Class of '18 Best foot forward through the autumn leaves.

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

old thread was getting big....

Ursula I'm with you in not missing dd1 that much when she's not here. I don't even get all the contact you get, DD won't ever phone and only texts when there's a problem. She was barely involved in family life when she was here but did ask for lifts to activities fairly regularly. So her leaving has been just one fewer thing on the to do list, which has been very welcome. I feel like such a bad mother when I say that though, I'm expected to miss her and I just don't. She's having a fantastic time, she's not making a mess in my house, she's enjoying her independence, it's the right thing for her. Maybe it's because I've still got much younger dd2 who is still in primary school and takes up so much of my time and energy. Maybe I'm just hard hearted . Maybe it's because I remember leaving home at 18 and having a whale of a time and never sparing a thought for my family back home so I think she should be enjoying the same thing, which she is.

I don’t even have another child as an excuse. But considering I missed the horse more than her when she first went (although everyone thought I was joking) I clearly have form.

My iPad and phone chargers stay were they are put. Happy sigh.

dd doesn't do the phone and it's too far for her to visit us term time.

It will be nice to have the playstation back though!

I hear from DS with a morning message which says (and I quote) "morning". If he's having a good day I might get an amusing cat video later on. If something goes wrong I get to hear every single detail while he flails and as soon as he's got it all back together - silence. This leaves me wondering whether he's actually ok or whether he's still dealing with whatever it is he considers a crisis. Fortunately there are fewer crises now than in the early weeks.

I am planning a mid week visit on a day where he doesn't have much scheduled to go do tourist stuff, it looks like the opening is one day every two weeks. Then I looked on the calendar, there are no prizes for guessing which day my mother has her birthday on.

Take her with you.

Kill two birds ...

DD tells me that the BF's flatmates are now facing the reality of having partied all through the first term. The work is ramping up, one of the girls wants to leave and go to another university, one student has upset another, a different one is really depressed, and the others are fed up.

I think the novelty of leaving home has worn off, and having spent three weeks at home over Christmas some of them are feeling a little homesick, with the exception of the BF who couldn't wait to get away from his family (which I find rather sad).

Does your DD not phone you OYBBK?

she messages, but she doesn't like phone calls.

Mine doesn't like phone calls either kitten. That's with everyone, not just me. She doesn't message either, although she is getting better at messaging back if I start the conversation.

When DS1 first went I phoned him once a week, but I got the feeling it was making him more homesick, so I stopped.

I send him a message on WhatsApp every couple of days, mostly general encouragement or occasionally a meme or satirical article that I know will make him smile.

He messages me (WhatsApp or Snapchat) a couple of times a week to share little things about his day (e.g. that he got a good grade; that he did something positive to look after his health; that he won a pub quiz and got a free pizza).

Ursula Mum took a swan dive last year and as a result her walking is not very good. She used to be able to walk for miles but suddenly her world has become very small. She's been once to Unicity and despite me getting the closest possible hotel to the venue it was too far. I struggle to be both carer and mum at the same time and I don't think it's fair on DS because we have to plan things around what mum can do/likes to do which feels limiting.

Did I say that one flatmate came back after Christmas, packed up and moved out (taking the shared frying pan with him, which would have been fine if he was the one that had brought it). DS has taken my spare frying pan back and is being hailed as the saviour of the flat. I'm not sure what it is that they are all frying, I didn't ask. They started term as vegetarians so the usual bacon/sausage/egg combo does not apply.

(Is it nearly time for a new thread for the new term? I can fill this one up with the latest news from the wormery, they are slacking off with it being cold and I'm having to put tea bags into the bin. Oh the horror)

I’m afraid I would not have let the frying pan theft go by without considerable outrage.

There was considerable outrage but by the time the loss was discovered he'd gone, together with the frying pan. It did mean that I priced new frying pans, it's been decades since I needed to buy one and once I''d seen the price of a good one (and got over the shock) I regretted offering DS the spare. There are many things he's taken with him that I wouldn't mind losing but the frying pan is not one of them.

Dd took my ‘best’ frying pan which belonged to a Great Aunt who has been dead for over 20 years. I only let her take it as I now have my departed Dad’s frying pan which is a thing if beauty. But if someone took it I’d be angry. Very very angry.

I have four frying pans (now three). The workhorses are two big copper bottomed jobs, one with a lid. Two cast iron ones that my mother passed to me, one that's a bit small for anything and the other that will fry two eggs. The cast iron ones are utterly non stick, I fried an egg in one tonight and the clean up was non-existent. The youngest pan is twenty years old, the oldest could be sixty or more.

60? Impressive. The one dd has is probably at least 40. Quality lasts eh.

We have a cheese grater that is 51 - it is, alas, on its last legs but I cant bear to get rid of it as the 'modern' ones just don't seem to be as good. We also have a big pan that is 55 years old. My DM uses it most weekends to cook the rice for our family dinner.

I wouldn't be pleased about the frying pan either. Didn't they draw up an inventory with who had contributed each item for the shared kitchen?

Was thinking that a new thread for 2019 is due soon.
The Autumn leaves have well and truly fallen now and there are very few to slip on whilst out walking ddog.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/further_education/3478916-Class-of-18-now-in-2019-blimey

phew! thanks for the heads up

A close relative (Not a parent) elderly, died on Saturday. So feeling a bit shellshocked by that and trying very much to think how important future happiness is, to counterbalance.

I have a wonderful 35 year old cast iron frying pan. No rivets is I think the secret to eternity! (dishwashers cannot corrode thee) If only it had been a bit bigger, but it is 35 years too late to invest in a bigger verson.

family life is a bit of a muddle this morning but I had a long chat with my mum this morning which is always a good thing; we both cried a lot which is also quite a tonic, I find

now to raise ds1 from his bed. I'll say this for him, at least every day he has gone for a very long walk outside. that has carried over from university at least.

Hugs to you Nettles.

My friend’s mum is slowly dying and her MIL died last week. Whenever she pops round we just sit and randomly sob about stuff. She came last week and we had a good wail, then I woke up the next day to the news that Dianne Oxberry had died (famous in the NW) so more crying. It is therapeutic.

Sorry about your loss Nettles

Sorry for your loss nettles