Year 12 - 2025/2026: Support Thread 2

[QueenMabby]

A new thread for us to keep chatting on!

Similar here re work experience @MyNiftySheep.

Wondering if someone at school can check through CV and covering email but not sure who DD should ask???

I don’t think our college does work experience. They have links to industry and have lots of visits to workplaces for talks etc.
Does she have any idea what area she wants to work in?

We have to find a week's work experience for Ratty end of June, but it can be in anything.

I am thinking retail might be more useful as experience to get part time work at uni. And he might do some more actual things rather than just watch. Who knows? We shall look around.

To beer or not to beer, that is the question.
Our turn to throw the weekly get together. I am thinking it is better to provide something than them digging into the vodka on the sly, which apparently happened two weeks ago!
DH suggested mould wine. I doubt they will have that. Mould wine and hot cross buns, according to DH. Haha!

Work experience all sorted here, sort of. My brother owns his own tech company. If it is still going next summer, DD is sorted. If not, oh well. I suggested fruit picking! (We know some farmers) I think that would look good on her CV. She already did some nepo work experience last summer with a whole lot of uni students who were shocked she got a place.

Now as for the real problem. DD’s beau is a little too perfect, every mother in laws dreams. He literally donates his spare pocket money to charity and goes to the supermarket to donate to the food bank. DD is busy working hard tidying her room for once and working extra to impress him (he has a gazillion straight 9s at GCSEs, not kidding, even though someone may be on to tell me it is a statistical anomaly).
Also DD still has no clue what subject what uni, heck which A level to drop to do at AS. Leaving that for the summer term, hopefully after she has passed her driving test. Have given up on the early Monday morning wake ups to try and bring it forward.

The work experience DD did last summer was via school somehow. They were told to sign up to schemes. This year they have to go out and find something themselves, but shadowing is fine, it doesn’t need to be paid. I think DD would love to get a job in M&S for some reason. That is what she keeps talking about.

Back in the dim and distant past I got quite good work experience placements by just writing to local companines in the field I wanted in the area.

Our DC don't have to do work experience they have to do volunteering as part of welsh bacc - which was a nightmare Y10 with a summer born child tried writing to everyone - under 16 huge problem. We sorted something but covid meant they dropped that for younger two kids which was a relief.

For Y12 they had to do it again - post 16 was easier the local charity shop took DD1 and DS on - DS enjoyed it so much he only stopped when he left for uni. DD2 dropped welsh bacc so doesn't have to do that. One of his freinds did similar with local food bank he did his with.

I found out subsquently there was a local organisation for volunteering and they had staff in area of youth volunteering - but no-one had mentioned that and we found out way to late to be useful to us. If local companies don't respond you could try volunteering sector.

@Araminta1003 i can recommend really weak premixed cocktails (that way they don't try to mix their own, and that way disaster lies) or that horrid flavoured cider. From Lidl. But yours may be more sophisticated than mine! Good luck.

Amazed by all the driving. DD2 is the summeriest of summer borns, so won't be starting that for quite some time. She's having the time of her life in the school play - minor character - and I'm not sure going to any lessons at all. She doesn't have to do work experience. Her sister did hers at the local library, which is volunteer run. It was actually very useful as she was able to use it as evidence of dealing with more vulnerable members of the public when she applied for nursing. Actually think it will have been genuinely helpful for her - though I did wince when I discovered she'd been helping actual adults with their cvs.

Thank you @achangeofnameisasgoodasarest - I have settled on Shandy. Am worried some of the more colourful characters will top up a weak cocktail. If it doesn’t rain have told them they can go out and toast marshmallows and have offered hot chocolate with a splash of baileys, some hope of sophistication. Thankfully we don’t have a garden office, that’s when it all goes wrong. Because you cannot subtly go spy on them, without causing massive embarrassment. Although another friend admitted to installing a nanny cam! I was like what if they get up to all sorts is that even legal?

@Araminta1003- the pre-mixed cocktails in tins seem to be popular in DD’s (nerdy and not at all partying) crowd. DD’s never had more than two in an evening and only with food. She’s basically 45! 🤣

dd also expected to find her own work experience. Ds didn’t do anything and it hasn’t harmed him so far. Dd has a scheme she’s hoping to apply to but only if it doesn’t clash with the music tour for which we have already paid the deposit.

We had a great parents’ evening this week. Basically, keep doing what she’s doing and one chem teacher told her not to bother with the homework if she found it boring - just do some extension questions instead. Dd was horrified! She’s very much a rule follower.

Been a big week for DD she’s had her first A level tests/assessments at college and started her PT job in a local restaurant as a food runner. She also had her second driving lesson. I’m hoping she copes with the work so I can stop being bled dry for money!

DC1's sixth form authorised a week off school if they found their own work experience which DC1 did. That resulted in offers of paid work during the following year so turned out well.

DC2 is at a different sixth form and there is no such arrangement although there are rumours that diligent students may be given upto a week for work experience if it has to happen during term time.

@achangeofnameisasgoodasarest my DD is also summer born but we have already booked her driving lessons as the woman we wanted is booking 6 months in advance! We’re planning for her sit her theory the week after she turns 17 so that she can experience the Pearson test centre as she’ll need to sit her university clinical aptitude test there later in the summer, so thought it would be useful to get the experience with a test that doesn’t matter so much.

DD hasn’t ever drunk, most of her friend group don’t and she’s not been exposed to alcohol much - though having said that her dad and I drink regularly, as do other relatives. She’s tried a sip but doesn’t like the taste. I have bought her a can of Hooch, the alcoholic lemonade (hadn’t realised they still sold it til I saw it in Sainsburys!) to have on NYE as she might like that and I don’t want her to never have tried it.

She’s a complete contrast to me, I was regularly visiting pubs at her age and had already had my first hangover. I’m sort of pleased but also worry a bit that she might be missing out - it’s just so different from my own experience but then it was a different age back then - I remember being in the pub at 16 and a teacher came in - he bought us all a drink! I looked my age but was still able to get served.

My DD also doesn’t drink alcohol as she doesn’t like the taste. She’s never liked any fizzy drinks weirdly. Very different to when I was 16 and already going to bars and nightclubs!

DS1 17 doesn’t drink , always didn’t like the taste though has recently found something he likes sipping DHs . I will get him a couple of bottle for Christmas - I would rather he experiences alcohol at home first . Rather he get the effect in a safe space . Can’t imagine he won’t not drink forever .DSD was very anti but subsequently went through a period of being really quite worrying with her drinking and still sometimes is ( she’s 25 )

DS2 15.5 likes the taste but hadn’t been out out yet - might get him a couple of bottles too

edited to say I also drank from about 15 and went out out - I guess you did in the days when no one cared about ID - I had so many near misses and not so near misses it’s horrifying thinking back

The party went well, nobody got legless, a few more girls spent the night sleeping here than anticipated but somehow they made do with sleeping bags and cushions. The kids did karaoke and carols in the end which descended into some bizarre carol rapping and I was a little concerned for my piano, but that is about it. I sent DS2 (12 years old) down to spy and I hid in my bedroom (strict instruction to do so). DH was out anyway.

I am not sure DD particularly likes drinking either. DD is DC3, she will do whatever anyone else is doing, generally speaking. Last summer she was in a party crowd, her new friends from school are largely hugely focussed and will have 1 or 2 drinks, that is it. She does still have some very musical friends who are a bit more unpredictable (can go both ways) but generally speaking, yes, they are a whole lot tamer than we were. It is not even just the drinking, it is the healthy eating/exercising and “the one” romanticising than I find strange. We definitely followed the philosophy of it is good to kiss a few first, they do not seem to do that much either.

Or maybe I just got lucky and they were all exhausted from assessments etc and that nasty flu that most of them have now already had in some form or another. Actually, I spent a few days last week working from home entirely because I felt a bit rough but managed to get over it with tons of hot tea, vitamin C and lemsip.

Re drinking I love drinking, wine, cocktails. But I can do a dry January easily.
Ds1 rarely.
Ds2 plays football and they are all at the gym regularly. They had a Christmas party, pizza's 🍕a few boys had 1 larger shandy bought by their dads.

Glad it’s not just my DD who isn’t drinking at this age. I was pretty stupid at the same age and drank beer until I liked it!
@waitingquietly I feel the same about my DD experiencing the feeling of alcohol for the first time at home so she is in a safe environment. I worry she’ll get freaked out by the sensation and be out off it for life. She is so different to me. My younger one is much more like me and has also tried my amaretto sour cocktail and keeps asking me to make her one!

I have no capacity for alcohol , never have had and haven’t really drunk much at all since my first pregnancy - as my 2 are 18 months apart I couldn’t drink for 2.5 years anyway - I just got out of the habit . I’m a bit concerned that the boys will take after me and not be able to handle it and get in all sorts of messes as a result hence the try it at home first . Looking back I probably drank because it was what everyone else was doing .DH likes a glass of red wine , which they think is foul . They could take after DH of course and just fall asleep on the sofa with a glass of wine in his hand 🤦🏻‍♀️

Alcohol and the culture around alcohol is so bizarre when you closely think about it. A poison that we force ourselves to like (as youngsters) so that we’ll fit in and then becomes the socially acceptable way to celebrate / relax / end a busy day / birthdays / Christmas / by the pool etc etc. I once stopped for a whole year as a reset and ppl do find it odd if you don’t drink albeit this was 5-6 years ago and I think there’s a lot more ppl abstain now. I’m back on it but can easily not drink for several weeks. DD1 (22) has never really drunk and I doubt she’ll have any over Xmas. I sometimes wonder if going straight into work and not going uni has made a difference as she’s not had the full on partying experience (and it was Covid through 6th form). She’s very social but will have softies. DD2 (20) on the other hand is very much a social drinker! Has several tales of ‘too much’ esp first year at uni! But she doesn’t drink if we are out for dinner or at home. DD3 drinks those pre-mix cocktail cans and usually takes 3/4 to parties and only drinks those. I buy the ones that are 3-4% (some can be 6-7%). I lecture them all the time about the vulnerability of being drunk and how they need to take care.

DD2 says she doesn't like the taste of alchol she tried so far - older two said same - we offered it with meals or christmas in later teens and variety of flavours.

Older two at Uni now have alcholic preferences. Within first week DS said he'd been to pub and had a beer - he didn't like beer before that apparently. I did get the impression - and DH says he gets it from his students - they go out less for pubs and it's a likely to be a meal in pub as alcholic drinks.

I don't drink much - and even less post pg and kids agrees with me less - DH and his parenst drink though they've massively cut back in last decade as well.

@NotDonna you have it spot on I think . I know I apologise for not drinking . I also feel obliged to drop everyone home when I go out with my local friends - and sometimes I just want my bed

DD was at a mostly STEM girlies get together at someone's house. Parents out most of the evening but no alcohol drunk.

One less thing to worry about. Phew!

For once good news from the Quietly camp - DS1 passed his theory test yesterday - huge phew from me - it’s such a faff setting it up again and again .

He’s had his report BBBC targets based on GCSE average points score and B+D+C achievement so far . Sub optimal in his words , his friends are apparently similar . We’ve had conversations about maybe dropping Further Maths or the EPQ - but he seems to be powering on . I’ve told him there will be no drama from us and he’s to do what he feels is best .

Good news too DS2 managed to pass most of his GCSE mocks - so if he does some work all will be good 🤞

Well done on the theory test success @waitingquietly. The predicted grades thing is tricky. Technically, unless going for one of a few very specific courses, no unis require more than 3 A-levels and 3 higher grades is going to get him more places than 4 less good ones and an EPQ. Still it’s a tough decision to make.

We are still waiting for dd’s provisional driving licence. She has a relatively rare medical condition which despite having no impact on her day to day life technically falls within the boundaries of a group of conditions that need reporting to the DVLA and I have a horrible feeling that there will be a few hoops to jump through.

Nearly there on end of term. Dd finishes next Wednesday so we’re in the frantic scrabbling part of term. She’s in school all week this week (even Saturday and Sunday!) with various things on. We’ll all be ready for a rest. I hope everyone else’s dcs are getting on ok.