Army Huband Left Us

[TeresaG]

My husband left me and our 2 children for another woman after nearly 17 years of marriage. First of all he was pretty reasonable money wise but since when I took the girls on holiday he came into our home and looked at my tax credit forms. He's now cut our money even more.

I've contacted the AWS who suggested that I get a solicitor to get a form E which will look into both our money situation. He lives rent free in an army flat and has recently brought a brand new 09 plated car but doesn't contribute to the mortgage.

Help!!

i am sorry to hear this. I would see a solicitor but you may have to start divorce proceedings to get anything legal from the courts re finances. You can then apply for maintenance for you and the children whilst you are sorting out finances i think. Otherwise i would speak to the CSA. He should be paying 25%?? of his wage to you for the two children. If he is a joint owner of the property he should also be paying towards the mortgage. If you can afford to pay it yourself it is better if you want to buy him out and if you do and can afford it i would probably let the mortgage company know you are paying the mortgage yourself (it stands you in good stead of transferring the mortgage into your sole name at a later stage). When finances are eventually sorted out the fact you have paid the mortgage etc should be taken into account. I would also change the locks so he can't get in on the basis that he had already entered the property and you are worried what he will take etc when you are not there. Although he has a right (f joint owner) you have a right to privacy in your own home and any solicitor will probably tell him to stay away.

He lives rent free in an army flat

Not that this helps, but it won't be rent-free (no such thing, I'm afraid). However, it will be considerably less than market rates.

AWS are a good place to start - also, try the Army Families Federation ( www.aff.org.uk/ ) - and you could try to contact the Padre or the Families Officer at his unit for help. Although you're separated, the Army does take a dim view of soldiers not fulfilling obligations towards their families.

What a horribly messy situation for you. I do hope it dets sorted soon.

He lives rent free in an army flat

Not that this helps, but it won't be rent-free (no such thing, I'm afraid). However, it will be considerably less than market rates.

Actually, to clarify, if he is still officially married and is posted somewhere like central London he will be in substitute single living accommodation (usually a flat), or if he is posted away temporarily and living in barracks then there is no charge for the accommodation. There is also some provision for waiving accom charges during the first few months of a separation (can't remember exactly what it is off the top of my head).

However, if he is claiming that his main residence is still your house then you should inform his unit that you are separated - he is obliged to fill in allowances paperwork. Likewise, this should lead to some management interest in his fulfilling his responsibilities properly.

If he is living with the other woman in an Army Flat and hasn't told them he is separated then the shit will hit the fan; either because he has singlies accomodation, or he is trying to say he is married unaccompanied for more allowances.