Year 12 #1 - GCSEs are sooo last year!

[bpisok]

New thread to see us through to Christmas?

Ooooo. I remember her. She was ever so funny. Wasn't she the one who thought we were all over-invested because we actually cared, whereas she had dozens of children who had all done marvellously whilst being allowed to hang out on street corners and do drugs because she had a life away from her children and was casually dropping in to tell us that we were doing it all wrong!

@KingscoteStaff - I feel like our destinies are entwined. Both DS1 and DD could so easily have ended up at the same schools as your two.

As it is I get the feeling that we're destined to met on the rugby or cricket pitch sometime soon - if by some miracle DS1 makes a meteoric rise to the 1st XV or XI!

I am an old poster on this thread but not been around for a while and have name changed for this. Have posted in another topic as well but wondered if all you lovely people may have some advice for me. You are all very kind and very informed. Have posted my message from other topic below.

DS has been off sick and has missed 2 to 3 weeks of lessons due to depression and anxiety. He is on the mend and slowly the meds are working. We are planning on transitioning him back to school. He is in first year of A levels. He has missed so much work and is quite anxious about going to school.

This post is more about practical tips and experiences of people who have managed to successfully get their DC back into school. What worked? Challenge is for DS to get back into some normality of a routine but also keep up with work and eventually catch up with Work missed. Would welcome any insights and tips that others can give.

Returning to school - I assume you will have ascertained which board he is doing for each subject. Print off the syllabus from online. Ask the school what parts je has missed. Buy revision guides and ask for any notes, handouts etc that have been given out or reading homeworks. Ask a more able student if they are prepared to share notes or marked essays etc.

Make good use of the Christmas holiday if he feels up to it to do some catch up then and over half term and Easter. It is still early enough to catch up if he is able to (mental healthwise)

Sandy / Kingscote Am I likely to watch any of your off-spring feed into the Academy at the Stoop one day? I have a feeling they may be at feeder schools.

@returningtoschool - I'd second @ShalomJackie -advice about getting notes /essays off an able student. Might be worth asking for his teachers help with this to minimise the stress for your DS. I know my DS1 wouldn't be keen to ask other students even if he were feeling 100%.

Might the school be able to offer some 1-2-1 sessions for him when he's back? Even 15/30 min sessions might be enough to make sure he's ok. So many subjects build week-on-week and he'll want to make sure he's got solid foundations.

@Stickerrocks - not my DS. He's an enthusiastic amateur but you're right, some of his classmates are / have progressed in that way from his school.

returningtoschool
I would recommend a phased return, where he aims to attend incrementally more lessons each week.
E.g. Week 1: go into school afternoons only

His first aim should be to work up to being in school and coping with the school day.

Then in the Christmas holidays he can look at catching up with missed work.

Thank you all for that advice. That is reassuring. I know the focus needs to be on DS just being able to cope with the school day and build up. Not sure how much he will be able to do over Christmas as we had planned travel away over that break - well before we knew all this would happen. There is a worry that he won't understand some of the new topics if he has missed the old topics. I can't teach him any of this as it is beyond me. School is good mostly in terms of signposting missed work but rather than working through text books independently he will need some time for somebody to explain some topics to him. Maybe we will end up getting a tutor next term.

It's just so worrying as feels like this year is unforgiving - with exams and predicted grades looming at the end of this year. I just hope there will be enough time. Ofcourse his mental health is number one priority and we need to be able to be flexible that he just may not do so well this year. Maybe get up to speed over 2 years take a gap year and then apply to university.

My eldest son didn't do very well in his AS levels at the end of year 12 and decided by himself to repeat year 12. Is that possibly an option too?

returning it is still another 18 months before they actually sit the exams but if next summer he's still feeling like he's behind could he possibly re-take year 12 either at current school or elsewhere? I know it might not be want he wants but it could be an option and just knowing that might relieve some of the pressure now......just thinking about his mental health.

shalom snap!

Would definitely recommend a gap year. DD2 had a complex time at school (long story) and decided to defer her offers and take a break. Best thing she ever did as it was her first real break for a long time. She faced a lot of what did you do on your gap year questions but I think it’s now recognised that some people benefit from a rest and a break and time to just be rather than rushing on to the next thing and you don’t need to be saving or changing the world. Has now gone to uni rested and more relaxed than for a long time and also fully prepared - for some dc the time between results and actually going is very short and overwhelming particularly if your involved in clearing or other uncertainties.
If your ds manages to successfully get back into school life it would also ease the load next year and take out some of the thinking time if he applied post results. Focus now should be tho as thesecond says just easing back into school.

I too was just about to say a three year sixth form is also becoming more common

Just may view but also however hard it is try not to put too much pressure or importance on whether he is coping. There are different routes to take. Whilst a lot of schools and parents (myself included) try and do all they can to help dc cope, DD2 was helped most in sixth form when her school made her realise it was ok not to be coping and it was the first place where she didn’t feel judged. This was a big factor in her recovery

Not to suggest for a minute that you are !!

Sorry for the ramble again

Thank you. Don't really know about how we would go about repeating a year. I guess that is a possibility. DS is at a high achieving independent school and I don't get the impression that they have too many kids retaking a year so I guess we would look at a different school. Gap year would definitely be an option. Would we defer the offers or just not apply at all until the year after.

I have even considered homeschooling but it scares me to death as I don't know the first thing about homeschooling especially at a level standard. It would also mean I would have to stop working. Although Am considering taking redundancy anyway early next year as company going through transformation. It's just been a shit few months.

Oratory - definitely I am sure we put pressure unknowingly as it is painful to see DS life take such a tangent from where he was. Emotionally it is hard.

Oratory - not rambling at all. Your experience gives comfort and that there can be a positive outcome even if the route is different than originally thought.

Can do either - apply next year and defer offers or wait and apply in the next round and there are definite pluses and minuses of both options so can decide depending on your situation next year

returning my godson had a horrible Year 12, with health problems and bereavements. He took the summer term off and then restarted Year 12 at one of the London 6th form Colleges

Absolutely I completely get that (quite a lot of us have been there) and our first reaction is to keep them on the planned path as I think historically, particularly in the schools they are in, most follow that path or you didn’t get to hear about those that didn’t !! Now a bit older and wiser and with two older dd s we realise there are many different paths to take.

I think we also need to remember the difference between intelligence and exam results - presumably by getting into a competitive school and his gcse results he will have proved his intelligence and work ethic. That doesn’t suddenly disappear because he is ill and may be doesn’t take or do so well in a set of exams - he will always have that. DD realised if she could recover and get to the next stage she would still have that inate ability even if not the a level certificates to match. Does that make sense

It does. Thank you. There is a lot of letting go of the vision we had. It's funny how life turns in such a short timeframe. You are right his intelligence and ability will always be there whatever happens. And I have no
Doubt he will create a happy future for himself with support from us but via a slightly different winding country road.

I think that our generation only really had the option of lower & upper 6th, whereas now a 3 year 6th form is far more common place. My niece did it after poor AS results and a friend's DD did the same after a terrible family tragedy finally caught up with her. I would echo what others have said about easing in gently. There is no harm in taking a scenic route.

Sandy I suggest he looks up the name Alex Dombrandt to see how an enthusiastic amateur can mature! I was at university with a certain Rob Howley & used to get very frustrated when he would abandon our group projects on Wednesday afternoons for the odd rugby match. Little did I realise...