Thread 27 Covid Cohort Snow or Like Spring? Let's Do This Thing!

[OrangeCinnamonCocktail]

This is a thread for supporting all young people post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting. It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, please don't within this thread. Please also be sensitive when responding to threads about grades.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue.

Our DS/DD may go down various paths (such as employment, apprenticeships, higher ed) We have decided for anyone interested they will most likely find us within the Further Ed board.

previous thread found here

No offence taken here , Brummie living in London for 24 years now!

DD had a good trip to Manchester last weekend. Found the city compact yet interesting enough and felt it didn’t have just a student only vibe there, like I guess some cities have.

The comment about Birmingham made me chuckle. Some people really are clueless.

I really don’t talk about DD’s options in RL anymore, and less on MN now since causing a poster (not you guys) to comment about the alleged eliteness of international applications. I’m sure people look at us and think we think we are special; having to be different, question why UK unis are not good enough for DD. None of that is true, it’s always been about looking beyond because originally there were was limitations on her language mix, that’s driven the search. Scotland (St Andrew’s & Edinburgh) did tick the boxes, but the recent years of places being cut, geography etc meant it was less attractive/high risk to take UCAS slots. My brother went to Leeds, highly rated it, even if for some reason over the years it’s fallen out of fashion. And if she ends up studying locally, then great, even if her research took her full circle.

I think I may subconsciously have a part to play in DD’s outward view on study due to my immigrant background, and how my parents arrived in England. Life is so much tougher for this generation that I would like her, if possible to try and lead a balanced academic yet enjoyable UG life (as we all do), wherever that may be.

This is such a challenging time for DC, they are bound to be feeling pressure, acting out more than usual - I wish you all as parents lots of patience, and counting to 10. Many times. And when you blow, a caring member of the household takes up the mantle for a bit.

@Fferny1 thank you. DS has an EHCP (he has autism, dyspraxia and language impairment), which sets out his access arrangements with no need to apply through the normal channel, he has extra time and a scribe - he'd never be able to write for 2 or 3 hours especially not legibly. All his diagnostic assessments took place while he was still at primary school so may not be recent enough for DSA but he does have PIP which was assessed in the last couple of years and various sources have told me that I will probably just need to get a standard letter from the GP to support the diagnoses (he is on the learning difficulties register there).

DD, in y11, was diagnosed with dyslexia in yr 5 and nothing since, but she has extra time in exams (first assessed last year as she took one GCSE in y10). The SENCO will be providing her Form 8 and student passport for college but I am pretty sure she will have to have another assessment either before A levels or before uni. I think it would be a good idea anyway as she has some traits of ADHD and possibly autism.

Ah shimy, think you are on to something there.

York may be viewed as parochial perhaps...

Definitely @alwaysplayspiccolo.
It doesn't help that his 18th is in late July so he's young in his year, so a triple whammy🤦🏼‍♀️
They do say don't they that the ADHD brain takes longer to mature, going on into the early 30s. I keep on receiving interesting emails from Additude re. the latest info. & Research.

I live in the South just outside London but have never found anyone to be snobby about unis in RL. But it is a town with very good, non-selective state comps so maybe less pressured in general to go to the “right” school or uni?

I’m never convinced it matters too much where you go, it’s the norm to just go to your nearest uni where I grew up.

St Andrew's is obviously fabulous but it amuses me how much MN lauds it. Generally, in Scotland, kids stay more local too and regard especially Glasgow and Edinburgh as superior to St Andrews!

DS has two mocks back now with an A* for sociology. He has realised though that his teacher has only taught them theories (explains why they got through the units so quickly) and that he lacks evidence and data... bit of work to do there.

Does he study the same board as you teach Piggy? Reassuring that his understanding in theory is very robust, great mark, even.if there is work now to plug gaps.

No , but the data and evidence is what I am good at. Theory ... meh.

Ah, the right gaps for you to step in then at least!

Maths OCR is our nemesis. No chance of any help from DH or me on that one 😱

@Oblomov22 ds1 and ds3 really don't like each other. Ds2 isn't much better. But the oldest and youngest are worst. Poor ds1 comes home from university and ds3 will say "what is HE doing home?" Followed by "we don't want you here, when are you leaving?" It's terrible. I know he's been nasty to ds3 to make him feel like that, but it must be awful to come home to brothers that hate you.

No snobbery around here with schools/universities. All the dc's feed into the same secondary. I expect it's different for those in private school. They are all a fair treck away. Most of ds1's friends didn't go on to uni. though one went to Cambridge and the other to a smaller university in Norwich (Ds at UEA also in Norwich) Most of Ds2's friends are going though. I'd not heard of RG or "proper" universities until I joined online forums/Facebook. I'm sure they wouldn't approve of UEA or Sussex.

I have had a few comments from people about Ds2 wanting to study history with philosophy though. They frown and ask where it will lead him and whether he wants to be a teacher. So people obviously think it's not a good subject.

I moved out of home because of my brother returning from uni. We now have a practical but aloof, long distance relationship but he remains void of any emotional connection. But is strangely fond of DD because she does seem to have a skill of softening him.

But, there are also so many families I see now who had turbulent sibling relationships when younger, to be best of friends now. It’s lovely to see.

I maintain the line of trying not to judge or assume; we really don’t know what happens behind closed doors.

Hope the sibling tension simmers down for all experiencing tension; it can’t be easy to parent with everything else to worry about.

Ignore Ican. We all know your DS2 is very shrewd (if not a tad challenging in his communication style with you) and highly likely to do very well in life!

Good Evening. Been following your conversations with interest. I think it’s incredibly rude to denigrate other peoples children, or their choices. I’m from the generation where this became more common and people began to be very competitive in their parenting, such a shame. I think I was always more likely to downplay any successes, apart from anything else,we are now on number 5and I wouldn’t want them to think that the most academically successful, or the highest earners are more valued.And I ve seen enough of life to be painfully aware that good unis and high wages aren’t fast passes to happiness, it really is so much more important for children to grow up knowing they are loved and valued for themselves, and encourage them to be independent and able to make and sustain relationships. Not of course, that it’s an either or, and my most conventionally successful child is also the happiest, I think. But looking at a 7 year old and thinking Oxbridge doesn’t strike me as healthy.

@ealingwestmum yes, thanks. I definitely think Ds2 will be the most successful of my 3 ds's.

Those parents must be rather insecure deep down to think it's okay to denigrate other parents and teens on their school/ Uni choices. Pride comes before a fall comes to mind.

@Fferny1 would your DS be able to have a scribe? Brilliant news on his Oxford Brookes offer. Eek to hormones, plenty of those in our household too with me in Peri and DD to boot.

Your son got an awesome grade Piggy. You must be super proud.

@icanbewhatiwant my whole family (my mum, me, my 4 siblings, my husband, my brother in law and one sister in law) did history degrees of one kind or another and we’ve all got decent jobs! History is a great degree.

@crazycrofter out of interest, would you mind saying what the jobs are? DS has applied for 4 x history but the job prospects are a concern, he doesn't want to teach or work in any sort of business type field.

@ExtremelyDelighted: a good mate of mine is a history degree and phd: now a high up civil servant - of the no birthday cake variety - having worked in archiving and knowledge management/business librarianship after graduation :-)

Amused by these stories of sibling fallouts: my two tolerant each other, but are not super close. I'm always in awe of siblings who really get on (although I adore my younger sister: but as 1 of my 3 siblings, it's still a low hit rate ;-)

@ExtremelyDelighted our case studies may not be of much use then if he’s not keen on teaching or business! We have a teacher (secondary history), a teacher (primary) turned church minister, two more church ministers (!), two tax accountants, an archivist, a counter-terrorism expert for the UN and a charity consultant.

Re siblings my two used to wind eachother up, but became really good friends during lock-down in 2020. DS1 came to respect DS2 through the fitness stuff. They are very different characters, but both want to be doctors, both do work-outs 5 times a week, both sing and both have GF's called Megan!

I saw this posted on WIWIKAU - Thought I would share - got to admit it hit a nerve, might have had something in my eye and a lump in my throat as I read it....

You can feel like you are losing them during the teenage years, even though they're right there in front of you.
One day, you are laughing and getting along, the next you feel like you are sitting with a stranger you don't know in the least.
They might be unrecognizable, growing six inches in a span of six months.
They might have changed personalities, from sweet and loving to salty and stoic.
They might have changed their interests, their focus, their dreams.
You lose them to their phones. You lose them to their rooms. You lose them to their friends, their activities, their jobs.
You may feel desperate to cling to the child you once knew, the one who adored you, the one you got along with, the one whose hand you thought you'd hold forever.
You may feel like crying from their constant rejection. You may feel lost when you can't get them back on track. You may feel insignificant when they ignore you or lash out.
You will grow impatient with the status of your relationship. You will feel frustrated with the push and pull. You will grieve what is no longer there.
You will pull back. You will say less. You will watch from afar.
You will take whatever interaction you can get even if it is always on their terms.
You will pick and choose your battles because you are tired of so many battles.
You will try to stay available even though they are mostly unavailable.
And then one day when you least expect it, you will feel something shift.
You’ll see glimpses of the person they are becoming, and you begin to look forward to seeing what they will do with their life.
You start to learn about their new interests, their new passions, their new sense of self.
You will begin building a new relationship, one where you are no longer their sun. Your job is to be their moon, connected by a force so strong that it will never break. You will follow them along, providing light in their darkest moments, direction when needed. Sometimes your presence is large and looming, and sometimes it is small, barely seen by the naked eye. But you will always be there.
It won't be perfect. It won't be what it was.
But if you can survive losing your teen for a little bit, what happens when they come back to you can be even more beautifull.
❤ Written by Whitney Fleming Writes

Ah that's lovely Heifer. It's so hard isn't it, the balancing act of being the parent of teens.

Also - how did your DS get on at his audition?

Thanks for the history careers info Crazy and Isthis. We have no history graduates in our families and friendship circles, the only ones I know are teachers. As DS says no to teaching and no to working in an office I'm not sure where that would leave him, although if it's the actual presence in an office he'd probably be largely wfh anyway now. Need to talk to him a bit more. Careers quizzes come out inconclusive because he says no to so many things.