Class of '18 still nattering.

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

forgot the old link hang on a mo...

Third that must be worrying for you. I think there's so much going on that it must be hard for them to accept they need to do self care stuff.

In the 70's my friend and I used to go in the public toilets and neck a bottle of cinzano bianco for me and martini Rosso for her before going into a nightclub and drinking Coca Cola. Classy.

DD is not sleeping. Weird as it was never a problem at home. Consequently missed a lecture this morning as she does not feel well. Apparently all the lectures are available on line.

Face full of spots. Presume it's the change in living conditions.

I think the drinking in freshers'week has always been a problem. Seemingly too much money (until the reality kicks in), too few 'social' controls (little risk of anything getting back to home family and friends), no old friends to take care of them or suggest they have had enough.

Not too much of a problem if they get it out of their system in a couple of weeks. Much more of a problem if it goes on.

Third there isn't anything you can do if his mind is made up at this point. However, later on, when he isn't dealing with quite so many "new"things, people places ideas,at least he knows there is the option of going back and asking about it. You could reassure him that it is not now or never. Hopefully he WON'T need any specialist intervention. Some kids change as they grow older and need less generic help of the sort that is offered by mentoring and counselling, although they may need it at a later date in some situations. My second was being offered support packages at Sixth Form Colleges through virtue of his ASD that he absolutely didn't need and would have been wildly inappropriate for his skill set. Thank goodness he is staying at his school for sixth form. There is such a lot of heavy handedness that puts our children off any admission of "otherness", they just want to be like everyone else and fit in.
Ds1 has absolutely refused to countenance any help, and I haven't pushed it. I know what he can do and what he isn't good at, but help which was on offer before and he didn't take up (this is at school - he rejected most help there too) isn't really going to cut it now, unless he sees a VERY bright light. The extra time is the only thing I think ds is going to regret not asking for, but I just cannot at this stage make him do anything he doesn't feel he needs. But at the back of his mind, there will be the memory that I have suggested something and maybe later he will retrieve it.

A friend whose son started again after mental health difficulties at first uni, said in the second uni, the big package was not nearly as useful as being in the right uni for him (nearer home, different course, some friends from home to support him) and in fact the (think grey haired old lady) mentoring was less useful than some simple things like travelling abroad and getting a local job to increase his confidence. But I know that is just anecdotal.

the manky mattresses are gone dance of joy
the garden is full of beautiful pink hued things and rusty oranges, and I've just stood on a stepladder and picked several bunches of grapes. Ds2 went to a big Arsenal match last night with his friend came back v late (being dropped off) and had to be reminded that "he is doing A levels" things are getting a bit too laid back here. The cat was even asleep on his desk.

Ds seems happy and has found his people - sporty, non -drinkers. Three people in his flat don't cook so kitchen is between 5 at the moment. Timetable is quite relaxed and certainly nowhere near as intense as the in, although ds seems unaware that self study will be required. I am having fun gallavanting around Europe - currently in Lithuania - but back to UK on Tuesday.

Nettles you describe an autumnal paradise. Was very cheered up driving through countyside to work this morning with Autumn mist floating about ,burnt orange leaves hanging and a very low beaming sun. Bit of nature soothes me.

Third- when your DS settles he may appreciate help. It's so much to take in at first, they don't know what the need help in. I was allowed to talk to support services at my son's uni to get him help required but it was a slow process. I was really tense for about 5 months - things went well eventually.

I think the issue of support is a tricky one...trying to let them fly and find their own feet when you know a bit of help would make things easier. DS is supposed to be having mentoring via DSA but to be honest I wasn't sure how he was meant to access/organise it so I didn't do any planning in advance or give him instructions. So far I don't think he has spoken to support services since he's been there, but seems to be coping okay at the moment. Despite me worrying, he seems to be mixing more than he has ever done before and seems to have gone to all the things he should have so far, which is honestly more than I hoped for. It's almost as if he made a conscious decision to just do it...that's the impression I got when we dropped him off anyway. Early days though...

Thank you all, I've said to him that he can always approach them for support at a later date if he finds that he's struggling.

I've learned that if I send a photo of the cat on Snapchat, he usually replies...

If you miss more than 2 sessions with DS2's mentor you have to pay! But each session is only booked in at the last one so hopefully your DS will be OK, TheThird.

LIZS until this year 'note-takers' were funded by DSA. That's now stopped and unis are encouraged to offer lecture capture instead. So they're expected to watch the lecture again at home, pausing it so they can take notes at their own speed.

But what DS2 needs is a human prodding him (and any others requiring such help ) to make him concentrate and get on with his work. That's too expensive. It was funded throughout his last 15 years of education but not for HE. The mentor is a more generic sort of help, not subject specific, more helping them organise themselves, giving them strategies for self-help. Which if it works will be useful, but I have my doubts.

Frustrating Ellen, what I will say is that in my experience our DC cope better than we imagine and adapt to their independent situations. So he may self help. We found a student buddy which we set up via dept. Worked really well year 1. Just someone to ask questions about the work.

I hope so, violets. To be perfectly honest, I don't really care if he passes well or not, so long as he can get on to the next year of the course. A job is going to be a real challenge for DS2 and I just want to postpone him having to get one or try to qualify for any benefits for as long as possible. If he gets some qualifications in the meantime that's a bonus. Hopefully in another year or two he'll have matured a bit beyond only working when encouraged.

He's not able to leave home to study and look after himself so the HNC at our local college is the best option.

It's a different world with SN and DS2 is unfortunate to be pretty borderline. Not able enough to be independent and too able to qualify for much in the way of support to live independently. I'll just have to live forever! He's easy to be around, quite happy with his computer and quiz shows.

@ShanghaiDiva

Glad to hear your DS has settled in well at Warwick.

DD has also settled in amazingly well, she bonded straight away with her flat mates, has joined the gym and did yoga and tennis today and has also joined some 'random' societies!

Her course starts officially on Monday so hoping she'll enjoy the learning aspect of university and not just the socialising.

The BF's party flat are getting drunk again tonight , as they did last night, and the night before, and will tomorrow and Saturday.

How do they afford it?

I'm worried for DD when she goes to university because her course will be virtually full time, plus extra study. I do hope she will get to do some partying as well when she goes.

Don't worry. I studied medicine, had at least three choral commitments each week and still managed to fit in plenty of partying.

They can afford to get drunk every night because it's the beginning of term and they still have money. Budgeting is another one of those learning experiences that they have in front of them.

I hope DD won't be the boring party pooper because she will have had a year out in the real world before going to university. I have always encouraged her to be independent (she isn't as independent as she should be BTW), but this week has been quite a learning curve for her with several achievements.

She has gone to a job fair on her own, had three job interviews, plus an interview for a volunteering position, and even telephoned a couple of places looking for work. I am so proud of her. She wouldn't have done this even 6 months ago. Oh, and today she even had lunch on her own in Yo Sushi!

She's doing so well Lonicera!

dd doesn't really drink, but there seems to be plenty of not drinking opportunities.

Tears about leaving her beloved cat behind so I've tasked her with looking for strays and adopting them.

Thethird DD is under the CFS team, so her problem will be staying awake just to do her course and go out a couple of times a week. I'm not sure that she will have the time or energy to do any extra curricular activities.

Totally empathise with that. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's when I was at university, and sometimes had to take a half-day just to sleep.

The months leading up to diagnosis in my fourth year were particularly bad; I had given up choir at this point and was having difficulty doing full days of clinical placements.

I'm thankful that DD decided not to give medicine another try. I can't believe how little the history students seem to do. In Scotland term is in full swing now, yet the history students seem to have a couple of lectures a week and a handful of seminars, with very little self study.

When we toured Newcastlt university the post grad student guide told us that there was quite a bit of rivalry between the BA and BSc students. The scientists think the humanities/arts students are dossers. And I imagine the BA students think the BSc students are up their own.

Glad to hear that shanghai
loni
Dd has a friend doing medicine and he partied a lot in London during first year

Sorry for posting at this late hour I’ve had a phone call from dd. She was at a flat party but left early as a girl had mentioned to her about how her halls didn’t fit the uni vibe and they didn’t seem like pleasant people. Anyway to cut a long story short dd had a message from a boy saying her housemates were egging him on to try drugs and apparently he’s close to dropping out because he can’t cope. It seems dd isn’t the only one who is noticing their behaviour and dd feels settled to know this.
Hopefully she can get a move

Is your dds boyfriend studying history Lonicera?