Thread 35 - Covid Cohort from GCSE 2020 'What They Did on Their Summer Holidays'

[OrangeCinnamonCroissant]

This is a thread for supporting all young people post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting. It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, please don't within this thread. Please also be sensitive when responding to threads about grades. It's all relative!
Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue.
Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed) We have decided for anyone interested they will find a thread within the Further Ed board.
Possibly a move to Parent of Adult Children Board in future? Post Results?

Previous Thread

Not much to report here. We've managed a short break in the Wye Valley with just the four of us. DCs getting on well with DS using it as an opportunity to coach DD in all things student.

DD has announced she has an 18th party the night before results day - I'm sure it's a great way for the kids to keep their minds off it. I on the other hand am wondering what time she will be home, and what time she will wake up - it's usually after midday post-parties 😱 I can't wait that long!!

I think it’s one of DSs friend’s birthday the day before results day - am wondering whether there will be celebrating. They might wait until results day though.

School has said they can go in for results between 8 and 10. Was hoping UCAS would update before that!

@crazycrofter ive booked the morning off too as I think we will be panicking and going through clearing. I think this is the whole reason DS is worrying about Uni, he hasn’t visited anywhere and we are likely needing clearing, so a bit rubbish really.
@Monkey2001 we've had one of DS friends who has been offered Liverpool medicine next year, another who has been rejected from 2 has been asked if they want to go on the wait list (can’t remember which Uni it was)-having initially been rejected and ready to take a gap year. So they must think there will be some space when results come out.

@sazzy5 you must be dreading it! Hope things work out better than you expect and ds gets a place he’s happy with.

Thank you @singingstones I've been off since last Thurs but done at least two days since then getting everything ready before I go...guess you the same?

Off to Corfu on Thursday Dd choice. Going to airport Hotel tonight then AI Hotel on a beach ⛱ . She is looking forward to trying the cocktails, for a girl that has always insisted she barely drinks she seems to be gearing into it now she is legal (since last Sunday). She even bought me home a gin in a tin and one for herself from work on Monday.

I've found you all 😁
I wondered where you had all gone !
Well done to all the IB'ers.

Nothing much to report here as my A/As takers are on holiday in Malaysia along with dd1 & all have Covid. I'm home, but not alone with my youngest, who wouldn't go on holiday.
He is doing a trial day for a job this weekend though. Hope he proves satisfactory.

I've come over for a moan so please pardon me.
Why can't people just be happy with their choices? I'm having a tough time with a rl mum friendish who constantly wants to know what unis ds has applied to and what's his subject etc etc whilst extremely secretive about her own dc. The conversations always go the same way even though I've tried to distance myself. lots of snippy comments about anyone who dares apply to a top university (they're just doing it for bragging rights), snippy comments about other people's dc's choice of course (as in her DC are doing a better course/subjects e.g Law). Lots of contradicting information that clearly shows they are not satisfied about their dc's uni.

I don't know whether it's that I over share or just too open but I've never understood the secrecy around, 'which universities is your dc thinking of applying to? what do you think think of X uni for my dc bearing in mind their predicted grades?'. Especially when it's not you but the other person asking?? does any of this ring any bells with anyone else? We don't speak very often and haven't seen this woman in years. I try to avoid her calls which means we speak like every 6-8 weeks or so, by which time I always hope the conversation will steer in a different direction, (she has a very pleasant way about her apart from this) but seems consumed by this ongoing competition about universities between her dc and the rest of the world.

It can be exhausting @Shimy tbh. I think we have all experienced it. Those of us with up and down children dont have any option other than honesty anyway so we celebrate the successes but also have to be frank when it all goes tits up.

That sounds awful @Shimy. I have had an uncomfortable feeling that people thought we were aiming too high. I’m not sure she will make the offer so there may be some quiet satisfaction from some people I know, not on this thread! And that will piss me off because it’s just crap to like other peoples disappointment.

I get you @Zebracat and @Shimy !

Also the subject choice competitive snobiness (a bit like on the Higher Ed board)

@ChristopherTracy Exactly! I have one who's naturally academic but very lazy so never gets the grades commensurate with their ability despite lots of begging & cajoling but is now doing reasonably well at his own pace. Then I've got ds2 with SEN who we thought might need a SEN school and prayed he'll be able enough to get 5 GCSEs inc Maths, but seemed blew us all away by dragging himself up from his boot straps (lower sets in everything) to winning a prize at the end of yr 13 in 'mainstream'. I've been that mum that congratulates everyone else with a big smile whilst quietly wiping tears in the car at pick up after reading latest DS's report. So I celebrate each success heartily and the lows we face head on.
I found it's actually been when we've spoken up about our struggles that we've found help.

@Zebracat Nothing at all wrong with aiming high. I'm sure you considered it carefully, why can't people just cheer others on instead of raining on their parade? I think it's a particular kind of nasty affliction why you only feel joy at other people's sadness. Whether she makes the offer or not, I hope you and she just hold your heads up high and she throws herself into wherever she gets into. At least she tried!

@OrangeCinnamonCroissant What is with Law that makes people feel so snooty? I haven't come across this attitude in Medicine parents, I know I'm generalising.

I'm just so fed with this particular mum and I might just blank her altogether now which will be sad as we know quite a lot of people in common, and ds was just asking if it'll be possible to meet up with her DD as they haven't seen in yrs (the DD applying for Law). I'm just dreading such a meet up and how the conversation might go.

@shimy I don't know what it is about law and snootiness. I have a law degree and DS is hoping to do Law (if he makes the stupidly high grades with all the crap that's been going on in his life) Law is really quite boring ( I did joint honours with politics to make it more interesting) and so were my peer group at uni. I didn't really mix with law students. I get all the comments about DS when I share his plans. Nobody is as excited about DD's geography plans even though the courses she's looking at sound amazing. I always wished I'd done a Geography degree instead of law.

@mummyinbeds fantastic that you're a lawyer, you probably best placed to solve this conundrum for me - Is it normal to choose your Law degree specialism at point of entry to uni? if not, at what point do they start to specialise?

@shimy I'm not a lawyer but have always worked in law related things 😁 As I did joint honours I didn't get many options at undergraduate level but could specialise a bit on the LPC (which no longer exists). Law degrees are quite rigid with compulsory subjects. Looking at DS's course description, he gets more opportunities to specialise in year 2 and 4 (year 3 will be in France).

@mummyinbeds Sorry I assumed you were a lawyer. I didn't know the LPC no longer exists. What have they replaced it with?

1 of mine is a doctor, and I’ve had people not hiding their surprise, we aren’t posh enough, apparently. Worse, my others have all been compared unfavourably with their sib. 1 had a lecturer at his University say that his parents must have been very disappointed in him! We weren’t.

@Zebracat What an awful thing to say, re: Lecturer. Some people just do not engage brain at all. Why would you be disappointed in him? loads don't even go to university and still manage to have a good life! I get awkward silences sometimes when people ask what ds wants to study at uni and I say 'Management', I get an awkward pause then, 'Oh!', like it's not impressive enough .

@Zebracat I missed that bit about poshness . At least yer ds noos 'ow to speak proper like.

DD1 was torn between law and anthropology when we went to look around Durham. We got talking to a mother of another applicant who was a lawyer and she convinced DD to go with anthropology. She said a law degree is so boring and you can still become a lawyer with any degree so choose something you’ll enjoy. DD just graduated and loved her subject. She no longer wants to be a lawyer.

Moan away Shimy. These competitive/secretive parents are a pain.

Not much to report here. Everyone is really flat and bored. The atmosphere is horrendous. Dh is miserable because both ds's are rude and non appreciative to him. This has been going on for months. Ds1 and ds2 hate eachother. (Like ican). Why do I have to live in all this?

Ds1 finished with his girlfriend. She was lovely. She was very upset and took it very badly. They both agreed that they should probably go to uni 'free', but I fear his poor social skills? meant he handled the actual finishing badly? She cried and hasn't spoken to him since. Makes me sad to think that such a lovely 2 year relationship has ended so badly, instead of just agreeing to go to uni, but still enjoying eachother's company over the summer, and it ending nicely.

@Shimy Regarding your friend… Is it possible that their DC didn’t get any offers and they are just hoping to get in through clearing so trying to work out what unis might be good? Or that they got a high offer and now worried they won’t get the grades needed? That could explain why they aren’t telling you.

@Oblomov22 sorry you’re in the midst of that. It’s very hard at times. Make time for you. Escape for a bit.

Thank you Benji. Dh thinks I'm wierd. I'm just so sad, about what? ...... her and also others thinking badly of him. Being dumped is never nice admittedly. Like I said I can't seem to get over the sadness of a nice relationship ending so badly, souring the whole thing? instead of ending better.

That's such a shame @Oblomov22 , I can understand the sadness. It's always sad when any relationship or friendship ends like that. She's been a big part of your ds' life - and therefore yours too.

Ds is feeling a bit grumpy; he was anticipating a really exciting summer, but his former best friend has dumped him for better friends 😢and other friends don't seem to be up for doing much. Plus he's spent all his allowance and is still too young to get a job (16 next month). He's going to the gym every day with one or other of his two best friends, but even the cinema seems to have lost its appeal - he's seen too many rubbish films with his cinema pass over the last two months! But he's off to camp on Saturday, then it's our holiday and another camp, so he will hopefully perk up.

@Oblomov22 of course you are sad that your DS has split up with a GF of 2 years! They become part of the family and you emotionally invest in their journey as well as your DS's. DS1 has only had 1 GF we have met, we are very close to her as she lived with us during Covid lock down. DS2 split up with his GF of over 2 years at the beginning of Covid, but I am still friends with her on FB and have spoken to her mum a few times.

I hope your DS can remain friends with her once the rawness of splitting up is over.