Waiting for first placement

[Juey1]

Hi, We were approved in June and had the final offical tick last week and now are just waiting for our first placement. We have been told that there is a family with 4 kids who have been known to soc services for years but there situation has worserned in the last couple of months. The kids have gone to respite every weekend for 8 weeks but the situation isn't improving so it looks likey they will be taken into care- we will foster 2 of the children if this happens. Strange though I feel guilty that I am excited about starting but know for that to happen this family breaks down :-(. Suppose i'll get used to conflicting feelings. xx

hiya,

I was really taken by surprise at how I felt when I knew my first LO was being removed from his home. I actually felt sick to the pit of my stomach at the though of this child being taken from his mother, and both him and his mum must have been feeling at that time.

I thought that it was just being a new carer, but I have just been told of another LO who is being placed with me and the feeling are there all over again. (this is my 2nd placement)

It is a difficult thing, but you do just want to get on with it and do what you have been preparing to do for months.

I am sure it's normal to feel like that because as mothers ourselves the worse thing would be to have a child taken off us like this but Juey it sounds like it has broken down, doesn't it. x

I have a foster son who has been with us for a year and I did feel really guilty when we were first offered him. However when I read his full case file I realised that being in care was by far the best thing for him and his family simply were unable to cope with having children on top of their own low intelligence and chaotic lives. He still sees them twice a month and they have actually been really grateful and supportive of the placement as they know themselves they can not provide for him or his four siblings properly. You may find that these childrens parents will be the same. Good luck!

Thank you for your replies they have really helped, I spoke to another fc and she said that we have nothing to do with the family breakdown but can help in putting the family back together so I am going to look at it that way :-) Still haven't heard anything yet- just a case of keep waiting xx

Please don't feel guilty - and remember that you are part of the solution, not the problem.

Hi

I have had my first placement (straight from hospital) for nearly three weeks now and I felt really torn too. Although I was really exited about looking after this lovely wee baby I felt awful about the situation too.

Be kind to yourself and enjoy your little one while they are with you...

Should read little ones...!