Corona Cohort: Statements Scripted, Grades Predicted

[Monkey2001]

This is a thread for supporting all young people post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting. It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, please don't within this thread. Please also be sensitive when responding to threads about grades.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue.

From OrangeCinnamonCocktail:

Our DS/DD may go down various paths (such as employment, apprenticeships, higher ed) We have decided for anyone interested they will most likely find us within the Further Ed board.

Previous thread - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/further_education/4339233-Thread-19-Corona-Cohort-Enrolling-on-Year-13-hopefully-NOT-unlucky-for-some?pg=1

DS1 adamantly did not want a party for his 18th. For his 19th we were in Cornwall with his GF and he wanted a steam train ride and a posh meal (he is not middle aged in general behaviour!).

DS2 doesn't drink, his idea of a great party would be to have a gym session with some mates followed by pizza and lots of protein food. If he could achieve a personal best, that would crown it!

@icanbewhatiwant re: Ds1 snap! he doesn’t seem bothered by it either. Next yr will be 21st and I’m hoping he does something. It seems his industrial placement agrees with him very much socially, even more than normal uni and he’s been going to arranged office dos/get togethers and quite enjoying himself.

@Shimy ds1 will definitely do something for his 21st as he will be in his university house still and coming to the end of their degrees. So I'm sure they'll find time for a party.

@icanbewhatiwant

Part of the problem for ds1 is that he is August born, so everyone is always on holiday when it's his birthday. So thinking about it, his placement would've ended, and uni wouldn't have yet resumed..so probably he'll spend the day in bed, unless we all step in and plan something.

There may well be some who do socialise but DS doesn't have mates he goes out with (he's not weird, honest!). He will always say that the ones who do that tend to live in the actual town which isn't in catchment or not have stayed on to do A Levels. A whole 6 week summer holiday just went by without seeing any mates.

Sociologists will tell you this is now the new nuclear family where family units are the central small unit. It's definitely not true in my school where the teens party way too hard. Different demographic and bigger towns.

I did consult a few other parents of DCs at my DS's school and they all said the same : no one goes out, no parties!

I don't know if this is where we live, lack of public transport, less affluent parents, no pubs - but it's definitely the case (village is getting bigger and I think it might be changing). I was worried when DS1 went off to uni that he would be a fish out of water but he soon adapted. Two of his friends did find it all overwhelming though and dropped out (they went to different unis a year later). DS1 comes back in the holds and sees home mates maybe twice and is back by 11! This, I must stress, is absolutely nothing like my teenage years!

DS's 18th in April will probably involve GPs coming up, a small glass of champers, some lovely cake and party food.

Has anyone actually submitted their UCAS forms yet? I don't know if ds2 has but will find out tomorrow.

Looking at the thread, one does ponder whether it's gender!

Ds2 only saw mates once all summer. I suggested meeting up...he asked what was the point when he could message them 🤷‍♀️

Maybe it’s a city/country thing then? Did you worry about your kids not seeing anyone all summer? I would - but then I also worry when they’re out too much! Ds is obsessed with ‘being out’ but as he’s only 15 this involves hours at the gym/playing football with mates and the occasional trip to the cinema/Nando’s/laser quest etc. And riding the buses for fun?!

Mine hardly see friends outside school (maybe once a week for a few hours at the most in the holidays) but they do a lot of sport so they are out and having social contact in other ways. They both have SENs and go to private schools with huge distances between families so still need lifts (we're fairly rural with minimal public transport). A lot of my friends DCs locally are similar though even though they are at closer schools and don't have SENs the catchments are huge so friends might be a good few miles away. A few are party animals though.

@crazycrofter yes...we are countryside. Growing up my oldest 2 needed lifts to get anywhere. We have moved since, still in the same village but nearer the centre and the playing field. So they occasionally meet people at the playing field. But those they meet need dropping off. There are only 2 other dc's that are ds2's age in the village. None ds1's age (of course he can drive now so not a problem) ds3 is 12, there are 4 his age in the village his age. None he are particular friends. Our village is full of retired people. I can't imagine them wanting to go out all the time. But it would be great if they did.

"And riding the buses for fun?!" That has really made my day.

We aren't countryside but just outside the M25, where you still need parents to pick and drop unless you drive which neither dc does yet.

I guess that’s the key - public transport. Ds makes good use of his £25 a month bus pass which takes him all over the West Midlands, except Coventry I think. I sometimes ring him and he’s in a random part of the city, miles away, with his friends, for no apparent reason other than there was a bus going there?!

We are in a small town close to a city and it's party central here - well I never hear the details, but DS has been going out at least twice a week since before the summer holidays. Not always a party tbf, sometimes they go to the pub, sometimes loads of the Y13s get together in a field or at the beach. Probably 80% of the school live within walking distance so it's very doable. It was something we wanted for them - I was a boarder and didn't have any friends at all where I lived, holidays were so boring and miserable.

I must say though that until recently DS never met up with his friends in the real world or had anyone over. Whereas DD is 15 and her gang are always out and about, in and out of each other's houses.

If you need a laugh DS doesn't do parties, hasn't been to an 18th yet but is going to a 30th on Saturday.

I think it stems back to xbox/PS in their early teens so that is socialising to them & then covid hit just as they would be heading for nights out independently. Like a PP's DS mine socialises outside school mainly through sport.

@Shimy - UCAS submitted 5 minutes ago!

Lots of parties here but DS won't go. I blame all those years of swimming when he didn't get the chance and now he doesn't want to. Friends v widely spaced - Catholic state school with massive catchment down to Leeds and up the dale, as they say in these parts!

@crazycrofter no buses here. Well...there is a bus four times a day. It goes to a town that is 35 mins drive but takes over 2 hours to get there as it covers lots of villages. One is 6.30am and the other about 9am. They both return later in the day. So only really suitable for going to work or a whole day shopping. Train station about 2.5 miles away. But we are in east anglia, so we can get into London but not anywhere much else. Ds has been on the train to Norwich with mates though. But needed dropping and collecting from the station. But he can now drive. So only one more dc for me to drive about.

DD sometimes rather whistfully says that she has never been invited to a party since starting secondary. I don't know what it is because she has friends and gets on with people, just never in with the 'popular people' as she calls them.

Mine socialises a lot online as well and occasionally after school theres a trip to the chicken shop. In the hols there was a couple of trips shopping/bowling/arcades/footie in the park but no sign of anything more partyish.

She does meet up with a single friend and/or a small group occasionally. We are edge of London, so a fair amount of transport available, but as a private school friends are fairly widely spread. It's often easier and certainly quicker for me to give lifts. I also worry that she may be even more left out due to late summer birthday as she won't be able to go to pubs/clubs until school has finished!

Oh Seeline that is so sad. Not the not being in with the popular gang...so over-rated. But the social navigation for young people is so much more complex these days, I am often glad I am not their age even though I feel more fossil-like by the day.

I hated parties at that age. So awkward, and full of try hards. I still don’t celebrate my own, don’t want the attention on me but happy to celebrate others.

I know - personally I don't think she's missing out on much, but I do feel like going into school and telling everyone how lovely she is and it's their loss if they don't want to mix 😁

@estherfrewen ooh how exciting! now starts the waiting game....Good Luck!