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Further education

You'll find discussions about A Levels and universities on our Further Education forum.

Original poster

New Year 12 starters parent support thread (snappy title eh?)

999 replies

OhYouBadBadKitten · 31/08/2016 19:19

here we are.

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Original poster
OhYouBadBadKitten · 08/10/2016 13:57

that's a great promotion need!

TheSecond, could you ask the Head to write a summary of the meeting, then see if it is how your ds remembers it? Going to the study centre isn't quite the break you were hoping for?

I think I might have said upthread already, but stem so far seems way easier in terms of workload than essay subjects, even with dds very long travel and enrichment stuff. I've never seen her so happy with school stuff. She's spending today doing her extra curricular stuff with a vim. No time even to watch Go 8 Bit at lunch time. Shock

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needastrongone · 08/10/2016 15:34

Thanks Shiney. Your poor DC, they must suffer, and it must be dreadful seeing your child self harm. And it's also hard to 'hide' your emotions without detracting from how you feel yourself. We can only equip them with ways to cope, or at least places to access help as needed.

Second. Is that a good thing re the study centre, or not the outcome you hoped? Can you gently prise further information from your DS in a relaxed moment?

That's brilliant your DD is happy and coping Kitten. I fully agree, the STEM guys have it easier. DS seems to be coping fine and have plenty of spare time. I think I also agree with Mermaid, it's probably best for them not to attempt too much alone, in case it has to be unpicked again. Pretty early days still II suppose.

I'll be keen for DS to do an EPQ. They also go General Studies at some point I think.

needastrongone · 08/10/2016 15:35

*easier in terms of workload I meant!

MsMermaid · 08/10/2016 16:02

Dd had her first sick day yesterday. She's been full of cold with an awful sir throat all week, but has been going in. Then yesterday she said "I just feel awful, but it's maths all day (maths in the morning, FM all afternoon), so that's easy to catch up on" Hmm. I'm not sure if agree with that for other kids, but dd just "gets" maths, so it's fine for her to miss a day, and I'm on hand to help if she needs it. She did email her teachers to ask for the homework, so she's busy doing that now.

FantasyAndHope · 08/10/2016 16:09

DD has had a sore throat and cold ms her voice is dipping in and out. But she's the type of kid that would go in even if she was really really sick plus sickness policy has changed at her school now.
DD is doing her English lit work she woke up at 11 and said her batterys feel recharged had a discussion about stress and managing it she assured me she's not stressed just getting used to the mark schemes of alevel and it's such a shock for her to deal with her current grades. I've told her B's at this stage are excellent and not to worry. She's eating and drinking which is normally the tell tale sign for DD if she's stressed as she won't eat much. If she continues to worry I may speak to school

Shineyshoes10 · 08/10/2016 20:23

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheSecondOfHerName · 08/10/2016 20:39

thesecond that is a big step for your DS2 to be able to communicate his needs

It is. I'm trying to take a step back and give him the chance to take more responsibility for his health, education and wellbeing, but it is not easy.

When he was ill he needed more parental input than most teenagers his age, so he is trying to catch up on missed independence and life skills, and we're going through a steep learning curve about how to parent a young adult.

needastrongone · 09/10/2016 08:29

I think it can be very difficult for any parent to step back sometimes, even when there have been no underlying concerns/illnesses etc. I guess it's one of the hardest but ultimately the best things we can do for them.

Won't mention DN, who is now studying near us, and is coming for Sunday lunch. I am expecting him to eat a lot of home cooked food.....!

FantasyAndHope · 09/10/2016 11:56

See DD is opposite she is so independent and Will try and do everything herself. I stopped going into the doctors with her From 16. Even when DD Was going though a bad time with eating/self harm she hated the fact I had to be involved. I think boarding school has made her independent and the fact she is a year older than peers

Original poster
OhYouBadBadKitten · 09/10/2016 21:29

one thing that I'm still appreciating is not having to wash or iron or nag about ironing school uniform. Its so nice not to have to do a weekend wash.
We were a bit startled when the gp practice nurse phoned asking to speak to dd a couple of days ago. Turns out she's overdue for an asthma review so it was conducted over the phone. That was a bit odd not to be involved.

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FantasyAndHope · 09/10/2016 22:18

OYBK
I envy you Grin luckily I didn't have to wash blazer as I took it to dry cleansers it's dry clean only. But I ironed everything else
She's gone back happy as anything but will be home Wednesday as she home for a medical appointment as she's due to up steroids for her arthritis as she ups in winter to combat pain

Original poster
OhYouBadBadKitten · 09/10/2016 22:32

what sort of arthritis does your dd have?

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FantasyAndHope · 10/10/2016 10:00

OYBK
It's JIA

Original poster
OhYouBadBadKitten · 10/10/2016 11:30

That's mean :( poor love.

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Shineyshoes10 · 10/10/2016 13:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
OhYouBadBadKitten · 10/10/2016 13:23

shiney, it was a bit Shock they suggested next time she's in, she does her peak flow. She's never in as her asthma is so well controlled and she's a pretty healthy soul.

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FantasyAndHope · 10/10/2016 18:14

shiney
I'm not sure as DD has being going in alone for over 2 years and doesn't really tell me what's she's on etc...
We have had another bad R.S lesson I've asked DD to swap because I can see this resulting in tears. He told them to learn a list of words for the next day when on that day sixth form had a complusory activity so no prep time so she had no time to fully prepare but felt she knew most of the words the next day he does a test none of the words are included, DD Was thrown admittedly she probably should be revising weekly but still to tell them to revise something different?Hmm she got the results back today he's given her an F on her school report, DD Was a bit annoyed she also attempted an essay question from the book he marked it came back at a D which DD said well how can I improve? Can you show me how to structure it? He said if I show you how to structure it I'm making an exams I do easy for you and then I won't know how well your doing. DD is pissed off and angry I've said swap but she said I love the stuff and subject he just isn't teaching me well! Head of academic replied to my email with a snotty reply that it's alevels and DD should learn to deal with it as it'll only get worse at university Shock I'm appalled

MsMermaid · 10/10/2016 19:20

Fantasy that is crap!! I don't know how you can deal with that. She seems like she's doing all the right things, asking for help on how to improve, etc but he seems to be blocking her.

I've just had a particularly unhelpful conversation with the National Insurance helpline about dds number. McDonald's have offered her a job, starting in a couple of weeks time, but they need her national insurance number or evidence that she has applied for a national insurance number. This is because she doesn't have a passport so is using her birth certificate as her ID. Apparently they don't/won't issue anything to say she has applied because it is a juvenile registration, it will take 45 working days because that's how long the backlog is.The man kept saying there are other ways to prove she can work here, but she's 16, so she doesn't have ID like adults have, and she hasn't got a passport because we've not been abroad since she was 5 so her passport has expired and you can't tell its her anyway. So McDonald's can't employ her without evidence she's eligible to work in the uk, which she can't get before they want her to start work. It's very annoying!!! We're currently applying for a sodding passport, but that will take more than 2 weeks to arrive as well (there is no way for us to get to the passport office in order to fast track it)

FantasyAndHope · 10/10/2016 19:33

ms
It is crap it's frustrating DD as he isn't co-operating and catering the lessons and listening more to the other girl who comes from a Canadian school where they do things differently an knows most of the stuff because she's done it in English literature by reading philosophy books in her classes. Trying to get through to DD that she should swap is hard

chocolateworshipper · 10/10/2016 19:36

kitten - I've just had the same thing with my DD - surgery phoned about her blood test results and wouldn't tell me anything!

My great news is that she got a Distinction on her first BTEC assignment Grin

MsMermaid · 10/10/2016 19:43

Swapping at this stage may not be possible either Fantasy. Any school I've ever been in would only allow swaps for the first 2 weeks, because they cover so much so fast at A-Level it's VERY difficult to catch up on 5 weeks worth of work on top of keeping up with the current work they are doing. I would be surprised if it was allowed. So making the best of RS and doing a lot of independent research about how to structure essays at A-level may be a better idea. So instead of researching the subject at the minute, spend that time researching how essays should be structured. It should be possible to find books and websites that can help with that.

MsMermaid · 10/10/2016 19:44

Well done Chocolate dd!

FantasyAndHope · 10/10/2016 19:56

They have internal exams in November which are mainly for the case of swapping so if you've done terrible then you know it's not for you. People are still swapping now ms they have up until December to swap after that there told no. This is partly because they have 4 and a half weeks off at Christmas so it's expected the catch up then and in regards to researching structure DD said it's proving difficult because it's a complete new alevel new style of questions and everything

needastrongone · 10/10/2016 20:07

That's SO fantastic Chocolate, well done to your DD.

Bloody hell, that's so frustrating Mermaid. They seem to go into a no mans land between 16 and 18 don't they? I guess the waiting for the passport is the only thing you can do?

I'm so sorry Fantasy. I might be wrong, but is she doing English? Definitely other essay based subjects that might give her the skills she's trying to gain? The teacher sounds very old school.

DS is trundling along. Chemistry is his least favourite of his subjects, but it was his 'last' choice anyway, if that makes sense. Makes him more sure he wants to study Maths or Physics, or possibly both!

He's also decided to do his D of E Gold with school rather than Explorers. This was suggested by him, so shows he's starting to gain some initiative and maturity, great.

Original poster
OhYouBadBadKitten · 10/10/2016 20:09

How frustrating re the ni number MsMermaid. .Utterly ridiculous that it should take that long.

Congrats to your dd Chocolate. Awesome result!

Fantasy could your dd ask the Canadian for the titles of the philosophy books?

Good luck for those doing the girls maths olympiad tomorrow. Remember it's supposed to be interesting and fun, not torture!

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