Year 12 #1 - GCSEs are sooo last year!

[bpisok]

New thread to see us through to Christmas?

Stickerrocks not to mention that to get straight 9s, more than anything, they needed to put in an awful lot of hard work.

Loose that genuinely is a red letter day! He must be growing up...

Ok so attainment 8 is this correct

Maths - 8 = 16
Eng La -9 = 18
RS = 9
Eng Lit = 8
Physics = 8
Chemistry = 8
Music = 8
Biology = 7
(ignore 9th subject French (6)

Total = 82?

I had a less happy first this week: an email from school saying DS2 had done so badly in an end of topic test that he had to resit (and the teacher is telling me so that I might encourage him to revise).
Its the first time I've ever had that sorry if email. I remember DS preparing for the exam and it didn't seem like he did much though as I recall be said it was going to be "easy".
I'm concerned and irritated all at once with DS, particularly as he knew he'd have to resit for a few days before I got the email bit he hasn't even attempted to do some work for it He just kept referencing how he doesn't like the subject
Anyway, it looks like my few months holiday from GCSEs has ended prematurely. My plan is to make DS2 crystal clear today that doing badly will not ever be accepted unless he tried his best.

Yes as you know from the other thread whistl we too had a phone call this week to say Ds has failed his trial in Set 4 English & is going back down to bottom set.

He was also sent home due to being totally exhausted/unresponsive so much so he wS slurring his words. It appears this has happened before. Dr is sending him for blood tests to rule out diabetes but thinks it’s chronic lack of sleep. Melatonin was mentioned.

Alexander that doesn't sound good. Will they also test him for other things? Dd was a bit like that last March. With her it was low B12, iron and vitamin d.

I've just calculated her progress 8 as 72. As whistl said though GCSEs seem irrelevant now. She has her first termly exams this week. And she's revising! With no not much nagging

It's been a bad week for her old school. Their Ofsted was published and they went from requires improvement to inadequate.

They particularly criticised the maths dept. And lack of ambition / focus on progress. All the things I'd been noticing in the last couple of years.

I hadn't realised that out of a year group of 155 only 4 got 9s in maths and only 11 got 7 or above. I'm not sure how that compares to national averages.

Anyway I'm glad she's out of there. She still can't believe the quality of teaching at her college now. And she's loving further maths because it's the first time she's really had to think.

I don't think the 4 with 9s is unusual Kick, there will be a lot of schools with no 9s. But the 11 with 7 and above sounds low. Another DD who has done well in spite of the circumstances. I do think its good that it seems more common for people to move at sixth form now so DC can find something that suits them better or can manage a longer journey to a better school at 16

Kick - he’s never slept well. The Dr said (& we already knew) that it’s common in children with an asd or ADD. She is referring to CAMHS & also ask them to investigate whether there is something like adhd going on as it’s often goes alongside autism.

Sorry to hear you have other worries AH. Sounds like he has been doing a lot of rehearsals and shows as well - could he be genuinely exhausted too. DS spent a lot of year 9 being ill and exhausted to the extent he missed a fair chunk of school and spent a lot of each holiday in bed and was tested for everything. I think in the end it was just a combination of long running nasty virus, busy school life, coping with the extra demands of dyslexia and memory issues along side growth spurt and changing hormones etc. I can imagine if you added adhd and lack of sleep into that lot it would wear you down. Hope you get something that helps. I have heard people say melatonin has been helpful as evenjust getting a good nights sleep can make coping with the other stuff easier.

He has been tired with the shows but onnthe whole he hasn’t been going to bed that much later than usual.

DS2 has always slept less than everyone else in the family. Possibly related to ASD and/or ADHD. As younger child he used to sleep for

AH does he have trouble getting to sleep, staying asleep or is it that the sleep is low quality?

Ds1 has delayed sleep phase disorder (he doesn't produce enough melatonin and hasn't since he was little). I read up on it when he was diagnosed aged 10. It seems that the problems get to critical levels in the teens because the amount of melatonin produced dips anyway.

We tried him on taking synthetic melatonin (had a friend post it from the US where it can be bought in their supermarkets, unlike here where a prescription is needed). That sort of worked but looking back I think it just took the stress away.

What worked in the end was a simple eye mask and a cool bedroom, plus a regular bedtime. If Ds was allowed to stay up late even once, it would take him 2 or 3 weeks to get back into the routine of being able to go to sleep at a reasonable hour.

The whole blue screen stuff that is much talked of these days seemed to make no difference.

I think what works for one, doesn't for the next. So, its about trying everything out and finding out what works for you.

I don't think we have fully cracked it. Ds still struggles more than most with being excessively tired until about 10 am but it is manageable.

Personally, i wouldn't wait for a doctor to start making suggestions. You could try the blue screen, regular (but reasonable - not hugely early!) bedtime, darkened room and eye mask now. Either you will see a huge difference in about two weeks or none of those are the solution.

He has trouble getting to sleep. Bedtimes have always been earlier in our house than his peers (I know this to be true as I have his devices overnight and see all the messages pinging through). Dd needs early nights so she always went to bed at 9.30pm but ds was more 10-10.30pm. That has recently extended to 11pm but he lies awake until 1am ish.

Electronics are handed in at 10pm but I go into him in the morning and find all the Lego out or books/music scores.

I do try and keep his room as cool as possible as he hates being hot and I’ve changed his duvet. He slept best over the summer when we allowed him to sleep outside in the garden in a tent. He reckoned he went to sleep around midnight then.

It sounds similar to what DS experienced with DSPS. The eye mask was the turning point and I only introduced it because even the tiniest chink of light was enough to keep him awake.

The very first night that DS wore an eye mask, he went to sleep easily. He told me that when he was lying there for hours, he'd feel frustrated and bored, so he'd think to pass the time. Then what he was thinking about was keeping his brain active.
Also, he'd open his eyes and look around the room which was also keeping him too stimulated to get sleepy. The eye mask sorted that out too, because although you can open your eyes, it's more comfortable to have them closed and if you do open then, you can't see anything anyway.
It was all enough to break the cycle and after a few nights sleep, DS stopped worrying about being over tired the next day. That resulted in his stress levels lowering. Which in turn helped him get to sleep more easily.
Then, I think there was some sort if pavlovien training happening because now the eye mask going on makes him go into sleep mode.

After all the expensive, high-tech and chemical solutions, it was the simplest one that worked most effectively.

I think we got to the eye mask solution about 3 or 4 years ago, but before that there was a couple of years of trying melatonin and the other standard solutions. It's worth a shot. Especially as it only costs about £2 (or less if you have a free plane kit around!)

I know he turns his light on (it’s a dimmer switch one) so it’s a case of will he keep an eye mask on especially with his sensory issues but it’s worth a try.

I saw this thing called Dodow advertised a few days ago. It sounds promising as a sleep aid, but I haven't had a chance to read reviews etc, so it could be just another useless gadget! It might be worth considering though

Can I take that last post back?! The Dodow is for relieving anxiety. It actually adds blue light to the room. It will probably annoy the life out of someone with DSPD rather than help them get to sleep!

Alexamder DD (who’s 13 and has ASD) has taken melatonin for over a couple of years now. Her problem was getting to sleep. I hadn’t heard of the delayed sleep phase disorder that whistl talks about, but I think that may be what DD has! DD’s doctor at CAMHS says it’s very common that those on the spectrum don’t produce enough melatonin.

The melatonin has made a fantastic difference. DD still has a fairly long wind down routine for bedtime but now once the light is finally off she’s just about always asleep within 30 minutes. It was well over an hour before.

TheFirst your DS getting 6-7 hour’s sleep has made me wonder what is ‘usual’ for teens of this age. My DS gets about 8 hours - on a school night he turns off the light about 10.30pm and gets up at 6.45.

Dd has always gone to bed around 9.30pm & probably got to sleep around 10-10.30pm but she had to get up at 6.00am.

Ds goes to bed at 11am, gets to sleep around 12.30-1.30am & has to be woken at 7.00am.

DS was sometimes not getting to sleep until 11:30 or even after midnight, even though he went to bed at 9:30. This was when he was 10.
His trouble was getting to sleep, not staying asleep.
At the heart of it, he doesn't produce enough melatonin. Your brain produces imelatonib when it starts to get dark and that's the problem with the blue lights from TV, laptops, phones, iPad etc -they all emit blue light which is the colour of natural daylight . Melatonin is what makes you sleepy.
It was a struggle, tbh. First finding solutions and then adjusting so that there are no exceptions to interrupt DS's sleep patterns. We had to make sure day trips,
get togethers with (or adult) friends etc all ended at a reasonable time or else DS would pay for it for 2 or 3 weeks with not being able to get back into his routine and feeling excessively tired each morning.
Its not solved now, just managed.
In a year or two, DS will have a nightlife and I don't know what will happen, but he's old enough now to make his own choices.

Wow - the sleep conversations are really interesting in bpisok world. It's nearly 3am and DD has just gone to bed. She has been up since 8, done some school work, went running, had lunch, did 3.5 hours of martial arts and we have been chatting and watching rubbish Tv. She is off to help at a martial arts grading at 10.30 until 6pm and then to my parents for dinner for 7.30. Maybe home at 11 ish?
....on average she sleeps a MAX of 6 hours (often 5) I thought it would change when she started primary school but it was the same (I honestly tried everything to Get her to sleep - black out blind, night lights, masks, aromatherapy oils, bed time reading, nighttime routines, baths .....you name it, I tried it)

I am a rubbish parent since I gave up years ago!!!

bpisok your DD hasn't been getting enough sleep according to doctors, but if it's not adversely effecting her, then in your shoes, I'd give up too.

AH's son was slurring his words through tiredness and DS1 was miserable in the mornings as a child / preteen as if he'd just been hauled out of bed at 2am.

We have no choice but to keep going to find a solution. However, your DD is doing well academically and has enough energy to be active all day so maybe it's best that you let sleeping dogs lie? If you do find her secret though, please tell me what it is. I could definitely do with some of that for myself!

The amount of sleep people need really varies - my BiL was the baby who didn't sleep apparently and can still do a huge amount on only a few hours without adverse effect. DH is the opposite and so is DS2. I need sleep but don't sleep well so sympathise hugely with struggling dcs.
Whistl DS definitely seems more grown-up - maybe it's the tea drinking! On the other hand he is planning to buy a Christmas jumper today, so perhaps he's not that mature...

Hello my old Mumsnet chums - can someone remind me of the name of that Science online programme that you did a few minutes a day of questions? I think DD2 would benefit from it.
Delighted to see so many familiar names and I cannot tell you the sheer joy of having to do it all again with DD2 - very different beasts my two daughters and what suited one will not suit the other at all and they are doing different boards too.
Thanks for your help.

Tassomai?