Thread 33 - Lovely Jubbly Jubilee Break, then back to Exams

[OrangeCinnamonCroissant]

This is a thread for supporting all young people post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting. It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, please don't within this thread. Please also be sensitive when responding to threads about grades.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue.

Our DS/DD may go down various paths (such as employment, apprenticeships, higher ed) We have decided for anyone interested they will most likely find us within the Further Ed board. Possibly a move to Parent of Adult Children Board in future?
previous thread

Blimey, you lot post so much I’m struggling to keep up!

all going ok here, finally hit half way! Just 6 left! DS is still working hard thankfully and it seems to be going to plan 🤞🤞

I will be really upset when DS goes but will not be showing that to him! All being well he will be going to my old uni so there are lots of exciting things about that too. Older DS moved out to be nearer work at 19 and DH and I both cried after we dropped him off and that was only a 40min drive. He moved back 18ths later as he realised there was no point paying for a room he didn’t stay in much and his girlfriend was over here. So he is at home now but we don’t see him much as he’s either out or working away. This DS going to uni is my little one so it is the end of an era. He will also be a good 3hrs away so not an easy visit for a cuppa. It will be sad but also brings certain freedoms. For single mums like @mango0 it is a different level of change. Btw I also love the way you talk about you and your DD mango, it’s really lovely.

I had to look up what it was(!), but the Millenium Square carpark is very close. If it is a Sunday or after 6:30pm there is a lot of free street parking on Hotwells Road (you have to get a free ticket for first half hour) which is also close. After 4pm it may be possible to pay for street parking until it is free (7:00), but there is quite a lot which is not available until 6:30. Bristol is full of residents parking now. When do you want to park?

Very impressed by Delphi DS - man of the times!

If anyone has friends who don't have medicine offers, Imperial has gone into UCAS Extra. They have to have done BMAT entrance exam and most need A*AA including Bio and Chem, and probably won't be considered if Imperial has already rejected them this year. Very odd for Imperial to be in Extra.

@Monkey2001 thanks! It’s next Wednesday, the gig starts at 6.30 but we’ll probably have a look around the city centre first.

The venue is very near the roundabout on right hand side of this map. I would try to park on the street until 7:00 (£1/hour 3 hours max, but no restrictions after 7:00 in one of the parts marked with green line), but may be best to go to the Millenium Square carpark if no street parking is available (expensive but very convenient). I think it is tricky in the carparks with daytime and evening rates as they don't seem to allow a mixture so if you arrive before 6:00 they sting you! If you are just taxi driver and hanging around during gig, you could park on Hotwells Road at 6:30 as that is when the rush hour restriction ends, so loads available between 6:30 and 7:00.

www.bristol.gov.uk/documents/20182/239215/Detailed+map+of+the+Cliftonwood+and+Hotwells+RPS+area/bcc98cba-e905-436a-b57e-b3032114c631

Good luck for your DS at interview @Monkey2001 , sounds an interesting job which should give him lots of insight working in a hospital setting.
Still hoping Newcastle comes through for him but if not hopefully they will gain lots of experience over the next six months - get their A levels, go through the trauma of medical interviews again, get offers and then in March they can relax and have fun until October.
Roll on the 24th when the A levels and GCSEs are finished!

It’s the WIWIKAU FB group not the mian site @NCTDN . I was thinking more about the crying etc, I think I may well cry but there is no way I’m going to post that fact on FB under my real name (here is different). I also agree that it must be very different for single parents, those with their only child heading off etc.

@mango0 it’s interesting hearing your POV, I figure I was older than you are now when I had my first DC so a totally different life experience, I’m starting to think about retirement for instance, although it probably won’t be for another 8-10 years.

I wince a bit at some of the posts and pictures that go into WIKIKAU, my 2 would be very cross with me. I can see that circumstances very much effect how them leaving will be. I feel I’m at a massive crossroads at the moment and although I will be leaving my lovely friends behind here, I’m moving closer to home so have some there already and hopefully will meet new people.

We’ll all be having a new start so I think that helps and after all the crap of the last year I feel pretty positive. Few more hurdles to jump but we’ll get there.

I think the fact that there are a lot of first time Uni parents on WIWIKAU leads to lots of opinionated posts, not necessarily evidence based. They could perhaps monitor it better. There was a lot of anxiety about universities not giving them full experience during covid, despite many of those said activities traditionally being run by Student Unions which are separate organisations and charities, lots of drama about students having to self isolate before they came home etc. It's great that they set it up , but not always helpful when everyone has the same misinformed opinion.

@OrangeCinnamonCroissant I think the universities were responsible for some of the lack of social activities - certainly at St Andrews the university imposed extremely tight rules (tighter than the already strict Scottish govt rules) which made it impossible for societies to meet face to face for ages. I think student unions were not as creative as they could have been in some places, but I think they needed support from the more experienced people on the university.

2020 was a dreadful year to start university, although our current Y13s have missed out on a lot of the sixth form, and having to do A levels without GCSE experience had been really tough, but in my opinion the 2020 university cohort lost more. First year at university should be such an exciting/fun time and they just didn't have the opportunity to meet people and "find their tribe". It was not so bad for people in S/C accom with communal space who got on well, but if you didn't click with flatmates or were in catered with nowhere to socialise with your "household" it could be a very lonely year. DS1 spent his 20th birthday on a zoom call to us and I ordered him a takeaway which he ate alone. Of course he could have set up a zoom call with friends, but he is much better at asking people to join him at the pub! I am sure studies will be done on who lost most during the pandemic and I think children between 2-11 and students staying university in 2020 will be high on the list.

But our lot will hit a post-Covid university world and have a great time!

Just popping in to wish everyone good luck today. DS has his Eng Lit third paper - Gothic - this morning, he knows his stuff but is nervous today.

I think 2020 starters had a horribly time unless they were lucky. A friend’s DD fared ok as liked her flatmates but DD used to walk past where the halls where she was and she said the windows were covered with post it notes saying how long they had been in isolation for, made me so sad to hear that. DD fared well as was in a student house by then with house mates she got on well with thankfully.

DS and I were talking yesterday on way to station reflecting on past couple of years as was our penultimate drop off trip. It feels a bit surreal now with everything normal again thank goodness, looking back at what we went through. It’s almost at times like a bad dream and didn’t really happen.

Nothing much to report here, DS is boarding so only get a brief text about exams.🤐
Monday's Econ wasn't mentioned. Yesterday's Maths was hard but okay? Ethics not great 😟😞though felt he'd done better than expected in first exam so he's hoping that will balance out.

As he's planning a gap year with travel to some far flung obscure places, I'm saving any worrying😮 for that rather than him going to university. I agree Covid has meant they are somewhat immature with the ways of the world, so it'll be a sharp learning curve for him. He only went on his first solo train trip in this last year and has never even been on a bus by himself!

@mummyinbeds DD was happy with Core Maths, said it was better than the 1st paper which suprised her. Glad it's over though and she can now concentrate on her Biology & Pyschology.

@Monkey2001 Good luck to your DS with his interview, sounds perfect for him if he doesn't get Newcastle. I'm very impressed with the back up plans in place for him, especially doing Chemistry and now work experience.

@Fruitybasket pleased your DD felt able to take the exam. How is she feeling now?

@singingstones Thanks for the heads up re clearing opening on 5th July, it's now down on the spreadsheet calendar so it's happening ;-)

We need to do some prep work DD may well throw a curveball and want to change her mind! She mentioned if she gets much higher than needed for Nottingham (AAB) she may have a rethink and see where else is available and possibly change course (wasn't expecting that) she seems to be really interested in Human Science that Oxford offers so wants to see if anywhere else offers similar. Also said if she gets grades in-between the 2 offers she will look at ditching her insurance. Although said if she gets BBB she would happily go to York.
Got to be honest I am really hoping she gets AAB so just sticks with Nottingham as it's all sorted and it was what she wanted (although maybe because she didn't think she would get A*s so just have to wait and see what happens...

@mango0 Totally get how you feel. DD is an only child and my DH had previously worked away all week for years so it's been DD and myself a lot of the time. I also don't live where I grew up - moved away to get DD into better schools etc. So I don't have the same friendships here that I do back home. I'm starting to rekindle friendships here that had slipped during the last couple of years but it's hard as other people seem to be much busier than I am - I don't work full time and I'm not studying like a few of my friends.

I definitely need to find some new hobbies myself means I've lot the group friendship that always brought. Especially with DD going away meaning won't be watching her play every Saturday. DH wants to stop coaching and play himself again so that will be fun to watch and have a beer after but I need my own thing too. No idea what to do though as I've always played hockey or tennis etc. Actually tennis would be fun to take up again (I am very overweight and unfit but would manage a fun group session kind of thing - just not ready for league etc.

Actually that is on my plan when DD goes away - I have decided to make some big changes and lose weight and get fit. Not the best timing as I am definitely lower and less motivated at the moment due to being menopausal but needs to be done and will be much easier once DD leaves. Although she is very healthy and fit herself it means no snacks in the house and we can what we like rather than what DD likes... Also means I can work out at home with being embarrassed. DD has often asked if I wanted to do something with her - ie she would help but I just can't let her see just how unfit I actually am at the moment. We have a treadmill so that will finally get some use from me rather than hanging my coat on it!

@ealingwestmum I can't post on my mobile at all, have to wait to come onto the PC (hence the really long posts). Seems a few people are having problems since the upgrade...

@PaddingtonPaddington Hope your DD is having fun now - although guessing she will have to wait until her friends finish to properly enjoy the freedom. How does it feel for you without the exam stress? :-)

@Delphigirl well done to your DS - both of you should be proud.

@Volterra - good luck with the move and new start - how exciting - when does it happen?

Re snacks - arrived and much appreciated. Thanks to those that posted what they bought as I got some inspiration.

re WIWIKAU - I just ignore those posts tbh. I will be sad when DD goes and I am sure I will cry but there is a lot of fun times to be had before then, so I don't want to waste time worrying about it. I can't wait for her to start tbh as I really do believe she will love it.

Apologies for the very long post - I actually had to write down what I wanted to say as so much to reply to :-)

@Heifer She’s still ill but improving and now I have it too! Which is a nightmare as so busy with work.

So sorry Fruitybasket, hope you’re better very soon 💐
Heifer it was meant to be end of the month but buyers have had trouble with getting mortgage we found out end of last week. Agent said this morning they have positive news and are hopefully coming this afternoon to talk to us which would be good as I have a few questions I want to ask if we are going ahead with them.

Well done to Delph ds. Love a good feminist!

I sat down with ds last night and did 3 sheets of psychology theory, then only 1 of 3 sheets on schizophrenia. But he was so tired. He looked a bit dead behind the eyes. I've never seen him like this before.

Hope your buyers can get their mortgage @Volterra . Our house got devalued by the mortgage lender and our buyers couldn’t make up the difference, but we’ve stuck with them at a lower price and it seems to be going smoothly. Lots of people are having problems though; mortgage lenders have really tightened up. My parents are trying to move too and having issues with the chain.

Hope you feel better soon @Fruitybasket . Has anyone got exams today? Ds is doing GCSE Biology 2 and dd is revising at the library for Psychology 3 tomorrow.

Thanks for the info @Monkey2001 . I’m going to the gig too so can’t wait in the car unfortunately! We’ll probably try that car park.

@Heifer I read somewhere (maybe in the Guardian article linked on this thread?) that high tariff courses are unlikely to be in Clearing this year, but I guess she can see whether anything good comes up when it opens. Is Physiology similar to Human Science? I thought human sciences leading to hospital jobs might qualify for the £5k grant, but I don't think they do.

@Fruitybasket sorry to hear you are unwell, but I am sure that if you had a choice about who was improving, you would choose DD. Nearly there now.

I agree that the Uni starters in 2020 had a terrible time. All the debt, and only the last year attending proper Uni. Its heart breaking that they missed out on so much fun.

Sorry to hear about the mortgage/moving issues. We are re-mortgaging now - oh the joys - debating fixed v tracker...

I will miss DD terribly when she goes, she' my only but I've two much older step children around too. I don't think I'd post much about it, it would probably make me feel worse!

Good luck to everyone sitting exams to day.

@Heifer losing weight and getting fit is something DH and I plan for September too. I have never been the sporty kind and weight has gradually crept up - especially over lockdown. It will be good to be able to change our diet - DD is very fussy, and her being gluten free doesn't help. Activity-wise I am limited - have a bad back, and my knees are shot (hopefully they would improve a bit if I lost weight), so it's down to walking really which is very boring.

@Oblomov22 if it's any consolation, we didn't get round to schizophrenia yesterday either! A load of stuff on relationships and forensics DD is shattered. She hasn't really known what to concentrate on this week - business and psych tomorrow and biology on Friday, and doesn't really feel confident in any of them.

DS started uni in 2020 and to be honest I think he had a pretty good time. He was in halls, got on really well with his flatmates (he is in a house with the same group this year), and mixed with others in his block (probably contravening loads of rules but still...). He did loose his original place due to the cock up over A level results and ended up on the foundation course, but that meant he basically did Freshers this year along with the newbies on his course. Yes, he caught covid, along with the rest of his flatmates, but they dealt with it. This year has almost been back to normal (he is lucky in that F2F was reinstated as soon as it was allowed).

I actually think our Y13s have had it much harder. They lost most of their education for 6 months and then had to leap straight into A levels which is a hard transition at the best of times. Then had another lockdown just as they were finding their feet. They were totally restricted in terms of their social lives and gaining independence exactly when it is usual for that to happen (after GSCEs and into 6th form). Probably being at home, under the watchful eyes of parents, they were made to stick to the rules, unlike those at uni who I am sure at best bent them slightly. And they are still feeling the effects now, having to sit public exams with no prior experience, with the measures intended to help them seemingly making things worse in many cases. They have had to compete for far fewer uni places due to the high level of deferrals, and the reluctance of unis to give out too many offers after having been bitten on the bum last year. And then they will (hopefully) head off to uni with much less experience of life, socialising and everything else.

It’s strange, but I don’t feel dd has missed out on much, other than not being able to do her usual camps and summer activities in 2020. She was glad to miss GCSEs, she settled into sixth form fine and enjoyed lots of FaceTimes etc with her new friendship group during that Jan-Feb lockdown, as well as finding a whole new group of Christian friends via an online group (who she subsequently went to a festival with in the summer). As soon as restrictions eased in March 2021, her group started organising garden gatherings and she did all the normal festivals and stuff last summer. She managed to get a job last Christmas and did some tutoring last summer so she’s got the work experience too.

I’m sure it’s partly a personality thing though; dd was pretty independent by year 10, so start of sixth form wasn’t such a critical time for her.

I’m sure all our kids will catch up over the next few years and hopefully have a brilliant time at uni.

Yes I agree about the posts on WIWIKAU fb page. Some of them really overshare and I wouldn’t be popular with my DC if I posted personal stuff on there under my real name!

@Volterra i hope your meeting with the buyers goes well and they don’t try to bargain with you further.

@Heifer and @Seeline , yes the getting fit and losing weight thing is also on our agenda. I have always been very overweight and every few years lose a couple of stone and then it later goes on again. Along with stomach issues which mean I have to have a low fibre diet which is the opposite of standard diet advice, I also have shot knees too so understand the frustrations and limitations seeline. Have you tried a cross trainer? My knees can cope with that ok most of the time. I am currently going to the gym with a friend 2/3 times a week, she runs and I use the cross trainer. I too, am far too embarrassed to excercise at home, I’m sure they all know I am really unfit but I’m not keen to actually demonstrate it. I have a volcano to hike up in January so really do need to get a shift on!

Like some others, I also need to concentrate on nurturing some friendships that have gone by the by a bit as we all get on with everyday life. We went to a village event for the jubilee and it was odd how few people we knew whereas a few years ago we’d have known loads as DH was scout leader and I was involved with the school. It was a bit of a wake up call that we need to make some effort, but I can be fairly solitary and it is easy to not get round to socialising.

DS has further maths this afternoon and is officially over half way through!!! The end is in sight at last.

Good Luck to any exam takers today.

I have not tried a cross trainer @272 - I have always been far too embarrassed to try a gym and wouldn't know where to start! I did do zumba about 10 years ago which I really enjoyed but my knees wouldn't cope now. A volcano hike sounds amazing - which one?!

Anecdotally, and it may not be true for your individual DCs, lockdown had a positive impact on students' independent study and learning. My year 13s are far better at researching things, and far more willing to look at websites, watch documentaries, read books and newspapers and hunt down news than year 12 who want spoon feeding and have no curiosity. Some of this is the nature of the students but a lot of it is those months at home with nothing better to do and hours to fill - and that developed an interest in some ideas for lots of them.

It's not true for all, of course but quite a few year 13s have said tings along the line of 'I was stuck at home so thought I would read Invisible Women/ watch Steve McQueen documentary ' etc.