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Further education

You'll find discussions about A Levels and universities on our Further Education forum.

Class of '18 now in 2019. blimey.

949 replies

OhYouBadBadKitten · 14/01/2019 10:53

hang on....

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OhYouBadBadKitten · 06/02/2019 21:59

yay Ursula!

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UrsulaPandress · 06/02/2019 22:17

I was banned!!!

Called someone a liar on a lost dog thread.

Must add the doghouse to my list of topics to avoid.

UrsulaPandress · 06/02/2019 22:19

Any road. Sorry to hear of all the troubled times folk have been having.

marmiteloversunite · 06/02/2019 22:27

Hi Ursula! Welcome back!! Grin

marmiteloversunite · 06/02/2019 22:27

I didn't even know that you could get banned! Those dog threads can get vicious at times!

UrsulaPandress · 06/02/2019 22:30

Woof.

HesMyLobster · 06/02/2019 23:10

Ahh welcome back Ursula!
I wouldn't have expected the doghouse to be the place for controversy, but I suppose anywhere on mn can end up getting nasty.
I just live in a little bubble where this lovely thread and a couple of other long running ones are the only places I pop into these days so forget what the rest can be like!

DD is definitely feeling a lot better - I just sent her a message to say goodnight and she replied that she's on her way out clubbing. Not up to drinking yet though.

I can't believe it's 5 weeks since she went back - this is the longest I've ever gone without seeing her and still 2 weeks to go until I visit.

She and her sister are meeting in London this weekend for a concert and DD2 is counting down the hours now.
I'm so tempted to tag along but don't want to cramp their style.

MsAwesomeDragon · 07/02/2019 07:53

Wow Ursula. Welcome back. Now stay out of the doghouse!

LoniceraJaponica · 07/02/2019 08:21

Some of the dog threads can get a little heated. The "extreme" dog lovers aren't able to understand that not everyone loves dogs.

On another note DD's offer holder's day went well. She was nervous about not being able to remember anything and that she would decide she didn't like the course after all. In the end she made a friend and enjoyed the lab session. She was extremely lucky because the session was about ECGs and she had been on a medical imaging taster day at Leeds university about 18 months ago. She was the only one who knew any of the answers.

marmiteloversunite · 07/02/2019 08:52

Really glad it went well Lonicera What a relief that she liked it.

I never write on the dog threads. If you dare to have bought a puppy rather than re-home and it is a crossbreed you are the lowest of the low!

OhYouBadBadKitten · 07/02/2019 09:38

That's really good Lonicera :) I'm glad she had a good day.

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LoniceraJaponica · 07/02/2019 11:45

Thank you both. I hope you're feeling well marmite, and that your DD is feeling in better spirits Kitten.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 07/02/2019 13:03

She is thanks Lonicera and we see her this weekend. Lovely!
I've just had a message asking if I can bring her favourite conditioner as she can't find it in stock in her town.

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UrsulaPandress · 07/02/2019 13:36

I must have missed you saying your DD was struggling OYBBK. Bet you are excited about the weekend. Do you stay over?

I popped over to see DD on Tuesday with bits she had left at home. Most important was something to clean her shower curtain with as she claimed it could not be removed. When I got there I pointed out that it simply clips onto the plastic rings and could easily be taken down. At which point I tripped over her large feet in her small en suite.

She is still struggling with one of her flatmates who has MH problems but refuses to discuss with her parents or anyone in authority, preferring to download to DD. She even ended up sleeping with DD the other night as she was feeling low. Not realising this I sent DD a text the next evening to tell her that a lady who used to keep her horse with ours had hanged herself. So sad.

The girl is sharing the house next year and DD is worrying now that they will never be able to leave her alone. She is not massively social so tends not to go out with the 'gang'. I've told DD to encourage her to seek help. Not sure what more can be done.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 07/02/2019 13:42

I am going to stay over :) I can't wait!
I think she's been having confidence issues. She got her report from last term and it said nice things, so she's happier now.

How difficult for your dd. No matter how hard it is for the poor lass, there's only so much flatmates can do. If she's very worried she could contact the girls personal tutor if she has one.

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UrsulaPandress · 07/02/2019 14:25

I don’t think they have them. I may have said this before but I have been seriously shocked at the total absence of pastoral care. Thank goodness that DD hit the ground running, made good friends and is always happy to share her concerns with me.

There is a third year in her Halls but his raison d’etre seems to be bollocking them for noisy prees.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 07/02/2019 14:44

That is really shocking Ursula. I had a personal tutor umpteen years ago and a bog standard university.
does googling pastoral support and the university not give any results?

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UrsulaPandress · 07/02/2019 16:28

A quick google says that student support services are available but you have to ask. The same with the support in the residences.

When I started at University many many moons ago I think the only option was for catered halls in the first year. But each floor had a third year who got everyone together on the first day, showed us where everything was, took us to the canteen for our first evening meal and then to the bar, and again we all met up to go for breakfast for the next day. I think that support could have gone on indefinitely but everyone hived off into their own social groups. We also had a personal tutor who we met with as a small group once a week. He insisted on pronouncing my name incorrectly for the three years I was there, and told me I would make a good policewoman. Looking back he was most probably right!

Speaking to friends with offspring at a variety of different establishments they all seem to have something similar in place so that you are not completely alone on your first night.

Seems DDs University is the exception.

LoniceraJaponica · 07/02/2019 16:37

Are you able to say which university it is Ursula? I hope it isn't where DD wants to go.

UrsulaPandress · 07/02/2019 17:00

It's Liverpool. I have a friend with a DD at John Moores and the pastoral support there has been great.

I see in the news today that the number of foreign students is on the increase, largely because of the weak pound. The majority of the Far Eastern students live together in separate halls at Liverpool and don't appear to integrate at all.

I keep asking DD if she feels a 'part' of the University and she says yes but as she doesn't seem to get involved in anything University based, other than lectures I can't see how. She is however very happy, loves her new friendship groups and is having a blast.

starfleet · 07/02/2019 17:49

There is a post on that FB page. News of another student comitting suicide. Every time I read about something like this, or hear about a missing student my stomach churns. I almost always ring DS straightaway to check in.

I can't even begin to imagine what the parents of these kids must go through.

DS and I had a chat last night when I drove him back (he was home for the day) and he said he and his flatmates always check up on each other. They know when others are going go be away/home and they never leave anyone out on their own at night.

LoniceraJaponica · 07/02/2019 18:03

I saw that. There is nothing on the news about it yet. I wonder which university it is.

Feelings are running high in DD's boyfriend's flat. Last term they were all friends. Some of them made the mistake of sleeping with girls in the same block of flats, and this has caused awkwardness. But it was choosing which people to share with next year that has caused divisiveness and friction. I guess this is inevitable when you have 10 people sharing because you don't usually find flats for 10 outside of students halls.

Nettleskeins · 07/02/2019 22:05

lonicera one of my friend's sons was in a flat with 17 at Warwick, and they split into two halves for second year flats. Might that be an option for the next year, 2 flats for 5 with 2 new people in each flat perhaps?

Ds1 has finally picked second year accommodation, the exact opposite of what I suggested, but he has found 6 other people for a seven person halls flat, none of whom he is sharing with atm, so hopefully they will all find a new life together!!! next year I mean...
The other good thing is that it is a university owned hall so if someone is deeply unhappy with the social group or discovers my ds's housekeeping flaws they can easily bail out, as it is easy to find new tenants, uni guarantees it. Ds said he wanted to be nearer clubs and shops and further from campus, and that he loved walking so much that early morning walks didn't bother him but walking back late at night did Shock Luckily there are 6 people who appear to share his views.

Ursula your dd is so kind to support her friend, but you probably should remind her that it is not her responsibility to be worrying about the MH of her flatmate, and could be positively dangerous to take on that responsibility when she cannot give professional advice, know what best course of action is. GP, counselling, someone else should be alerted, or she should walk the friend to someone who can take note of this..and insist on someone else knowing how bad friend feels, who isn't a first year student. I can remember seeking advice from my peers in a difficult uni situation, not depression incidentally, and I so wish that I had thought to ask older wiser people rather than my kind friends, really with no experience how my peers were qualified to help me I do not know. But it is a trap we often fall into, even as 50 year olds.

Ds1 seems alright atm, fingers crossed.. Dd is having a few year 12 wobbles, and I've decided to start picking her up half way home, as possibly resilience is overrated and I cannot help her with her actual A levels, so maybe the driving will have to give. Ds2 also in Year 12, is now onto the classic 5 hours sleep, "cos I have to stay up all night to finish my class presentation which is due in and then get up at 7.30", which makes me very stressed, I practically forced him into his pj when he came home, although he said he wasn't in the slightest bit tired this afternoon. Ds1 blood curdling descriptions of late night essay crises and staggering to lectures on two hours sleep has made me hyper sensitive to it all, I just cannot bear any of them getting stressed and exhausted. However, ds2 doesn't seem to mind being tired, it doesn't worry him. He may be the perfect student in waiting.

LoniceraJaponica · 07/02/2019 22:21

You have a lot on your plate Nettles. I doubt that I could cope with the stress of having multiple children going through the exam factory.

marmiteloversunite · 08/02/2019 07:35

LAST CHEMO TODAY!! Yay !!!

Please have a gin/wine/cup of tea on me tonight!! GinWineBrewGrin