Thread 31 Covid Cohort - Hopping through Easter and Revision

[OrangeCinnamonCroissant]

This is a thread for supporting all young people post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting. It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, please don't within this thread. Please also be sensitive when responding to threads about grades.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue.

Our DS/DD may go down various paths (such as employment, apprenticeships, higher ed) We have decided for anyone interested they will most likely find us within the Further Ed board.

previous Thread 30

I've made this one a little bit earlier as things are so busy, at home and on thread, so please feel free to use up previous thread first

Sorry - Isthis not Isit!

I’ve not properly dived since before kids @Wheresthebeach but had my advanced then and did some amazing dive based holidays back in the mists of time. The kids are keen to learn too so should be fun! It’s the time the whale sharks migrate through so we’re spending part of the time where we should see them (although I think that’s actually generally a snorkel rather than a dive)

Yay for firming Pompey @Wheresthebeach ! We've started visiting Southsea a lot with the dog , they have some nice outdoor cafes indie restaurants etc on Palmerston Rd. Nice vibe , live music in places etc.
@Isthisjustnormal I'm not a diver but have snorkelled with Turtles off Akumal Bay. Loved it. We are doing Bayahibe in DR in January without Dd , looking forward to.winter sun again , fingers crossed😉. Corfu this July with her!

Wow to Dd ! She sounds amazing !

Whale sharks!!! Oh how amazing IsThis.

We have a week in Cornwall booked for the 4 of us, but that’s all we’ve been able to squeeze in around the DC’s summer plans so far; DD is off to Alicante with the girls, CenterParcs with her BFF, and Reading, DS has a couple of music courses, and then of course we need to be back for both results days.

Regarding revision, and mood, it’s a tale of two cities here - DS is doing about 4 hours a day for GCSEs, happy to be given help, cheerful and positive (first exams next week)…DD hasn’t spoken to us since Sunday, doesn’t care about us/A levels/uni/ her life, shuts herself in her room day and night, and is generally horrible.
I’ve stopped asking about revision or future plans and have resigned myself (for the first time ever) to having to accept that things may not work out as hoped/planned.
I can’t make her feel enthusiastic about her future, and we’ve done all we can to show her what choices she has, so if she doesn’t engage with any of them, I’m not sure what else we can do.
Of course, we’ll be expected to pick up the pieces in August, but for now, I’ve stepped away.

@Alsoplayspiccolo

We have a week in Cornwall booked for the 4 of us, but that’s all we’ve been able to squeeze in around the DC’s summer plans so far; DD is off to Alicante with the girls, CenterParcs with her BFF, and Reading, DS has a couple of music courses, and then of course we need to be back for both results days.

Regarding revision, and mood, it’s a tale of two cities here - DS is doing about 4 hours a day for GCSEs, happy to be given help, cheerful and positive (first exams next week)…DD hasn’t spoken to us since Sunday, doesn’t care about us/A levels/uni/ her life, shuts herself in her room day and night, and is generally horrible.
I’ve stopped asking about revision or future plans and have resigned myself (for the first time ever) to having to accept that things may not work out as hoped/planned.
I can’t make her feel enthusiastic about her future, and we’ve done all we can to show her what choices she has, so if she doesn’t engage with any of them, I’m not sure what else we can do.
Of course, we’ll be expected to pick up the pieces in August, but for now, I’ve stepped away.

I'm steering clear of revision talk here too @Alsoplayspiccolo . DS has definitely picked up on revising, but I'm not convinced it'll be quite enough. Don't want to say anything and put him off at least trying something. The only difference with DS is he has his future mapped out (Uni, good job, nice car etc), but seems to be forgetting the extra work he needs to do - esp as he's firmed a Uni who want higher grades than he's predicted . I'm stressed, he's not (externally)...

Yes, in a new and unwelcome move here DS has started both vaping and going out on school nights. Great timing after not being that interested for all of his teenage years!

@Heifer @Wheresthebeach

yes DS2 has been told there’s no study leave and that they have to go their normal lessons on days they don’t have exams and they will revise in those lessons.
no official word from the school at all though.

this is technically their first year of GCSE’s as they were a new school when DS1 started and of course his exams and last years exams were cancelled

It's almost as if our DC's are 2 years behind in maturity, because of Covid, ChristopherTracy - DD says she feels too young for the life changes expected of her, and she certainly!y isn't as independent as I'd expect a 21st century 18 year old to be.
Her BFF has recently started smoking, going mad with piercings, cut off all her hair and dyed it red, having sex in toilets... It's what you'd hope they'd either grown out of by now, or were too old to think about doing now.

Sorry you’re having trouble with your dc @Alsoplayspiccolo @ChristopherTracy . I guess we need to remember that lots of teens have rebelled/gone a bit wild over the years and come through it unscathed. Not so easy when it’s yours though!

@Alsoplayspiccolo maybe she genuinely isn’t ready to leave home yet? People mature at different points, so it’s nothing to be ashamed of. She could still defer her place and do something different next year? Obviously that would mean another year of you coping with her full time 😫😂

Sympathy to @Alsoplayspiccolo and @ChristopherTracy It’s such a tricky age for them and us.

You're probably right, Crazy. She's immature in a lot of ways, at least partly due to ADHD. However, from what I can see, she doesn't have any desire to grow up, insofar as doing anything for herself; if she defers, she'll need to get a job or do something constructive, but all the signs are that she's prefer to stay at home, being patented and waited on hand and foot.
At some point, she needs to learn some life skills and independence, which will require effort on her part that she hasn't shown any sign of yet.
Tbh, my MH won't stand a year of the way she's behaved recently - she's been vile and absolutely impossible to deal with. I know she's finding life tough, and I empathise, I really do, but if she's not going to do anything to help herself, it's hard to keep taking the abuse without responding.

parented.

@22Newnames Funny I had a similar convo with ds re: What happens if he doesn't meet insurance grades also AAB and he responded the same, 'Do you have such little belief in me?', I said it's not about belief it's about being realistic & thinking ahead and making a plan C.

@mummyinbeds

Is it your DD going to Africa? if not apologies I just can't scroll up and down on this new format anymore,(doing my head in!). What a brave girl! hope she got all her jabs. Where in Africa is she visiting, country wise they are so different across the regions.

Having stated a few days ago that DS had pretty much decided his choices but was waiting for the offer day for the new course at Bath on 7 May to finally decided, he came home today and said he had pressed the button in his maths class earlier!!! Apparently someone was on UCAS and he decided there and then to go on and do it!

Only £160 spent on train tickets for the upcoming offer day for him to be sure and make up his mind.... I blinking hope he likes it as it's over 14 days from today!! To be fair he likes the university and the city and we stayed there last summer but he hasn't seen the department or met any of the staff yet. I just hope he doesn't get put off.

Blimey, they do make you sweat don't they!! DH has been away for work and I think we were both already in need of a beer when he gets home, I haven't yet dropped this latest one on him

For @singingstones Firm Bath AAA/A*AB/AABB Insurance Nottingham AAB

Finally I think I have got this to work again (hopefully - have had several goes at posting with no success so far)

Sympathies to those struggling - we are having similar angst with DS barely doing any work and DD (y11) being absolutely horrible. I think DS doesn't really know how to revise and won't accept any help from us either. There's not much I can do, he'll just have to sink or swim
so I'm trying my best not to keep talking about it. It's a bit like being in the Fawlty Towers "don't mention the war" episode.

Like many I am looking forward to our first holiday since 2019, have booked a gite in Languedoc with a pool and fully intend on doing very little apart from swimming, reading, drinking wine and eating cheese. DS also has trips to Greece and West Wales with his friends. Plus a weekend camping with family and the end of term school shindig.

Isthisjust Mexico was our first ever long haul trip with the DC and we did the snorkelling with whale sharks, amazing. It was quite busy though, lots of boats and swimmers in a small area. I thoroughly recommend a cheap disposable camera that will work underwater, as I can hardly believe we did it now. We had a great time on that holiday and the DC frequently ask to go back.

Hi @Shimy yes it's my DD going to Africa. She's going to Ghana to volunteer in a school and has slotted in a trip to the rainforest to have lunch with crocodiles, do a treetop walk and then a stay on a beach African drumming. She's broken her flight on the way back in Egypt to see the pyramids. Jabs are in hand, need to sort her visa ( complicated because she's under 18). She is brave 💪 At the same age I went on a club 18-30 holiday 🤣

@mummyinbeds Ghana is one of the safer countries and is developing at a rapid pace. Very peaceful too, I think she will enjoy it very much. If she's really adventurous, she should try and get down to one of the markets and buy some of the beautiful 'kente' fabric they sell.

Thanks @Shimy I'll tell her to look for a market. She's planning on the market in Cairo but shopping looks limited where she's staying in Ghana. She does have a couple of nights in Accra but has already found a Nike shop and KFC on Google maps 🙃

Loving all this holiday chat. Mexico and shark diving. Mummy that Ghana trip sounds Uber cool.

@mummyinbeds is your DD planing the Africa trip herself or is it a school trip? There was a big rise in Y12/13 organised trips with a charitable dimension pre-Pandemic. Super impressive if she has planned all that without help!!

I haven’t heard yet about study leave for Ds. He’s doing one subject at a different school & had a mock exam there last week. Because it was a different time to his other exams there was no official study leave & he got into trouble for skipping class the day before to revise… To be honest I was a bit short with the attendance officer who phoned me - they are still only going into school if they have a class 🙄so it’s very random & I leave the house before him. Plus he’s an adult, so take it up with him, not me!
Regarding planning for the worst, in the past I’ve secretly researched what was going to be available in Clearing the day before results day but have not needed to go down that route for the older two.

Ds has quite a bit planned for the summer - a holiday with friends once exams are over (paying for it himself) & a few festivals. Don’t know if he will want to come on a family holiday. I’m hoping he will get a summer job.

@Monkey2001 she's doing the trip on her own. The actual volunteering is with a company who organise accomodation during the placement and someone on the ground out there to provide support. The rest is down to her with lots of advice from the company but no actual help with bookings or anything. They have put her in touch with other people who will be there around the same time. They're all a bit older but a like minded bunch so hopefully she'll get on fine and be looked after a little bit.

@mummyinbeds Super impressed with your DD's independence and organisational skills.

DS has an end of Aug birthday so I told him months ago no point in even thinking of going on the post A level booze fuelled week in the sun with school friends. I booked a week in the UK last autumn when who knew if travel was gong to revert to normal this year. I've just booked a short trip to Iceland for DS and me after results. Prices to the Med made it seem like a relative bargain.