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Further education

You'll find discussions about A Levels and universities on our Further Education forum.

Original poster

Year 12 - first half term DONE.

999 replies

OhYouBadBadKitten · 19/10/2016 13:25

new thread so we don't get lost. Well done to all our dc whether doing btech (or breach as autocorrect prefers to call it) or a levels. 1/6 of the way through this year. (blimey)

OP posts:
FantasyAndHope · 08/01/2017 22:32

work
It's clear your struggling what about making a list of pros and cons with your husband? And take it from there? Hugs

Dd has crammed all her work into tonight left it till last minute

Workmovingdilemma · 09/01/2017 00:34

We might manage fine but if I can't manage without him to help with DCs care their health could suffer which is my one big worry.

I don't work due to DCs care needs. We don't need the money but of course it would be nice, I don't know if it's worth the disruption to DC and most certainly isn't worth it if their health suffers.

I am struggling with this, swinging from one side to the other and back again.

Fantasy we had already made a list, it takes into account we would have to move after A levels.

  • significantly higher salary
  • better benefit package
  • less likely to be called in when on call
  • we could move so we are near some family members
  • we could move so he has a shorter commute than he currently does
  • we could move closer to a hospital- we spend lots of time there.
  • DH not being around during the week for just over a year/ ? Ability to cope
  • moving away from some other family members
  • changing schools
  • changing DCs hospital
  • more time on call but as I said above less likely to be called in
  • moving DC when they've had a difficult time the past few years

There's also another massive negative for me but it would give my NC away if I were to post it here.

FantasyAndHope · 09/01/2017 10:18

working

It seems like you think it would be better off for him not to take the job? That's merely an observation. I could be wrong.
It may just need some time to truly think about what it is you want for your family now and in the future? Also factor in how your DH feels. It seems as though your most worried about your DC with additional needs which must be making it harder for you. I myself have exhausted all my thoughts of thinking for you, so cannot imagine what it must be like to be the one choosing the offer or not.
Whatever you choose, know we're all here and I'm sure you'll make an excellent one that fits your family.

birdlover1977 · 09/01/2017 12:26

Hello all. Can I join please? I have a daughter in year 12. She is doing 3 A-Levels: Chemistry, Biology and Psychology. She is finding the jump up from GCSE much harder than she expected, especially in Chemistry. I can't help at all as I know nothing about the sciences, I studied humanities subjects.

HesMyLobster · 09/01/2017 17:05

Welcome Birdlover,
Your dd is definitely not alone - I think the step up has been huge for all of them, and from what I hear the sciences, especially chem, are the hardest.
My dd isn't doing any science subjects but a lot of her friends are struggling with them.

Dilemma I was in a very similar position this time last year. DH took the job and has been away mon-fri (and sometimes weekends too) for nearly a year now.
It was the right decision for him, and therefore for us, but it hasn't been easy.
Initially I found it difficult to manage working full time without an extra pair of hands around - I always thought he didn't do a lot around the house, but it turns out that having to do the few jobs that used to be 'his' (putting bins out, walking dog, sharing of taxiing dds to clubs) made much more of an impact than I expected.
He had always been away maybe 1 or 2 nights a week most weeks, so I was used to him not always being around to help, but the relentlessness of all week every week really started to get me down after a few months of it.
I now have a cleaner which has eased the strain, so I'd say if you can put anything in place to reduce extra practical work for you (respite of some kind for your Sen dc?) it could make a big difference.
The other problem of course is just generally missing dh. FaceTime etc are brilliant and we joke we probably talk more when he's away than when he's home, but it's obviously not the same as being physically together.
I'm very lucky that I have a strong support network of very close friends and family, so haven't felt lonely exactly, but not sure how I'd have managed if I was more isolated, so that's something to consider.
A years contract has turned into 18 months - 2 years, so we've got to continue for a bit longer. On the plus side I love having the remote and the bed to myself!

FantasyAndHope · 09/01/2017 19:29

Welcome bird sometimes dd wishes she had done sciences as she's taking all humanities and it's a lot of essay writing and researching

Original poster
OhYouBadBadKitten · 09/01/2017 21:04

Welcome Bird :) it is a huge jump up. Apart from the challenge, is she enjoying them? How is her maths?

OP posts:
derektheladyhamster · 09/01/2017 21:26

We had a presentation about the whole UCAS and higher level apprenticeships, open mornings are not at all convenient when I work in a school! So I've discovered that the penryn campus (part of Exeter uni near Falmouth) have a mini open day in half term.I've just spent nearly £400 on flights, car hire and airbnb accommodation for 2 nights! Still DS2 is on a ski trip that week, and that'll have to be our holiday for the year 😁

Original poster
OhYouBadBadKitten · 09/01/2017 21:31

Ouch! exciting holiday Derek!

OP posts:
HesMyLobster · 10/01/2017 22:38

Dd has booked her first open day! Shock

It's in March on a week day so no chance of me going with/taking her. She assures me she'll manage fine on the train by herself.
She has never been on a train or bus alone in her life!!
So we're going to do a recce/practise run together in half term.

I can't quite believe it's happening so soon!

raspberryrippleicecream · 10/01/2017 23:34

DD has made a list, which I haven't yet seen. Apparently it won't be needed as she will have failed all her mocks

ShanghaiDiva · 11/01/2017 09:35

Welcome Bird Lover - agree there is a big jump from gcse to A level. Ds is taking the IB, not A levels but his higher level subjects are chemistry, biology and maths and he said a lot of students were struggling in chemistry.

Lobster - where's the open day?

I can clearly remember going to open days - but actually it was over 30 years ago! Ds won't be going to any, so hope he gets a good idea from internet info. He has never lived in the UK so this will be quite a challenge for him.

Workmovingdilemma · 11/01/2017 13:54

Thank you everyone for sharing your thoughts and experiences, we decided DH working away for over a year would be too big a challenge for both of us so DH turned down the offer. Hes we already get direct payments that we use for help with DCs' treatment regimes and even though I don't work we have a cleaner Blush.

MsAwesomeDragon · 11/01/2017 18:40

work I'm glad you've come to a decision, and it sounds like you both agreed it was best for your family.

Raspberry I don't believe your dd will have failed all her mocks, but we all have wobbles when we do exams don't we? I hope she shows you her list of universities soon.

We haven't got any plans yet for uni open days, or if "we" have then I haven't been included in the planning.

raspberryrippleicecream · 11/01/2017 20:25

MsAwesome I don't believe it either, especially as she hasn't done most of them yet!

Apparently Durham has been discarded as being too close. St Andrews and Exeter are both on it, we already intend doing Exeter next September. But as she also wants bright lights, I doubt St Andrews is a goer really.

What did your DD decide about her job? I meant to respond to your long Christmas post and time moved on a bit. Has she found out who else is going, she should know at least one person.

FantasyAndHope · 11/01/2017 20:50

rasp
She won't have failed dd goes through this where she feels like she's failing I'm not she If it's just the stress of alevels

Original poster
OhYouBadBadKitten · 11/01/2017 21:56

dd is waiting to book on to open days. Raspberry, what is Durham like? it might be on dds list but it's like a million miles from here and will require a major expedition.

OP posts:
raspberryrippleicecream · 11/01/2017 22:16

It's an hour and a half away from us, which gives you an idea of DDs determination to get away! She did also say she wasn't sure about the course there. So not much help really, sorry.

DS1 went to an Open Day and decided it wasn't for him, he didn't like the vibe. So it is probably worth the trip if it's a realistic contender.

Do book onto open days in good time for Durham, they get filled up.

Original poster
OhYouBadBadKitten · 11/01/2017 22:38

oh cripes. Thanks!

OP posts:
TheDrsDocMartens · 12/01/2017 07:16

Durham on the list here too.
Also St Andrews and Edinburgh although I'm not sure she'd like a big city (fairly easy on train from here though! ).
Big refusal to go too far south from here and as we are pretty north it's going to be fun!

Icouldbeknitting · 12/01/2017 09:28

I doubt DS has a list, advance planning not being one of his key strengths (yet). I have pointed out that if he does want to audition for conservatoire then he has an early timetable and he needs to be going to open days in the spring. That's spring of 2017 not 2018.

I might as well talk to the wall.

NoHaudinMaWheest · 12/01/2017 13:51

Dd is in the middle of mocks. She hasn't done much revision for history (she says) and expects to suffer for it. She always considers anything less than a A a failure though so I expect she will be disappointed.

She has made a list of universities but as she wants to do an unusual combination of subjects she doesn't have much choice and they are all 5+ hrs travel away. No open days open for booking yet.

working glad you have made a decision. It is tough with additional needs in the mix. Don't blush about having a cleaner. I do too though I don't work outside the home but I have two dcs with additional needs and am disabled myself.

Workmovingdilemma · 12/01/2017 14:41

Thanks No, I always feel I need to justify it but without outsourcing what we can the house would be upside down.

Perfectionist tendencies are familiar here too. I bet your DD has done better than she thinks though.

TheDrsDocMartens · 12/01/2017 16:31

Anyone know about the MA offered instead of BA at undergraduate?
Are the equivalent of a Masters or just in name only?

NoHaudinMaWheest · 12/01/2017 17:01

Is it an MA at a Scottish university DrDoc?
If it is then the MA is a first degree and roughly equivalent to a BA. However most Scottish degrees are 4 years so actually it isn't exactly the same as a BA.
Usually you do your main degree subject plus two others in the first two years and then concentrate on your main subject in the second two.