BTEC/T level/other vocational 25/26 - part 2

[BTECnewbie]

New thread for those of us with DC doing vocational courses (and for those with DC looking for an alternative to A levels next year and looking for advice).

My DC is currently doing a level 3 extended diploma. He struggled academically at school and was pretty miserable in year 11. With a lot of hard work he got the grades needed for the level 3 BTEC and is now thriving at college.

@LarkspurLane Thanks for your kind words. It did get cancelled. They were flying with Middle Eastern airline, so that kind of narrowed down options to reroute. But, totally! I felt sick at the thought of him going had it miraculously gone ahead. My good friend used to live in Dubai, and her friend who is still there is flying from Dubai to the same place on holiday on Friday ( day before DS due to fly), so 🤷‍♀️…. Luckily my DS1 just got home from Uni reading week in a Russian country, so least he is back ( mind you, that seems fairly quiet right now!). I was due to go abroad over Easter for my Wedding Anniversary, ( only time we have ever gone away for one!), and that’s been knocked on the head, but, hey ho!
How are things going now we have ( had, here!) the better weather?!

Sorry to hear that @Sisublondie x

Evening all! I hope everyone has had a fun week! …. Nearly Easter holidays! I hope you all have some sunshine this weekend….. 🌞 x

Thank you! Tomorrow was the Big Day, so waiting to see how it goes. I don’t think it’s really hit him, yet. But, he is remarkably autistic, in his words!, sometimes, and sees some things in very black and white. So, “ we are where we are”……… I’ll see how it goes!

How are things with you/DD/Mum? 🥰

We are ok.
Mum remains the same - sleeping more, not eating much.
It'll be interesting to see if she has the outpatient tests 🤷‍♀️
Dd seems ok, she's off out tomorrow with a friend and has signed up to help with the drama dept costumes 😬
Hope everyone is doing ok x

We're clinging on by a fingernail here.

DS2 is going through a foul "I'm right about everything, let me tell you how wrong you are" and it's really starting to do my head in. Between times, he's so lovely, so it's starting to feel a bit like an abusive relationship (I know this is common with teens and I am not suggesting that it really is like that), as I get sucked into his "joy" and then suddenly get randomly attacked for daring to have a different opinion to him on anything.
On the thread theme, I am also worried about my mum. She's very independent at the moment but she is starting to struggle with life admin and just generally a bit unsteady, not just on her feet, but with her decision making, etc. She's a long way from me, but I am just back from a visit. The contrast between her thanking me for every little thing I do for her compared to the horrendous ungratefulness of teens is staggering!

I hope everyone is ok, it's a tough time being in the middle of teenagers and older parents - Easter is coming and I hope that brings some positives for all!

@LarkspurLane
I so empathise with you 💙
Between dd, older dd who is being very difficult since her breakup, and elderly parents, it's feeling very hard atm.
Dd1 snapped at me once to often last night and I told her that I'm sorry she's so sad, but I will not be spoken to like that and she flounced out for an hour.
Sigh.
Mum is behaving like a toddler, tbh. If she doesn't want to know whats wrong with her, or have tests, that's her decision, but I'm not picking up the pieces.
We were helping pils empty dhs aunts house (again) yesterday
4 hours and there's still so much to do 😕
Taking dd to counselling later so I get to sit in my car and listen to an audio book for an hour! ☺️
Dd seems to be working hard, is enjoying this project more than the last one.

@LarkspurLane .. and @Raven08….. just sending a huge hug before I set off up north back to see my Mum ( have to come back tomorrow for meeting but it’s her Wedding Anniversary ( 58 years! But 22 since Dad died), so I’ll message more when I arrive.

I just saw yours and so unbelievably similar, it is so saddening to to read. It sounds like the DD/DS attitudes are the straw at the mo ( a day at our local theme park yesterday m resulted in my and DS17’s only public “ fall out” …. Shuddering at my trying to disguise wiping tears under sunglasses), and @LarkspurLane, I wholeheartedly know what you mean likening it to
an abusive relationship. How are things this morning?

Anyhoooo, huge positive thoughts to you both, and I’ll be back after a jaunt through the hills/moors/footballers paradise and two motorways! 🛣️ 😽

Try and smile and enjoy the 🌞! ( until that disappears to rain on our parade, too!)😈😹 x

@Raven08.. note to self….. after 16 years with my beloved Volvo who only has a CD player…. Don’t know how to play audio book in my new car! 😹🙀😹! .. need to learn! Enjoy yours ! ( and hope her therapy goes well) x

Thanks for kind words, we are all ok at the moment - eye of the hurricane perhaps?
In course news, DS passed the external exam he sat in January - he expected to pass but was not totally sure so it's a relief. This exam is necessary to get into Year 2, although they have another chance to repeat it in May. In fact, I think you can do it again in May to get a better grade even if you pass - but I have not floated that idea as he has more than enough to do!
Anyway, he has core maths to sit in May and I think one more external exam next year so there is always something to keep an eye on. I thought May was some distant time in the future, but once they get back after Easter, it's only a few weeks.

Hope everyone is ok, balancing family and coursework and all the other things life throws our way.

Dds grades were officially posted yesterday and sge got a merit in everything, so thats great 👍
Well done to your ds @LarkspurLane 👏
I'm exam invigilating this summer so I can't escape the exams 😬

Good news!

EXCELLENT NEWS to both @LarkspurLaneand @Raven08!!! Whooo-Hoooooo!!!! Very happy for you!! 🌟

Eek as to Core Maths! I’m starting to feel the nerves for DS’s English resit… I haven’t even been given the dates yet! ( shudder as to last years hell! .. I don’t want to google them as my 🤯as it is at the moment, the dates will make it real!), I totally agree @LarkspurLane! 🙀

And, good point as to if he resists his external exam for course in May, @LarkspurLane… could that go down as well as up? Mind you, yes he has enough on!

Well, I’ve been called to do early pick up because of the snow! ❄️…..

Snow!
We had some hail here, which was depressing enough! Although snow is somewhat more fun than hail.

I wondered about exams going up as well as down, but I think they just take your best one. He's done enough resubmitting of assignments to take them up a grade, so I think we'll "bank" this one exam. I don't know if it was Pass/Fail only (people did fail), he seems to think he's done enough.

Core maths dates are among the A Levels and results on A Level results day. So DS gets an edge on his friends, who aren't doing A Levels until next year - provided of course, he passes that as well.

Snow ❄️ here too!

Whoo- Hoo!!! ( that casts tickles me!!!)… I wonder if we will get more tomorrow?!!

@LarkspurLane.. yes, absolutely! Hail is less fun!! Snow
was nice and pretty on DS’s building and the gardens around, and we got home in one piece despite some dicey moments with large vehicles so all good!

Ah, yes, I see what you mean re his assignments and whether the exam was a pass/fail only. If I was him, I would probably be relieved at how everything else was going, and get stuck onto my Core Maths! 😼!

So! I’m having first major BTEC Course drama! And, I don’t know what to do, as DS is not letting me contact any college staff. He kind of mentioned work experience at the weekend…. Just a throw away reference in a confused way. Long story short, it transpires that it is “ WE week”. Clearly he hasn’t booked any work experience as he was due to be doing it all on his college trip. Which was cancelled. And, the college, when cancelling, didn’t go “ Oh! And, heads up! You have a week to find a week of alternative work experience! Good luck!”. So, he’s distraught, terrified he’s going to fail the year. He contacted the college asking what to do, the response was “ too late for h&s checks etc “, so he has been in full meltdown since I left here to do pick up. I wanted to call/ contact his tutor/ the WE person/ anyone but flat out rejected. He’s been sobbing like he hasn’t in years. I don’t ever know what will be accepted as “ work experience”??

It’s ironic, really. I hate the phrase “ things can’t get any worse”, because it’s so true! I couldn’t sleep last night worrying about English resit ( and a heavy dose of Mum), but now I’m even more out of my depth as zero idea how to solve this curveball!!

🤯.., sorry to moan!!!!

@Sisublondie
Oh, man 😕 that's tough.
I think in your shoes I'd have to step in and explain that as he is in full on panic mode, you need to be the middle man and talk to college to find out what his next steps are.
It sounds very poor from the college tbh...does your ds have an ehcp? If so, I'd be contacting the senco and complaining about how this has been handled/communicated.
Dds college have also been pretty blase about it. I know that 16/17 years olds are expected to manage their own studies, and I'm all for that, but some dc still need more support to access the curriculum/manage their time/communications.
Dd also goes full on "rabbit in the headlights" when things don't go to plan or she feels she's made a mistake 😕
I hope he is able to calm down soon.
Thinking of you x

@Sisublondie First year?

He should be able to do work experience in May half term, or even after the end of the summer term. But I agree it will be far too late for H&S checks for this Easter, they take them seriously unless he can go to somewhere where someone else is already going as then they will have done the checks .

For DD they gave lists of places that have given work placements before but it was up to the young person to contact them themselves (ie I sat with DD helped compose the emails and CV and we sent them together). Expect to have to contact 10-20 places to find a placement.

I strongly suggest you contact college irrespective of what your DS says.

@Raven08.. Ugh, well it all continued till early hours and I actually fell asleep with my light on, phone in hand, to come on here ( luckily, I’d just got into bed, tho!).😈😹.. anyway! As I tentatively tried to give “ bullet points” of bare minimum to try today, ( nervous as breaks up tomorrow), all he did was scream at me again. DH then took him off to the bus stop. In essence, I have gleaned from this trip that he has been texting his main tutor, who is also confused. Not least because literally ALL his class are in lessons this week. Tutor chap is apparently going to contact HIS “ boss” ( who we are told makes the final decisions)to basically find out, well, the basics… what can be recognised as work experience/ odd hours, or “ one block”, etc?.

After battles that were handled badly and SENCO disappointment at his previous school, he does not have a EHCP ( still furious about) but he does have a senco contact who I’ve previously been in touch with. I think, as @TeenToTwentiesalso kindly suggests, I think they need to be informed that a ND child has been left floundering and distraught… ( I mean, I myself was confused picking him up from lessons, whilst reading messsge from college saying everyone should be on WE week! So, why are the lessons running, then?!).

He definitely sounds like your DD in the bunny headlights! And, also, when they feel like they made a mistake?! On the drive back from college, the only split second of silence from sob/yell/rant was after I managed to pluck up courage to say….” But! You could NEVER have done it this week, you are supposed to be on the other side of the world”.. and the penny dropped that HE hadn’t got it all wrong!

Well… I’ll see what I can do, and it’s a veritable wait and see re DS.

How are your DD’s?

Thank you! 🤩 🙏💖

@TeenToTwentiesYes, he’s first year…

Now, your mention of May is very interesting, as he keeps mentioning 18th May… as “ last day “? But, he doesn’t know for what. I’ll hopefully get clarity today. The current only possible is at my friends new business, and no, she has never had anyone go there before. Do you know how onerous the H&S checks are? Is it basically like a Risk Assessment?

Wow, that is a lot of places to contact. He had mentioned contacting one in the past that college “ uses” but I thought it was for volunteering.. in any event, they were “ full”.

Thank you so much, I will do as you suggest.🙏🙏

The H&S checks the college need to do are to check the business is 'safe' and they have appropriate insurance. So they may need to send someone out to see the premises but at least there is exchange of paperwork. insurance, who will be supervising the young person etc.

No idea what '18th May as last day' may refer to.

@Sisublondie

Sorry, that all sounds tough.
DS did not find a work experience, he worked in his part time job a bit (not a full week) but they have agreed to sign it off once he reaches the required hours.

Also, for DS course, they need the work experience to pass the course overall, not to pass the year. If you could find out about that - at least then you could focus on getting something in place at a later time.

The fact that your DS lost out because his trip was cancelled, it would be very unfair to penalise him for that.

Listening to my A Level and GCSE friends, getting work experience is really tough and no one gets any help from college. It's different if the work experience is a core part (hairdressing, catering, etc) but for other courses at DS college anything goes.

@Sisublondie
Your poor ds...and poor you!
As a pp said, it's time to intervene, against his wishes or not tbh.
I'd be emailing the head, hoy, senco, whoever is in charge of w/e - a staff member must be the named contact! (It's usually the DSL)
I really hope it gets sorted for you both x