Thread 27 Covid Cohort Snow or Like Spring? Let's Do This Thing!

[OrangeCinnamonCocktail]

This is a thread for supporting all young people post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting. It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, please don't within this thread. Please also be sensitive when responding to threads about grades.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue.

Our DS/DD may go down various paths (such as employment, apprenticeships, higher ed) We have decided for anyone interested they will most likely find us within the Further Ed board.

previous thread found here

@Fonty I said I'd never take my boys away together again too. Last time was 2 and half years ago to Devon. They argued constantly. We went to cheddar gorge and they argued non stop in the caves, everyone was staring. Ds3 was 10 at the time and spend most of the holiday crying. It was awful. Thankfully the older 2 dont want to holiday with us now. But it was only their third family holiday as we've hardly been away due to dh farming.

Ds1 has just turned down his summer job. He usually works at a grain company for harvest. He told them his younger brother will be interested in the job as it will be July, Aug and 3 weeks of sept each summer. Ds1 has done it for 3 years. He's not actually got another job. Seems he's intending to do nothing after uni. But that's another story. Ds2 wants the job, but he won't email the lady. I've told him what to say. She is recruiting for the summer now. But how I get Ds to apply I do not know. He makes me cross sometimes.

@Alsoplayspiccolo - congratulations!@Oblomov22 - Hope your DS has a Happy Birthday - big Lasagne fans here!
@GoldenRuby - Welcome we are ones of many waiting on Durham - we had an early offer for Exeter but not bothered and prefers Durham.

Been quiet on here as feel bad as DD and I get on really well. Think it helps she is number 3 and pretty chilled out. DS1 and DH can clash occasionally as different personalities.

There is hope if a child seems mean and makes you super sad. DS2 - middle child - really tough between 14-18 (previously kind and sweet) as wound up DS1 all the time and while no major issues (no drugs or gangs) would go out with mates at 9pm in cars not returning until 2-3 in morning and would go off to Europe with friends mid week for the day on cheap flights or off to London and no contact to say he was ok and out to the next morning - really selfish. Struggled to settle to A levels and lots of unkindness and off handedness with me. Since went to Uni transformed - gives me big hugs, super kind and texts me and calls me - have great chats. Feel very loved and close to him again xx

Freebies - DSs got sunglasses Portsmouth uni and a heap of other things in 2016-2018

This year - York - fabric bag and nice quality green notebook (moleskin style and quality) with green matching pen (not bad was the DD's opinion) - offer day York (but the lunch bag was pants - sandwiches, crisps and a bottle of water).

Drop off day at Herts Uni when DS2 went there was free Mr Whippy for all the family (DD loved this but she cried so much as they had got super close when DS2 and her had been left together when DS1 left for uni before), free candy floss, free mugs and welcome pack with biscuits and teabags and pizza!

I think it’s supportive to hear the good stories @Fruitygal as well as some of our slightly more gloomy ones. Gives us hope!

Sorry to hear your eldest is being evasive about the summer job @icanbewhatiwant. And your cheddar story. Grrr. It’s sooo frustrating. Had that last summer with DD who thought she could just swan around doing nothing for weeks. Eventually she did get bored of that and has sorted herself out. Keeping fingers crossed your son will decide the money is useful!

DS eventually checked UCAS tonight & he has a history offer from Exeter (AAA). I’m v relieved! Congrats to you too @Isthisjustnormal. Hopefully @GoldenRuby Exeter will be rolling them out soon.

@OrangeCinnamonCocktail good luck for the audition tape. I’m keeping everything crossed for the scholarship for you.

First one in the bag definitely eases the pressure for your DS Fonty, good to hear.

I’m sorry I missed DS’s birthday @oblomov. Accept my belated best wishes please? As you can see from my posting time I’m working so hard I’ve basically gone nocturnal… but still have to get up at 8 so not much sleep going on for me these days.

Some in DS’s school got Durham offers yesterday - history and computer science. Still nothing for DS.

@icanbewhatiwant was it you wondering about jobs for history graduates? I did history (undergraduate and postgraduate) and am a solicitor. The people in my postgrad class generally became lawyers, academics, teachers or went on to do “business” type jobs. One now has fab job in film in US - started out as researcher and went from there. The work she submitted to get the researcher job was something we co-authored - and, just saying, I’ve never noticed in the credits (or in fact her speech after winning a documentary award) any mention of “And, most if all, heartfelt thanks to Horace for making it all possible. Not that I am bitter …

Congratulations @Fonty!

Congratulations to Fonty & Piccolo.
Welcome Ruby.

My 2 are not super close, and can certainly fight, but in the main rub along quite happily. We've managed 2 UK family holidays over the last 2 years without major incident, and every now an then DS will be really kind to his little sister - accompanying her to gigs that none of her friends want to go to etc. She didn't seem to miss him when he went to uni though 😆

Getting a bit stressed here - all DDs top 3 unis have opened their accomodation now. She doesn't want to firm her decision until after mocks which end at the beginning of March, and she has two offer days after that. Just wondering if they'll be any left by then 😕

@Horace123 yes Ds2 wants to study history with philosophy. Thanks for the info. So many ask if he wants to teach when we mention history. That's annoying she's never mentioned you.

Horace If there’s one thing worse than the usual men taking credit for when things go well and shafting you when they don’t, is the lack of sister solidarity (and clearly credit)!

Of course I am being light hearted (but still true) and generalising hugely!

@Seeline

My 2 are not super close, and can certainly fight, but in the main rub along quite happily. We've managed 2 UK family holidays over the last 2 years without major incident, and every now an then DS will be really kind to his little sister - accompanying her to gigs that none of her friends want to go to etc. She didn't seem to miss him when he went to uni though 😆

Getting a bit stressed here - all DDs top 3 unis have opened their accomodation now. She doesn't want to firm her decision until after mocks which end at the beginning of March, and she has two offer days after that. Just wondering if they'll be any left by then 😕

That's my worry @Seeline , DS's favourite is opening their accommodation from today and he's hanging on to go and do open days/wait for mock results

I swear I'm going to have no hair left by the summer

@sofakingcool well hopefully it's not just our two with that approach and there will be some accommodation left!!

Congratulations @fonty. Lovely offer.

The accommodation stuff is so stressful. It should really open all at the same time.

If it's any consolation my two step kids didn't get on. DSD even complained about how DSS breathed! He couldn't do anything that didn't irritate her. Now in their late twenties and they are incredibly close.

@sofakingcool @Seeline This is our current stress too - waiting on one more uni response but it was her original favourite! But very aware that accommodation places are opening up and not wanting to miss out!!!

DS has luckily had all of his responses from uni's but still keen to wait

He is also keen to get the best accommodation going though! Thinking he may end up a bit disappointed

I have two DDs. They don’t really spend any time together so no arguments but they don’t speak to each other either. It’s like having a couple of tenants that don’t pay rent but eat your food and just stay in their own room.

I don’t think DD2 will notice when DD1 goes to uni.

@Wheresthebeach

Congratulations *@fonty*. Lovely offer.

The accommodation stuff is so stressful. It should really open all at the same time.

If it's any consolation my two step kids didn't get on. DSD even complained about how DSS breathed! He couldn't do anything that didn't irritate her. Now in their late twenties and they are incredibly close.

Yes I agree, personally I think uni's shouldn't be allowed to open their accommodation until after the final date students have to confirm their firm/insurance choices

Just feels like the uni's are playing a bit of a game

I’m just going to tell dd not to set her heart on any particular accommodation or even think too hard about it when she comes to choose.

Great news on the Exeter offers!

Welcome, Ruby. We're also waiting to here from Glagow and Edinburgh. And Manchester, who I didn't realise would be late to get in touch. I guess it depends a lot on the department.
2 of our 3 DCs don't get on at all either. Our holiday low point was in Cornwall, DD2 taunting DD1 on a big rock on the coast and throwing shoes or sand or something at her. In trying to move away from that, DD1 fell - debate on how far, but too far, and broke wrist but luckily nothing worse. After that, DD1 (then 15) didn't come on holiday with whole family for 7 years. Braved it this Christmas though, and after initial hostilities blew up between DDs, the storm blew over and they ended up getting on quite well. I'm very cautiously optimistic that their relationship might sort itself out in the end.

Oh my goodness @DoggerelBank! That must have been awful 😢
I am glad that things are improving between them.

@Horace123 it was me too wanting to know about history jobs, DS really can't see himself in an office environment (or WFH from that matter). I am becoming more and more convinced he should go for the countryside/heritage degree instead.

Fantastic news on the Exeter offers!

I have hit a low today, after yesterday’s brief high.
DD’s mock results were (high)B, C, D.
The C was in Rnglish, which is her degree subject, and the D was accompanied by “adequate” for attitude to learning; this is for geography, for which she has been predicted B and her reference described her as a first class geographer and very conscientious.

DD finds geography hard, but worked so hard for the mock, almost at the expense of her other subjects.
We emailed her teacher before she submitted her UCAS, asking for a brutally realistic prediction so that she could adjust her uni choices if needed; we never got a response, but he spoke to DD and reassured her.

She is in despair.
Her top 3 uni choices require AAB/ABB (or ABC/BBB if she chooses RHUL for either firm or insurance). Her predictions are AAB.
She says she can’t work any harder; certainly, she can’t put in more hours without her MH and physical well-being suffering more.

We have parent teacher meetings online tonight - strictly 7 minutes each to discuss what needs to happen next. Parents of year 13 have been told to trust the process, that the teachers are experts and know what needs to be done, and that if they listen with an open mind and write down everything they’re told, all will be fine. However, my worry, always, is that they are not experts in ADHD or DD, and the general rules of input = results don’t apply to her; there is no guarantee that she’ll follow the expected trajectory of other students from this point in time.

I can feel the panic rising in my chest.

I wrote the same post last month Piccolo as DD also got BCD in her mocks and she too says she can't work any harder than she already is - running on empty as it is. I wonder if they think that if they give harsher mock grades it will trick the students into working harder - do you think that could be the case? For DD that doesn't work. She just got despondent and close to giving up as giving it her all as it is. Hate the stick and no carrot approach. So feel for your DD. Hope parents evening throws some light on the matter.