End of Year 13: Results, Summer and plans for September and onwards

[Rollergirl11]

Noticed the current thread is almost full so thought I better start a new one for discussing results day and our DC’s plans for uni/gap years or anything else!

Was missing DD a bit this morning and then discovered the church choir that she’s joined live streams the services on YouTube so I watched some of it and there she was singing 😊

They said there was a free soup lunch afterwards and later on this afternoon DD and I had a nice long lot of messages (neither of us are too good at FaceTime 😀) and she said she’d had free lunch 😊 also a group of friends made brownies yesterday and visited a city farm that’s next to her accommodation block.

She also said she’s been going out a lot 😃 She has also been studying it appears so I think all is OK there.

@QueenMabby glad that Ds says his flatmates are nice but poor DD 😞 and you too I should think.

Thanks @MirandaWest - I'm doing ok. Trying not to text him all the time!

Glad your dd is doing well - am jealous you get to see her on the livestream!

Drop off was well organised at IC with large trolleys waiting and helpers on hand to unload and escort to rooms. Ds room is small but well organised with a new en-suite. Loads of storage and more desk space than at home. Double bed too.

Not had a lot of communication since Saturday although he has ordered something to home which he needs so I'll meet him in central London later in the week to hand it over and should get the low down then. Felt quite tearful yesterday and a bit flat as it's empty nest for us now. Went out with dh last night and we've vowed to do a lot of clearing and cleaning over the next few weeks. Loft is full of stuff and need to clear out ds wardrobe and drawers.

The journey there was fine at just over four hours, but coming home took five and a half, not helped by the heavy rain though.

She's in a flat of 10, and has met all but one of them. She messaged last night and seems happy, but nothing as yet today..

Day trip to see DC at the weekend which was lovely. But I was still in tears when we left. Feeling slightly pathetic at this (although I warned DC I would cry). Am wondering if it’s going to get easier - we won’t see them again now for a month.

How often to people normally see their DCs at uni? I assumed we'd maybe see ds once between now and Christmas but maybe I should be aiming for more? He's 2 1/2 hours away but a direct train....

We will see DD twice this term. She has booked cheap flights home (from Scotland) for a weekend in November, then we are going up for a couple of days partly to see her and partly to enjoy the Christmas markets!

I think once or twice a term is pretty normal. DD has a couple of appointments here but other than that I'm not sure if she'll be back before Christmas. I'll be in her city in November for work so hope to buy her dinner or something then.

DS came back once in his first term and we saw him again at a family gathering close to his uni.

Ours never come home in term time or Easter holidays, but we usually have seen them a couple of times a term for lunch/supermarket when we're in their cities (as we have family there).

Once a term has been the norm for our older two DC but I suspect we may see DS2 a bit more often as a)he's much nearer home and b) the company my DH works for has its headquarters in DS's University city. DH doesn't go there very frequently, maybe once every 4-6weeks, but he'll probably catch up with DS on at least some of those occasions and I may go along for the ride occasionally.
We're expecting DS home in the next few weeks as we have managed to arrange somewhere for him to keep his car up there so he'll need to come and get it soon.

I've been given the impression DD doesn't want to see us before Christmas, but we'll probably visit at some point in the year. It's a fair way away so we'd need to make a mini-break of it. DH isn't good with crowds and long journeys, so hasn't actually seen the college yet and would love to visit.

That all makes me feel a bit better. I'd tentatively set aside a weekend to go up and visit in about a month or so but have said to ds that he can come home for it if he'd rather. Obviously he's welcome any time!

You must do whatever works for you @QueenMabby and your DC, everyone is different. Don’t worry if it isn’t the “norm”! It should be whatever is best for you and your family.

DS is 450 miles away but flies home for either his birthday, or this year for a friends 21st in London Oct/Nov and then we usually go there in Feb as a weekend break. May or may not do that this year.

DD is back for a bit in Nov for reading week. I’ve said if she really wants me to I can visit her before then but she seems fine atm - I think she’s missing the cat more than us! I expect we may fall into a similar pattern - they visit home Oct/Nov and we visit them in Feb but will very much play it by ear and see what they want/what works.

It’s long drive for us and can’t be done there and back in a day, so we plan to visit once per term and by train and stay overnight. Have booked the first train and accommodation and have a 2-together railcard which gives myself and DH a discount (1/3 I think) when buying tickets together. Have booked for 6 weeks into term. DS will be travelling to and from uni by train too as it’s so far. We hope to just do the drive at start and end of academic years, so won’t get to see the uni again at start and end of every term?

We also have some family within an hour’s drive and they will pop by (if wanted) to take DS out for lunch in an odd occasion.

DS has said no visits or trips home until Christmas as he heard somewhere that this will help him settle in. It seems to be going well so far - they certainly keep the freshers busy at Durham. He was out clubbing until 2am but managed to get up for breakfast before suiting and gowning up for a 9am compulsory induction talk by the Principal followed by college matriculation in the chapel. He’s at a History talk now and will have a couple of hours before another full evening of events/entertainment.

DS (year 2) comes back quite often but is only about an hour away by train plus he does some gigs here and also needs to come back for some medical appointments.

DD is intending to fit us in during reading week although is planning a tour of other universities to visit friends too so will see! DH and I have booked a weekend there in November as it’s 4 hours away and even though it’s possible to go there and back in a day it’s rather wearing!

I'm hoping we can go in November but if ds gets much more monosyllabic he may forget us entirely by then! Today's chatty text exchange involved 3 studiedly vague questions from me and the answer 'yes' from him

I’m not one to feel there are differences between sons and daughters - but it’s quite possible I’ve had more words in messages from DD already than I had from DS the whole of last year!

DD is getting very inpatient to start university and has moved all suitcases downstairs but not until next Monday. She's got quite a bit of work lined up plus a floor she could but probably won't tidy. 🤔She mentioned coming home once a term but see how it goes. Had my first hospital check up and looking as good as it can and apparently at the end of surgery when coming round I was talking to the female surgeon as if she was my cat. He is very tall when he stands and pokes me. She seemed quite happy about it so guessing she loves cats too. Have to keep taking it easy so to not as to risk wounds reopening.

No packing done here, he seems to be trying to avoid thinking about it! Fortunately he is not going far away so it won't be the end of the world if he has forgotten something but I am feeling slightly frustrated by his inaction. I think he is actually feeling pretty apprehensive so it's nerves. Sometimes the anticipation is worse than the actual thing and it feels like it's been a long wait for term to start.

@IThinkIMadeItWorse well, my dd (and I) managed to pack her up in less than 4 hours, only forgetting her raincoat, so don't panic. She had, I realise, done a lot of pre-work on which clothes to take, for example - her sisters had counselled her down from 30 jumpers to 20 (she loves jumpers). It was only the actual packing she hadn't started.

@aramox1 my dd2 is like this, and I go for statements rather than questions, or what I've been doing, or in desperation a photo - can often elicit a photo back. She often states I ask too many questions so I work at not doing!

We are not planning to visit dd this term as we are away quite a bit, but ds is going to visit her in November. Not sure if she will come home. When ds was at university we lived five thousand miles away so we never saw him mid term.

Must be hard for those who haven't gone yet! As for the 20 jumpers I am in awe. Ds has revealed he is short of clothes, having determinedly taken little luggage. He's pretty happy though which is lovely. Happy landings all!

I'm feeling like a neglectful Mum reading some of these posts. I left all the packing to DS and if he forgot anything that's his problem. (Apart from the carrier bag I failed to put in the car having been asked to...I hold my hands up to that one!) And he only took one suitcase which contained more or less all the clothes he possesses. Most of the rest of the car was full of sports kit mind you, so he's got virtually no space in his room for normal clothes anyway!
He has his first BUCS match today. He didn't sound very positive about it as they're against a strong team and his team haven't had much training together yet but it's a milestone anyway. I have heard far less from him this week than the first couple of weeks which I am taking as a positive sign. Well I hope so!