I think we've reached the end of our road

[EarthMotherImNot]

Title says it all really

Since our last lo left a few weeks ago Dh and I have endlessly discussed whether to carry on as Fc's.

Her leaving affected us both badly, probably due to her difficult start in life and how intensely we worked with her for so long.

I have a supervision meeting due in a week or so and I'll probably tell my sw then.
We very much want to see our current lo on to his adoption next month but I'm worried they'll move him instead so I'm considering just keeping quiet until he leaves

It hasn't been an easy decision and I've dithered about it some days but we aren't getting any younger and the paperwork and training seems neverending and often not even geared to our age group.

I get tired of hearing sw's speak of manditory training when we are, in effect unpaid childcare.

I think the last straw was being "told" I "must" attend a course on "managing difficult behaviour" we foster newborns for gods sake!

glad to hear you are over the surgery, hoping the chemo and radio therapy don't take too much out of you, and that this will all be over and behind you quickly - sending lot of wishes your way

EMIN
I've been wondering how you are and would like to send you these
xx

Hi everyone, as you can imagine life has been difficult these last weeks. Problems with my operation site have involved 2-3 visits to hospital every week to have the blessed thing drained. Thankfully thats now settling enough for me to begin treatment in the next week or two.

After speaking to my oncologist I have decided to have radio-therapy and drugs but not chemo. There is little evidence, in my case, that it would help or make much difference.

In the past week I've had a heart echo test, a ct scan and an isotope bone scan. I certainly know the hospital inside out now.

Oh and on Thursday I get to meet Betty

Thank you for the flowers

thanks for keeping us up todate EMIN - I often think of you and wonder how you are doing - keep us up to date, it's hard to type and walk with permanently crossed fingers and toes [hsmile]

Thanks for the update and I hope the results for all these tests are good.

Who is Betty????

as you like them! xxx

Good luck with the treatment EMIN, hope it doesn't take too much out of you.. wishing you all the very best...

Glad its not just me wondering who Betty is? The Queen??

lots of

Thanks everyone, shucks, I didn't know you cared

Betty is my new prosthetic boob, ie Betty Boob

Right!! That makes sense! I hope she becomes a comfortable and long standing friend to you! xx

Me too bonnie, well at least until they decide to do my reconstruction job

Excellent I hope you get the reconstruction....my friend had one and she looks wonderful but then she always did! xx

Hi EMIN, just been thinking about you, and then someone posted on the 'drug addicted' thread... you are obviously in so many people's minds..

How are you doing? I really hope you are fighting fit and fighting 'it'

Much love
BtheD

I was just thinking of you too! Hope all's going well for you! Xx

I hope you are doing well EMIN. x

Oh my goodness, your posts make me feel so inadequate (in a nice way sort of). You sound like a remarkable woman and I wish you well.

I'm not sure what made me look back for this thread but hello anyway

To everyone who asked, I'm okay, today is my last day of radio-therapy I've hated beyond hate the treatment with all it's lack of dignity, I'm no longer shy about my body, Dh swears that if a cleaner walked into the treatment room I'd whip my top off

The actual treatment, while time consuming, every day for 3 weeks, has been fine but I'm glad today is my last one.

One day last week I was grumbling to myself while waiting to begin the treatment, it's always a long wait, and all the time I was sitting I could hear a child crying.

In my angry mode I thought "can no-one see to the child" Shortly afterwards a man came out of the room where the crying had been coming from and he was holding hands with a little girl of around 3. She was so pretty but had no hair at all.

I have never felt so small and guilty for my thoughts. It made me stop wallowing though so thats a plus

Pleased you've finished the treatment, Emin.
Don't feel guilty about grumbling, God knows it's necessary sometimes!
Hope your recovery goes well. x

I am so glad the treatment is over for you. Just get better now xxx

I think we are all entitled to a good moan every so often - and god knows you deserve one... how sad to hear of that little girl though - god, they can be so brave at times

You be sure to take good care of yourself, recover well and fingers crossed that it has worked its magic.

Much love x x

great news that the treatment is over - all fingers and toes crossed that you sail into full remission and no more is needed!

Dearest Earthmum,
Having been a bit poorly myself,I have severely neglected mumsnet for some months now and was terribly sad to read of your news.I hope that you had a peaceful and restful Christmas and are feeling stronger and better.You were a marvellous support to me when I was caring for our drug withdrawing fosling and I am so very sorry to hear your story.
I send love and best wishes to you and your family Emin.
Minnerva xx

EArth mum.... I just wanted to post to say I wish you all the very best.
I read your thread, but never posted, about the little drug dependant baby you fostered.
We adopted a drug dependant baby when she was six months old, and just wanted to say a very big Thank you to you and your family, like our dds foster family, for giving them such a good start.
Our dd is now 4 and is a wonderful little girl, but unfortunately has many problems related to the alcohol and drugs

Hi everyone ( yoo hoo Minnerva)

I'm doing well apart from a nasty fall over Christmas which resulted in a couple of cracked ribs (sigh)

Anyway I emailed the team manager just after Christmas explaining my treatment is finished and I'm on the mend. I asked if we could meet to discuss possibly returning to fostering at some point. I can't believe how much I've missed the little ones

So far no reply but I'm hoping thats because of the holidays, I'll give it a few days and contact her again.

Hope everyone had a lovely Christmas xxx

Great news to hear you are on the mend!

Just wanted to say your posts also really helped me too. Reading them before actually looking after a baby who is drug dependant, gave me a real insight into what's involved, as well as showing me there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Hope you hear back from sw soon and all goes well x

Oh my goodness, I have just read this thread from start to finish and emin, one word comes to mind...INSPIRATIONAL! I am very new to mn and fostering (only approved on Monday) but your story has really touched me, I hope you continue to get better and also resume your destiny as a fabulous foster carer.

God bless you x

I know these posts are somewhat old now but I just wanted to say through my tears of reading about the little girl you fostered and all her struggles, , thank you. I was one of those babies once . My heroin addict mum took me out of special care . Anyway a lifetime in and out of care etc etc . Messy life. But thank you. FOr being a constant in a turbulent world. For cuddles where there would have been none. For safety. For putting us first. For showing us that there is a life other than what we know and or showin us the person that one day we would like to be . And that we can pass that on to others too.

I'm sorry you are poorly and struggling . I wish you well and the strength to overcome.

Love and hugs back to you.