Year 12 #1 - GCSEs are sooo last year!

[bpisok]

New thread to see us through to Christmas?

(That's the 18 year old, not the 16 year old, who is nowhere near being developmently ready to be in a relationship).

The only outdoor sport DD plays is tennis!

Yeah, we had the talk too. And I also took him to our local sexual health clinic, because I have a lack of knowledge at this topic. He told me he don't want to have sex before he finished uni, because no contraception is 100% safe and he don't want to risk anything.

One of DS1’s friends did Camp America before starting university. He met a lovely Mexican girl while there. He now lives and works in Mexico with her and their 18 month old son. He didn’t go to uni, he’s still only 20...

This happened to my brother and his very new girlfriend who he met in freshers week.

My lovely nephew is currently doing an MA having got a first from Manchester last year. My brother and his girlfriend both finished their degrees with a LOT of support (mainly from her family).

Both nephew and my dd are gay so not much chance of a shock pregnancy in the next generation.

runs and hides this bit of the thread! Frightening to think how teenage passion could derail a young person's future.

Can’t see DD having a relationship any time soon, during our talk yesterday the subject of autism came up.

To cut a long story short, DD was referred to PCAMHS. Counsellor has separately been in touch with me to raise autism as a possible diagnosis. I’ve been in turmoil how or whether to raise this with DD as only a possible diagnosis as didn’t want to make things worse by suggesting it. Our talk was going well so I raised it, DD was receptive and admitted that she had the same thoughts and had been researching it (she knew more than me!)

Been busy doing more research, and glad we have it out in the open. I felt happier about her academic progress, but now autism has come up, back to square one on the worry front. She was not receptive to me contacting College about this at all, she completely flipped with this suggestion so need to back off on this for now.

Twin I would let her process it in her own way & advise her to speak to Student Support herself when she is ready to. In my career I still have students who know they have dyslexia etc but make the conscious decision to battle on by themselves until it suddenly clicks that asking for support is not admitting defeat or special treatment, but levelling the playing field. Sometimes they will have fought their way through 6, 11 or 13 professional exams, as well as a degree and A levels before the penny finally drops. Provide your DD with the information, but try (I know!) to let her handle it, giving her the support she needs in the background. You're doing a fantastic job by keeping those communication lines open and maintaining her trust.

DS has recently got a girlfriend. They met at a linguistics competition so she doesn't live near us. She is also 18 and in her first year of uni. So the 2 times they have actually seen each other have involved overnight stays (once there and once here- separate bedrooms) but I find the whole thing fairly terrifying! DS has said that they have decided not to have sex yet as it's still a fairly new relationship. I didn't expect to be having these conversations with DS yet as he has not shown any interest in girls until now (but then I am realising that I don't really know what is going on with him). Any advice gratefully received!

Twinplus DS is the same about his possible bipolar diagnosis. He doesn't want the school to know. The GP is encouraging him to tell them, but is making it clear that at the moment it is DS's decision.

Thanks stickerrocks finding it hard anyway to back off and not interfere with regards to College. I’m trying hard on the communication and trust front, I’ve had to bend the truth along the way which I feel mixed about doing.

Thanks abitofastate someone up thread talked about conversations in car so a) they can’t away and b) no eye contact - would this approach work?

DS2's ASD diagnosis was given directly to him, on the same day as the assessment.

He went through a brief stage of denial, then embraced it as a positive part of his identity for several years, and is now going through a stage of believing it's irrelevant.

When we need to discuss something with him, he reacts best if we give him the information we have, then give him time to process it at his own pace. Then he comes back to us with his response.

Conversation in Costa worked well for me yesterday but obviously a lot of scope for your DS to escape. For us it worked as it was neutral, low key and cake was involved

Yes, providing food is often helpful.

I guess knowledge is power when it comes to autism / aspergers - knowing that you are on that spectrum and understanding how this relates to your responses and how you tick.

Sorry to hear of some of you worrying about how your dc are engaging with their subjects. It is early days and the main thing is that they are attending all lessons and completing homework. Hopefully if they get sub par test results this will strengthen their resolve to knuckle down.

My dd is doing well I think (based on college interim assessments and my own observations) but she is doing subjects that she loves and which play to her strengths.

I've had a very trying few days. My beloved flatcoat retriever has haemorrhagic gastroenteritis and nearly died - he is stable now and at a specialist veterinary hospital. The vet seems to think he may have an underlying condition such as Addisons - they should get test results tomorrow. He's only 4. I am spending a lot of time in tears

Get well soon to Limit's dog.

My DS has a girlfriend now too who lives about 30 minutes away and is at a different 6th Form. So we have had a couple of over nighters - different rooms too. Funnily enough though she stayed here first but her Mum only asked about sleeping arrangements when DS went to stay there so I assume if she had said they were in the same room here her Mum would have allowed it there!

Again a conversation at the right time led to a "No we don't need to use contraception yet. Yes when I do I will make sure I do!"

Get well soon Limits dog 🐕

Shalom - good luck with coping with this stage with your DS

Alex how did DS's show go?

Poor Limit's retriever.

Car chats usually work here as DD can't escape. I find our best downloads take place in Costa or Wagamama though. I think they can cope with professionals telling them a diagnosis, but sharing that information with other people who can support them is tricky, because they are attaching a label to themself. Not only are they are naturally afraid that it will have an impact on other people's perceptions of them, but saying the words out loud to a stranger makes it very real.

I do hope your dog makes a full recovery Limit.

It went well thank you. Unfortunately my ear infection seems to have got worse and I was in a lot of pain overnight.

Dd has caught the train back and ds is now at Band Call for another show!

Hope your dog recovers soon Limit and that if there is an underlying condition it isn’t too serious. I love flat coats.

Alex sympathies, ear infections are the pits. Are you on ABs? Hope it clears up soon.

Twin sounds like a positive conversation with your DD. Give her time to process it all and she may well feel more positive towards sharing the info with college.

to all who are struggling a bit at the moment. This parenting lark isn’t easy is it?

I’ve got a spray called Otomize. If I’m no better by the morning I’m going back to the Dr’s.

And dh starts his phased return to work tomorrow!

@AlexanderHamilton - I hope your ear feels better soon, earache is miserable. Big hug to @LimitIsUp Ddog.

So DS1 is having a 'useful' day. Homework done. Volunteering for D of E done. Now doing his Headstart application. 200 word personal statement required. He's actually taken my advice and is writing rather than thinking too much. He's just applying for the summer courses at Kent and Manchester as they were the only ones he fancied.

Alex I have used Otomize in the past and it has helped. But you may need oral antibs. Hope you feel better soon.

Last time I had it 5 years ago I had huge oral ABs. But I was completely out if it for several days. Basically I’d been to the dr who said there was no infection and sent me away and I then ended up at the out of hours on the Saturday after being up every 2 hours in the night.

This time at least I’ve been given the spray straight away.