams, projects and dissertations alone.

What I would say is pick a uni you can get to easily as having to travel 4 hours to support during crisis was not helpful. If you can keep your current GP and make sure any diagnoses, med reviews etc are sorted before he goes. You may also need to sort out a system he can keep on top of re accessing meds if they’re request and monthly prescribed eg an alert set up in his phone 10 days before his prescription runs out. Walk him through filling the online med request forms.Help him develop a system of planning deadlines ahead in his diary, breaking them down into manageable parts etc, get support set up at uni before, ensure he knows to check emails daily,ensure you support during finding accommodation for next year,don’t leave it to him as an ADHD procrastination can lead to a year of uncomfortable consequences…

My son’s sibling has chosen to stay at home and I can already see benefits- not being alone if over whelmed, accessing current GP and care, not becoming overwhelmed with balancing the living aspect with uni, cheaper and less money to manage, having people around if they need support and being able to gently remind re keeping on top of things ..