Fostering and attachment

[IGrace]

I have just started fostering a 10 year old girl who struggles to to attach to female care givers has anyone got any tips for this. This is our first placement.

Patience. Dont expect too much too early. Just let her get used to her new surroundings and new routine and dont expect too much back for quite a while. She will only start to invest when she feels safe and secure.

Ok thank you that is what I'm trying to do

Have you done any reading up on attachment?
I can recommend ‘ inside I’m hurting’
It’s designed for teachers but I found it really good at explaining and suggesting strategies.
When our fc came to us I found social stories and wondering out loud worked for us.
It does take a long time for the child to feel safe, I’m sure you’re doing as much as you can.
You will be led by the child and things will settle down but at their pace.
Good luck.

A lot of it is just being there over time. Day in, day out, meeting their needs, not allowing them to push you away (or manipulate you). The toughest thing in the world to keep providing that care and warmth while they push you away - but sadly no quick fixes, just sheer bloody minded 'being there' and proving over and over again that you are different from all the other adults who have let them down