Got a bad feeling...

[MrsBobDylan]

Our application to foster was going well. Finished training, early medical passed, most references back in, registration of interest submitted. Allowing myself measured excitement that in four months time we could become fcs.

SW emailed today because the fostering manager has asked her to "check in with you about a few things before we can allocate your full assessment."

Sounds ominous to me and I am really worried that something has come up. No skeletons in the closet and we have been really honest throughout the process.

I am usually really good with instinct and am feeling a bit sick that there is something which will stop us fostering.

What might it be?

Had a teams meeting with SW yesterday and she asked us extra questions that her manager wanted to check out.

Our middle child has ASD and goes to a special
school. Ironically he is the reason we are able to foster - if we didn't have a child with SN I would be working nearly full-time and be without the skills we have developed.

5 years ago Cahms wrote to SS to support our application for direct payments (with our blessing). It is this report which is clearly ticking a 'concern' box and which we have now had to address on multiple occasions.

This time SW didn't reference the report but seemed to be skirting around the issue of my son's SN.

SW said she was giving us a 'big, positive recommendation' to go through to the assessment stage but then said 'if you think of any other supporting examples of why you should foster do let me know.'

It feels like a) her manager is preparing to say no
b) even if they say yes now we will still be in line for a 'no' only after we've spend 14 weeks hoping.

I have wanted to foster for as long as I can remember. I had a tough childhood but have a loving supportive marriage, three well-balanced and happy children and lots of experience dealing with challenging behaviour and trauma.

Today I feel sad and defeated. We applied to foster 3 years ago and were turned down on the basis of that report and told to give it a year or two to reapply. Three years down the line and quite far into the process they are still wavering and it is becoming excruciating

stay positive. Your long term determination to see this through will be a big positive.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you. Fostering is an amazing thing to do, so if you aren’t successful, please remember what a truly wonderful person you are xx

Hi, just to reassure you I and many others foster with birth children who have various SEN and mental health issues. It’s a positive to be able to negotiate that system and be a powerful advocate so just remind them of those positives!

Is it for a local authority or agency? I would try and stay positive; the social workers recommendation and the managers recommendation are normally the same as they should both be reading off the same page. Hopefully it will just be that they think carefully about which children they match you with to care for